I have borderline personality disorder (BPD). AMA, please.
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patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
Borderline Personality Disorder: A Most Misunderstood Illness
http://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com/a-most-misunderstood-illness/
by Perry D. Hoffman, Ph.D., (President, National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder)
Introduction
(by Joyce Burland, Ph.D. Director, NAMI Education, Training and Peer Support Center)
There is perhaps no serious mental illness more maligned and misconstrued than borderline personality disorder. Years ago, when I started my clinical career, I was warned to “stay away from ‘Borderlines’.” Being of a suspicious nature, I began to search out information about this dread diagnosis, which was primarily attached to women, and carried with it such a blatantly stigmatizing reputation. As I began working with people with this disorder, I became aware of the enormous strength and resiliency they brought to the daily struggle of coping with the disruptive symptoms of the condition, and of the patience and loyalty shown by the families who loved and supported them.
Bringing this diagnosis out of the darkness is long overdue. Individuals and families living with the illness deserve current and correct information, and we must all advocate to dispel the myths which have made borderline personality disorder a “leprosy” of psychiatric diagnoses.
As part of the formal inclusion of borderline personality disorder in its list of priority populations in NAMI’s public policy platform, NAMI has invited Perry D. Hoffman, Ph.D., to write the article that follows. She is a pioneer in educating families about this disorder, and a prime mover in forming a collaborative effort with NAMI to increase visibility and understanding of this treatable mental illness.
What is borderline personality disorder?
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a complex and challenging illness. A disorder that is often prompted by and occurs in the context of relationships, BPD can wreak havoc not only on those with the disorder but on their loved ones as well.
The symptoms of the disorder are:
1. fears of abandonment;
2. intense mood shifts;
3. impulsivity;
4. problems with anger;
5. recurrent suicidal behaviors or self-injurious behaviors; and
6. patterns of unstable and intense relationships.
The symptomatology is pervasive, encompassing five areas of dysregulation: emotion dysregulation, behavioral dysregulation, cognitive dysregulation, interpersonal dysregulation and self dysregulation. Those afflicted with borderline symptoms very often experience sudden shifts in emotion that frequently leave both the individual with BPD and those close to them in their environment in a state of intense disruption. To meet official DSM- IV criteria for the disorder, a person must have at least five of the nine symptoms. Needless to say, experiencing even a few of the behaviors can create a life of pain and suffering.
How common is BPD?
The prevalence of BPD in the general population continues to be debated. While estimates variously range from 0.7 percent to 2 percent, there is agreement that 11 percent of people that come for out patient psychiatric treatment and 20 percent of psychiatric hospital admissions meet DSM-IV criteria for this disorder.
Why is BPD so misunderstood?
Borderline personality disorder, historically and even presently, is a disorder that has met with widespread misunderstanding. There are many reasons for the confusion. With the nine possible symptoms there exist over 200 different ways for the disorder to present itself, and this heterogeneity is further complicated by the fact that BPD rarely stands alone. A high rate of co-occurrence exists with other disorders, which typically include major depression, bi-polar disorder, substance abuse, eating disorders, and anxiety disorders.
To compound the problems, unfortunately another diagnosis is often assessed instead, BPD is often missed or ignored. Data indicate, on average, that five years elapse before BPD is accurately diagnosed in a patient. Lastly, medications are often a source of confusion. It is not uncommon for an individual with BPD to be on three, four, five, six or more medications. To date, no one medication has been specifically researched and approved for BPD.
Surplus stigma
Even among other mental illnesses, BPD is surrounded by a phenomenon that maybe termed “surplus stigma.”
Issues that promote stigma and, thus, further the BPD misunderstanding include:
1) theories on the development of the disorder, with a suspect position placed on parents similar to the erstwhile schizophrenogenic-mother concept;
2) frequent refusal by mental health professionals to treat BPD patients;
3) negative and sometimes pejorative web site information that projects hopelessness; and
4) clinical controversies as to whether the diagnosis is a legitimate one, a controversy that leads to the refusal of some insurance companies to accept BPD treatment for reimbursement consideration.
http://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com/a-most-misunderstood-illness/
http://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com/a-most-misunderstood-illness/
by Perry D. Hoffman, Ph.D., (President, National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder)
Introduction
(by Joyce Burland, Ph.D. Director, NAMI Education, Training and Peer Support Center)
There is perhaps no serious mental illness more maligned and misconstrued than borderline personality disorder. Years ago, when I started my clinical career, I was warned to “stay away from ‘Borderlines’.” Being of a suspicious nature, I began to search out information about this dread diagnosis, which was primarily attached to women, and carried with it such a blatantly stigmatizing reputation. As I began working with people with this disorder, I became aware of the enormous strength and resiliency they brought to the daily struggle of coping with the disruptive symptoms of the condition, and of the patience and loyalty shown by the families who loved and supported them.
Bringing this diagnosis out of the darkness is long overdue. Individuals and families living with the illness deserve current and correct information, and we must all advocate to dispel the myths which have made borderline personality disorder a “leprosy” of psychiatric diagnoses.
As part of the formal inclusion of borderline personality disorder in its list of priority populations in NAMI’s public policy platform, NAMI has invited Perry D. Hoffman, Ph.D., to write the article that follows. She is a pioneer in educating families about this disorder, and a prime mover in forming a collaborative effort with NAMI to increase visibility and understanding of this treatable mental illness.
What is borderline personality disorder?
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a complex and challenging illness. A disorder that is often prompted by and occurs in the context of relationships, BPD can wreak havoc not only on those with the disorder but on their loved ones as well.
The symptoms of the disorder are:
1. fears of abandonment;
2. intense mood shifts;
3. impulsivity;
4. problems with anger;
5. recurrent suicidal behaviors or self-injurious behaviors; and
6. patterns of unstable and intense relationships.
The symptomatology is pervasive, encompassing five areas of dysregulation: emotion dysregulation, behavioral dysregulation, cognitive dysregulation, interpersonal dysregulation and self dysregulation. Those afflicted with borderline symptoms very often experience sudden shifts in emotion that frequently leave both the individual with BPD and those close to them in their environment in a state of intense disruption. To meet official DSM- IV criteria for the disorder, a person must have at least five of the nine symptoms. Needless to say, experiencing even a few of the behaviors can create a life of pain and suffering.
How common is BPD?
The prevalence of BPD in the general population continues to be debated. While estimates variously range from 0.7 percent to 2 percent, there is agreement that 11 percent of people that come for out patient psychiatric treatment and 20 percent of psychiatric hospital admissions meet DSM-IV criteria for this disorder.
Why is BPD so misunderstood?
Borderline personality disorder, historically and even presently, is a disorder that has met with widespread misunderstanding. There are many reasons for the confusion. With the nine possible symptoms there exist over 200 different ways for the disorder to present itself, and this heterogeneity is further complicated by the fact that BPD rarely stands alone. A high rate of co-occurrence exists with other disorders, which typically include major depression, bi-polar disorder, substance abuse, eating disorders, and anxiety disorders.
To compound the problems, unfortunately another diagnosis is often assessed instead, BPD is often missed or ignored. Data indicate, on average, that five years elapse before BPD is accurately diagnosed in a patient. Lastly, medications are often a source of confusion. It is not uncommon for an individual with BPD to be on three, four, five, six or more medications. To date, no one medication has been specifically researched and approved for BPD.
Surplus stigma
Even among other mental illnesses, BPD is surrounded by a phenomenon that maybe termed “surplus stigma.”
Issues that promote stigma and, thus, further the BPD misunderstanding include:
1) theories on the development of the disorder, with a suspect position placed on parents similar to the erstwhile schizophrenogenic-mother concept;
2) frequent refusal by mental health professionals to treat BPD patients;
3) negative and sometimes pejorative web site information that projects hopelessness; and
4) clinical controversies as to whether the diagnosis is a legitimate one, a controversy that leads to the refusal of some insurance companies to accept BPD treatment for reimbursement consideration.
http://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com/a-most-misunderstood-illness/
patorick2010
Mr BPD
http://www.hellawella.com/the-truth...isunderstood-mental-illness-of-our-time/22513
The truth behind (arguably) the most misunderstood mental illness of our time
05/24/2013
By Melissa Valliant
Despite being more common than schizophrenia and bipolar disorder combined, borderline personality disorder remains one of the least understood and most stigmatized mental illnesses.
It’s so misunderstood and stigmatized, in fact, that the press release I received on the subject — which prompted me to write this story — stated, “A topical subject, BPD is featured in the … Sandy Hook school shooting.” The clearly confused PR agency was suggesting that the alleged Sandy Hook shooter, Adam Lanza, suffered from BPD, when, in actuality, there’s never been any reports of him having the condition.
Ryan Lanza, his brother, told ABC News that Adam was autistic, or had Asperger syndrome and “a personality disorder.” There are 10 personality disorders in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition, ranging from obsessive-compulsive disorder to narcissistic personality disorder. Ignorant statements like the one made in the press release are part of the reason why society hears “borderline personality disorder” and thinks “violent.” (For the record, people with BPD are no more violent than the general population.)
What is borderline personality disorder?
An estimated 2% of the population has BPD, a type of personality disorder that is characterized by intense and unstable interpersonal relationships, poorly regulated emotions, self-destructive impulsivity and unstable self-image. People with BPD often harbor an intense fear of being abandoned by the ones they love, suffer from chronic feelings of emptiness, engage in suicidal behavior or threats, and have difficulty controlling anger.
“Walking on eggshells” is a common phrase people use to describe what it’s like being around a loved one with BPD. Their emotions undergo rapid changes that they have difficulty controlling, and an innocuous comment can sometimes spark an angry outburst. What they’re feeling can be so intense that — as Dr. Jerold Kreisman and Hal Straus wrote in “Sometimes I Act Crazy: Living with Borderline Personality Disorder” — “some borderlines feel that they will literally explode if they cannot in some way discharge this agitation.”
This discomfort can lead borderlines to self-mutilate, which sometimes provides them with a sense of release. Or they may engage in some other type of impulsive, self-destructive behavior, like spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving or binge eating. About 8% to 10% of BPD patients commit suicide.
Their unstable emotions, like all BPD symptoms, are a result of a psychiatric illness that stems from neurological imbalances and environmental factors. For example, Kreisman and Straus wrote that people with BPD appear to have been born with a hyperreactive fear system, or their fear system became hyperreactive in response to early fear-provoking trauma, or both. This could explain some of the emotional outbursts that seem disproportionate to the provocation.
Dr. Perry D. Hoffman, president and co-founder of the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder, explained one of the defining aspects of the disorder in an exclusive interview with HellaWella: “It occurs in the context of relationships. Unlike other psychiatric diagnoses, if you put someone with schizophrenia on an island all by themselves, their mental illness would still be evident. If you put someone with BPD on an island, you wouldn’t necessarily see the symptoms — whatever happens, happens in the context of [interacting] with someone else.”
An oft misdiagnosed disorder
Unfortunately, BPD is frequently overlooked or misdiagnosed — all too often as bipolar disorder due to the fact that both conditions involve mood instability. “The difference,” Hoffman said, “is that in bipolar disorder, the mood instability is caused by a pattern of sleep disturbance and then a high level of energy. With people with [BPD], you can track the mood instability to occurring around some incident that occurred in the relationship.”
Additionally, the mood swings in people with bipolar and people with BPD typically differ in duration. “[Bipolar] highs or lows might last for weeks or months,” Hoffman stated. “In someone with borderline personality disorder, the highs and lows can change over dinner.”
To confuse things further, people with BPD also usually suffer from additional mental illnesses. Major depressive disorder occurs in more than 80% of people with BPD; anxiety disorders occur in about 90%; PTSD in 26%; bulimia in 26%; anorexia nervosa in 21%; and bipolar in 10%. And then there’s substance abuse. One study found that two-thirds of BPD patients seriously abused alcohol, street drugs and/or prescribed drugs — Dr. Robert Friedel explained in “Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified” that many report they do this to temporarily relieve severe emotional pain.
Why the stigma?
Like the example I gave at the beginning of this article, the lack of awareness surrounding BPD is partly to blame for the myriad myths that have been floating around for decades and its bad rep — people often assume borderlines are violent, manipulative or just generally bad people.
One of the possible causes of the misconceptions is the name. Not only does it sound confusing, but a simple Google search can produce misleading terms like “borderline schizophrenia.” (There’s no association between BPD and schizophrenia.)
Hoffman believes another reason there’s a negative stigma is because the disorder happens in the context of relationships. People with BPD, as I’ve mentioned, tend to have very unstable and intense relationships, and their fear of abandonment can spark behavior that negatively affects the ones they love.
Hoffman provided the perfect example: “I worked with a woman many years ago who would call her mother about 10 times a day at work. And her mother just couldn’t maintain a job with that kind of interaction. So when she found a new job, she didn’t give her daughter her phone number,” Hoffman said. “You can see how this plays back and forth in the relationship because not getting her mother’s phone number also increased her fears of abandonment.”
What society needs to understand, though, is that these people are sick. Their symptoms and behaviors are indications of a psychiatric disorder, and they need treatment. “We have to educate the public on what the disorder is, that the symptoms represent someone suffering and in pain,” Hoffman said.
In the past few years, celebrities like Demi Lovato and Catherine Zeta-Jones have bravely opened up about their own struggles with bipolar disorder. Despite the fact that BPD is even more prevalent, no one’s uttering a word about it.
“When you see some of these young celebrities who are going in and out of [rehab], I think if we were to have a psychiatrist do an in-depth evaluation, we might see that there’s some borderline traits there, if not the illness,” Hoffman suggested. “But it’s interesting that nobody comes out saying, ‘I have borderline personality disorder.’ Marsha Linehan, [the psychologist who developed dialectical behavior therapy, one of the first effective treatments for BPD], has taken the first step of doing that, but you’re not seeing anybody else, which adds to the stigma, because nobody is trying to educate the public.”
The truth behind (arguably) the most misunderstood mental illness of our time
05/24/2013
By Melissa Valliant
Despite being more common than schizophrenia and bipolar disorder combined, borderline personality disorder remains one of the least understood and most stigmatized mental illnesses.
It’s so misunderstood and stigmatized, in fact, that the press release I received on the subject — which prompted me to write this story — stated, “A topical subject, BPD is featured in the … Sandy Hook school shooting.” The clearly confused PR agency was suggesting that the alleged Sandy Hook shooter, Adam Lanza, suffered from BPD, when, in actuality, there’s never been any reports of him having the condition.
Ryan Lanza, his brother, told ABC News that Adam was autistic, or had Asperger syndrome and “a personality disorder.” There are 10 personality disorders in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition, ranging from obsessive-compulsive disorder to narcissistic personality disorder. Ignorant statements like the one made in the press release are part of the reason why society hears “borderline personality disorder” and thinks “violent.” (For the record, people with BPD are no more violent than the general population.)
What is borderline personality disorder?
An estimated 2% of the population has BPD, a type of personality disorder that is characterized by intense and unstable interpersonal relationships, poorly regulated emotions, self-destructive impulsivity and unstable self-image. People with BPD often harbor an intense fear of being abandoned by the ones they love, suffer from chronic feelings of emptiness, engage in suicidal behavior or threats, and have difficulty controlling anger.
“Walking on eggshells” is a common phrase people use to describe what it’s like being around a loved one with BPD. Their emotions undergo rapid changes that they have difficulty controlling, and an innocuous comment can sometimes spark an angry outburst. What they’re feeling can be so intense that — as Dr. Jerold Kreisman and Hal Straus wrote in “Sometimes I Act Crazy: Living with Borderline Personality Disorder” — “some borderlines feel that they will literally explode if they cannot in some way discharge this agitation.”
This discomfort can lead borderlines to self-mutilate, which sometimes provides them with a sense of release. Or they may engage in some other type of impulsive, self-destructive behavior, like spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving or binge eating. About 8% to 10% of BPD patients commit suicide.
Their unstable emotions, like all BPD symptoms, are a result of a psychiatric illness that stems from neurological imbalances and environmental factors. For example, Kreisman and Straus wrote that people with BPD appear to have been born with a hyperreactive fear system, or their fear system became hyperreactive in response to early fear-provoking trauma, or both. This could explain some of the emotional outbursts that seem disproportionate to the provocation.
Dr. Perry D. Hoffman, president and co-founder of the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder, explained one of the defining aspects of the disorder in an exclusive interview with HellaWella: “It occurs in the context of relationships. Unlike other psychiatric diagnoses, if you put someone with schizophrenia on an island all by themselves, their mental illness would still be evident. If you put someone with BPD on an island, you wouldn’t necessarily see the symptoms — whatever happens, happens in the context of [interacting] with someone else.”
An oft misdiagnosed disorder
Unfortunately, BPD is frequently overlooked or misdiagnosed — all too often as bipolar disorder due to the fact that both conditions involve mood instability. “The difference,” Hoffman said, “is that in bipolar disorder, the mood instability is caused by a pattern of sleep disturbance and then a high level of energy. With people with [BPD], you can track the mood instability to occurring around some incident that occurred in the relationship.”
Additionally, the mood swings in people with bipolar and people with BPD typically differ in duration. “[Bipolar] highs or lows might last for weeks or months,” Hoffman stated. “In someone with borderline personality disorder, the highs and lows can change over dinner.”
To confuse things further, people with BPD also usually suffer from additional mental illnesses. Major depressive disorder occurs in more than 80% of people with BPD; anxiety disorders occur in about 90%; PTSD in 26%; bulimia in 26%; anorexia nervosa in 21%; and bipolar in 10%. And then there’s substance abuse. One study found that two-thirds of BPD patients seriously abused alcohol, street drugs and/or prescribed drugs — Dr. Robert Friedel explained in “Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified” that many report they do this to temporarily relieve severe emotional pain.
Why the stigma?
Like the example I gave at the beginning of this article, the lack of awareness surrounding BPD is partly to blame for the myriad myths that have been floating around for decades and its bad rep — people often assume borderlines are violent, manipulative or just generally bad people.
One of the possible causes of the misconceptions is the name. Not only does it sound confusing, but a simple Google search can produce misleading terms like “borderline schizophrenia.” (There’s no association between BPD and schizophrenia.)
Hoffman believes another reason there’s a negative stigma is because the disorder happens in the context of relationships. People with BPD, as I’ve mentioned, tend to have very unstable and intense relationships, and their fear of abandonment can spark behavior that negatively affects the ones they love.
Hoffman provided the perfect example: “I worked with a woman many years ago who would call her mother about 10 times a day at work. And her mother just couldn’t maintain a job with that kind of interaction. So when she found a new job, she didn’t give her daughter her phone number,” Hoffman said. “You can see how this plays back and forth in the relationship because not getting her mother’s phone number also increased her fears of abandonment.”
What society needs to understand, though, is that these people are sick. Their symptoms and behaviors are indications of a psychiatric disorder, and they need treatment. “We have to educate the public on what the disorder is, that the symptoms represent someone suffering and in pain,” Hoffman said.
In the past few years, celebrities like Demi Lovato and Catherine Zeta-Jones have bravely opened up about their own struggles with bipolar disorder. Despite the fact that BPD is even more prevalent, no one’s uttering a word about it.
“When you see some of these young celebrities who are going in and out of [rehab], I think if we were to have a psychiatrist do an in-depth evaluation, we might see that there’s some borderline traits there, if not the illness,” Hoffman suggested. “But it’s interesting that nobody comes out saying, ‘I have borderline personality disorder.’ Marsha Linehan, [the psychologist who developed dialectical behavior therapy, one of the first effective treatments for BPD], has taken the first step of doing that, but you’re not seeing anybody else, which adds to the stigma, because nobody is trying to educate the public.”
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
Why do people with BPD often feel the need to overshare?
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-people-with-BPD-often-feel-the-need-to-overshare
Elinor Greenberg, Psychologist, Author, Lecturer, and Consultant on Narcissistic Disorders
Answered May 13
Why do people with BPD often feel the need to overshare?
This is a fascinating question! I think that the tendency of people with Borderline Personality adaptations to overshare has to do with the interaction of some of the following factors:
Instant Intimacy
Many of my Borderline clients bond very quickly with new people—sometimes before they have taken the time to check out that the other person shares their feelings.
Few Boundaries
Unlike my Schizoid clients who can be quite secretive, and my Narcissistic clients who want to manage their self image; many of my Borderline clients do not do much filtering of what they say. They want to share intimate details with other people. This is one of the ways they use to get close to others.
Impulsivity
My Borderline clients tend to lead with their emotions. They often act on what they feel, without thinking through the consequences.
Trusting
Some of my Borderline clients are too trusting. They may assume they are safe when they are not. They want to believe that other people are good, so they sometimes overlook any indications that they should be more cautious about what they are saying.
Compulsion to “Confess”
Many of my clients report that it is very hard for them to not reveal everything about themselves to new friends or lovers on the first date. They are likely to tell relative strangers about their childhood traumas, the time they were raped, and all their anxieties.
Conclusion: This type of oversharing and instant bonding is so common among my Borderline clients (and friends) that it's presence can alert me that someone may be coming from a Borderline “place.”
A2A
Elinor Greenberg, PhD, CGP. In private practice in NYC and the author of the book: Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration, and Safety.
www.elinorgreenberg.com
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-people-with-BPD-often-feel-the-need-to-overshare
Elinor Greenberg, Psychologist, Author, Lecturer, and Consultant on Narcissistic Disorders
Answered May 13
Why do people with BPD often feel the need to overshare?
This is a fascinating question! I think that the tendency of people with Borderline Personality adaptations to overshare has to do with the interaction of some of the following factors:
Instant Intimacy
Many of my Borderline clients bond very quickly with new people—sometimes before they have taken the time to check out that the other person shares their feelings.
Few Boundaries
Unlike my Schizoid clients who can be quite secretive, and my Narcissistic clients who want to manage their self image; many of my Borderline clients do not do much filtering of what they say. They want to share intimate details with other people. This is one of the ways they use to get close to others.
Impulsivity
My Borderline clients tend to lead with their emotions. They often act on what they feel, without thinking through the consequences.
Trusting
Some of my Borderline clients are too trusting. They may assume they are safe when they are not. They want to believe that other people are good, so they sometimes overlook any indications that they should be more cautious about what they are saying.
Compulsion to “Confess”
Many of my clients report that it is very hard for them to not reveal everything about themselves to new friends or lovers on the first date. They are likely to tell relative strangers about their childhood traumas, the time they were raped, and all their anxieties.
Conclusion: This type of oversharing and instant bonding is so common among my Borderline clients (and friends) that it's presence can alert me that someone may be coming from a Borderline “place.”
A2A
Elinor Greenberg, PhD, CGP. In private practice in NYC and the author of the book: Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration, and Safety.
www.elinorgreenberg.com
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
http://www.deviantart.com/art/BPD-257636794
BPD by Serynzia, Sep 9, 2011, 9:54:18 PM
Literature / Poetry / General Poetry / Free Verse
I hate myself for making mistakes.
I hate myself for hurting people.
I hate myself for having borderline personality disorder.
I hate myself for being an attention whore because of BPD.
I hate myself for being manipulative because of BPD.
I hate myself for exaggerating things because of BPD.
Basically, I hate myself for having a disorder.
Because you can't fix BPD.
You can learn to live with it, but you can't fix it.
BPD people are ****ed up and that's all the detail I'm going to go into.
Google it if you're curious.
It should explain the million journals
and the constant complaining
and the blowing things out of proportion
and the overreactions
and everything else you hate about me
(and that I hate about myself.)
BPD is a personality disorder.
You can't change someone's personality.
It's a personality type
(dangerous, unpleasant, disgusting)
that stems from
...something.
They haven't figured me out yet.
I can't change it.
I can't fix it.
I can't make it go away
no matter how much I want to.
Someday
someone will want to marry me.
That person will also have to marry
borderline personality disorder.
Nobody wants to marry that kind of madness.
So I think I will be, as the Internet would say, "forever alone."
I have made my peace with that fact.
I would not inflict a marriage with a BPD person on anyone.
Relationships, yes
as much as BPD will let me have them.
But no weddings
no rings
no vows
no family
no children.
Sometimes
I think it would be best to end my life
right here
right now
pill bottle on the bedside table, Thursday in my ears, note under my pillow
so that I can't hurt anyone anymore.
I keep
****ing
hurting
people.
The people I care about.
The people I love, as much as I hate that word.
Lately
I feel like a bear trap.
I lie in wait.
I don't want to hurt anyone, but
people step too close
and my jaws snap
and people are hurt badly.
Then someone resets me
and it starts all over again.
So don't come near me.
Don't get close to me.
Don't get inside my head.
For God's sakes, don't get near my heart.
Because I can hurt you.
And no matter how much I care
no matter how much I love you
no matter how much I don't want to hurt you
in all likelihood
eventually
I will.
http://www.deviantart.com/art/BPD-257636794
BPD by Serynzia, Sep 9, 2011, 9:54:18 PM
Literature / Poetry / General Poetry / Free Verse
I hate myself for making mistakes.
I hate myself for hurting people.
I hate myself for having borderline personality disorder.
I hate myself for being an attention whore because of BPD.
I hate myself for being manipulative because of BPD.
I hate myself for exaggerating things because of BPD.
Basically, I hate myself for having a disorder.
Because you can't fix BPD.
You can learn to live with it, but you can't fix it.
BPD people are ****ed up and that's all the detail I'm going to go into.
Google it if you're curious.
It should explain the million journals
and the constant complaining
and the blowing things out of proportion
and the overreactions
and everything else you hate about me
(and that I hate about myself.)
BPD is a personality disorder.
You can't change someone's personality.
It's a personality type
(dangerous, unpleasant, disgusting)
that stems from
...something.
They haven't figured me out yet.
I can't change it.
I can't fix it.
I can't make it go away
no matter how much I want to.
Someday
someone will want to marry me.
That person will also have to marry
borderline personality disorder.
Nobody wants to marry that kind of madness.
So I think I will be, as the Internet would say, "forever alone."
I have made my peace with that fact.
I would not inflict a marriage with a BPD person on anyone.
Relationships, yes
as much as BPD will let me have them.
But no weddings
no rings
no vows
no family
no children.
Sometimes
I think it would be best to end my life
right here
right now
pill bottle on the bedside table, Thursday in my ears, note under my pillow
so that I can't hurt anyone anymore.
I keep
****ing
hurting
people.
The people I care about.
The people I love, as much as I hate that word.
Lately
I feel like a bear trap.
I lie in wait.
I don't want to hurt anyone, but
people step too close
and my jaws snap
and people are hurt badly.
Then someone resets me
and it starts all over again.
So don't come near me.
Don't get close to me.
Don't get inside my head.
For God's sakes, don't get near my heart.
Because I can hurt you.
And no matter how much I care
no matter how much I love you
no matter how much I don't want to hurt you
in all likelihood
eventually
I will.
http://www.deviantart.com/art/BPD-257636794
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
What causes BPD?
https://www.quora.com/What-causes-BPD
Brian Barnett, Interpreter. Artist. Wilderness guru. BPD
Answered May 27
Borderline Personality Disorder, or BPD, is an emotional disorder. It happens when children grow up in environments that are emotionally painful, or neglectful. The emotional neglect can be very subtle, but children are sensitive. What we may consider subtle as adults is not subtle to a child. The child therefore subconsciously begins adopting ways to protect themself from emotional hurt.
Imagine a little, two-year-old child who is terrified of lightning and thunder during a storm. The father merely laughs and dismisses the child’s feelings as ridiculous. This is emotional abuse of a child. The correct response - the normal, healthy response from a normal, non-demented, healthy adult - is to comfort the little child and assure them that their safe and there is nothing to fear. This is what children need. Not just prefer. Need.
When a child goes long enough without getting their emotional needs met, they learn to hide their emotions, only trust themself, and fake emotional responses - actually, fake all responses, emotional or not - to fit the expectations of whoever they're interacting with. We with BPD have learned that this is the only way to ensure protection from emotional harm.
Borderline Personality Disorder is good for us while we are stuck in our emotionally dangerous environments as kids, since it protects us. What an amazing testament to our brain’s ability to shield us from harm, even when we’re not aware of it. The drawback is that we grow up without our own identity. We’re actors, giving everybody what they want. We share our true selves with nobody, because we learned very early on that our feelings will be rejected, that our feelings are irrelevant and stupid. Therefore, even as adults, we continue subconsciously denying ourselves of our inherent emotional needs. This is a timebomb.
The disorder generally becomes discovered in our adult lives, once we have our own relationships and families. The same subconscious protective mechanisms we developed as children that once kept us safe have long stopped serving their purpose. Instead, they cause only mayhem. Since it's all we know, we don't connect the dots on our own, or realize that our view of reality is distorted. It generally takes a hitting rock bottom event to make us explore our psychology.
https://www.quora.com/What-causes-BPD
Brian Barnett, Interpreter. Artist. Wilderness guru. BPD
Answered May 27
Borderline Personality Disorder, or BPD, is an emotional disorder. It happens when children grow up in environments that are emotionally painful, or neglectful. The emotional neglect can be very subtle, but children are sensitive. What we may consider subtle as adults is not subtle to a child. The child therefore subconsciously begins adopting ways to protect themself from emotional hurt.
Imagine a little, two-year-old child who is terrified of lightning and thunder during a storm. The father merely laughs and dismisses the child’s feelings as ridiculous. This is emotional abuse of a child. The correct response - the normal, healthy response from a normal, non-demented, healthy adult - is to comfort the little child and assure them that their safe and there is nothing to fear. This is what children need. Not just prefer. Need.
When a child goes long enough without getting their emotional needs met, they learn to hide their emotions, only trust themself, and fake emotional responses - actually, fake all responses, emotional or not - to fit the expectations of whoever they're interacting with. We with BPD have learned that this is the only way to ensure protection from emotional harm.
Borderline Personality Disorder is good for us while we are stuck in our emotionally dangerous environments as kids, since it protects us. What an amazing testament to our brain’s ability to shield us from harm, even when we’re not aware of it. The drawback is that we grow up without our own identity. We’re actors, giving everybody what they want. We share our true selves with nobody, because we learned very early on that our feelings will be rejected, that our feelings are irrelevant and stupid. Therefore, even as adults, we continue subconsciously denying ourselves of our inherent emotional needs. This is a timebomb.
The disorder generally becomes discovered in our adult lives, once we have our own relationships and families. The same subconscious protective mechanisms we developed as children that once kept us safe have long stopped serving their purpose. Instead, they cause only mayhem. Since it's all we know, we don't connect the dots on our own, or realize that our view of reality is distorted. It generally takes a hitting rock bottom event to make us explore our psychology.
patorick2010
Mr BPD
With thanks to Simone the Storm fan on facebook.
patorick2010
Mr BPD
https://themighty.com/2017/06/man-experience-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd/
So grateful to be published again, with thanks to themighty.com
Later,
Pat.
[email protected]
http://stores.ebay.com.au/patorick
http://forums.leagueunlimited.com/threads/i-have-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-ama.461654/
https://silvertails.net/threads/i-have-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-ama-please.51172/
https://www.facebook.com/patorick.flynn.1
So grateful to be published again, with thanks to themighty.com
Later,
Pat.
[email protected]
http://stores.ebay.com.au/patorick
http://forums.leagueunlimited.com/threads/i-have-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-ama.461654/
https://silvertails.net/threads/i-have-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-ama-please.51172/
https://www.facebook.com/patorick.flynn.1
patorick I don't have the same battles that you have but we all have something to deal with.
I like reading your posts mate.
Keep them coming.
Go Manly !!
I like reading your posts mate.
Keep them coming.
Go Manly !!
patorick2010
Mr BPD
Thanks for the positive, warm and fuzzy feedback mate.
No one's perfect Harvies Elbow.
I'm sure you're dealing with something or another right now, either directly or indirectly.
We all have our different issues, I'm just trying to deal with mine as well as I possibly can.
And too be honestly and truly grateful for all the good things that I have.
Later sir and yeah go Manly~!
| Team | P | W | L | PD | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
5 | 4 | 1 | 23 | 10 |
|
5 | 4 | 1 | 14 | 10 |
|
6 | 4 | 2 | 48 | 8 |
|
6 | 4 | 2 | 28 | 8 |
|
5 | 3 | 2 | 25 | 8 |
|
5 | 3 | 2 | 14 | 8 |
|
6 | 3 | 2 | 38 | 7 |
|
6 | 3 | 2 | 21 | 7 |
|
6 | 3 | 3 | 37 | 6 |
|
6 | 3 | 3 | 16 | 6 |
|
6 | 3 | 3 | -13 | 6 |
|
5 | 2 | 3 | -15 | 6 |
|
6 | 3 | 3 | -36 | 6 |
|
6 | 2 | 4 | -5 | 4 |
|
6 | 2 | 4 | -7 | 4 |
|
5 | 0 | 5 | -86 | 2 |
|
6 | 1 | 5 | -102 | 2 |
