I am not having a go at you or trying to bait anyone,to me it is ironic that they are receiving death threats from people wanting tolerance and claiming to be tolerant.
I am truly saddened to hear of your life experience with your family.
I was placed in a situation where I was forced to make a choice that was difficult for me.
My sister has 2 daughters(my nieces who I love very much),one has recently expressed that she identifies as a male and is in the process of looking to transgender(apologies if not the right phrase) and the second identifies as bisexual.
My wife has some strong religious beliefs as she is hispanic from central america and deviation from the norm is not accepted at all(very machismo society etc..)
I did not know her strong feelings towards the subject when we first met and it would not have made any difference as I love her more than life itself.
My wife has issues with our young children being around my nieces and no matter how much discussion and talking/arguing will her mind be changed.You cannot undo 4 decades of going through life being told that a certain way of life is correct by religion and then just change your view.
It was a heartbreaking situation to be put in as I was forced to have to make a decision as what to do and I chose my wife and children over my sisters family.It was my choice and I own it but it still weighs heavily on me.
My sister hates my choice but comes to accept that I made a choice for what I felt was best for me.
My 2 nieces don't wish to have anything to do with me now and I know how psychologically fragile the one who is looking to transgender is and I stress that I am adding to that even though I stress to my sister and my mother that I still love and care for them very much.
My heart goes out to you Joe. As you know this stuff is done in micro millimetres. The Suffragettes started their struggle for women's rights in 1903 and many would say women are still not considered equal (women's round, I see the irony here too) to this day. But we have come a LONG way.
Mardi Gras began in 1978 after police arrested gay people here in Sydney and that was 9 years after police raided the Stonewall bar in NYC, kicking off a similar movement. I kinda thought the acceptance of gay marriage put the whole struggle to bed but the religious reaction to this jersey proves otherwise.
And as for the whole trans thing, sheesh that's another whole bucket of worms, one that will take many twists and turns and play out in society over the decades to come.
To my mind you're absolutely right to be hurt but not angry at your wife. It very much mimics my relationship with my mother. When she rejected me, many told me to just walk away. But I absolutely could not because I saw all the good in her, and had felt all the love from her. So I just tried to understand this woman who had been born in (then) country Campbelltown in 1930, had had her own massive struggles, and who had only every been taught that gay people were wrong, filthy. To her knowledge, she had never come across a gay person (closets presumably) to alter her thinking.
I just kept chipping away and bit by bit the world changed and one day, believe it or not, she was at a Beccy Cole concert at the Tamworth Country Music festival when some of her mates started sniping and snickering about Beccy being gay when Mum finally broke through her struggle of acceptance and explained that her own daughter was gay and that was perfectly fine. Knock me down with a feather.
My point is that you can never be angry or upset with anyone for ignorance. Ignorance just means they haven't been introduced to something or had the time for that something to infiltrate their own life experience.
Like you, I don't blame your wife nor do I blame the seven boys who will not play for their beliefs. I am saddened by it but it all takes time. A long time.
I hope, over time your wife starts to see it all differently. You're a good man Joe.
