The purpose of my comment was to suggest we step back and ask what these forums are about. If I'm here to discuss football, to compare talents, to comment on performance in respect of the game I have no problem. However when we start first of all asuming that we know what a person needs in their personal life, a person we dont know, only read about (often from journos who just write stories to titilate) and watch, dissecting their lives and believing we know what they are going through and what we believe they should do (and of course they will probably never read what we say anyway), I just think its perhaps crossing the line, no matter the good intent that may be there..
I remember learning a very good lesson a few decades ago, one that I knew intuitively but needed to be reminded about. One of my past roles was as an anger management group facilitator. Each time having about fifteen individuals who had been convicted of an offence involving violent reactions to situations. I recall going through the process and discussing individual reactions with them etc. Then one said 'Ron (that's my real name), the problem is you dont live the kind of life I live and the things I face.' He was right and I said so. I dont know the very different journey he had travelled. I can speak of strategies, but even though I knew the fellow reasonably well through my association with him, I really had no idea of the day to day life he had experienced that had led him to this point. What I learned was giving advice is fraught with danger because you are imposing your own values. The answer lies within them and generally they already know what they need to do. The trick is just drawing it out of them and having them face what they know is their reality.
