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Today's humour - New anti-terrorism laws: Aussie Citizenship Questionairre
* How many slabs can you fit in the back of a Falcon Ute while also allowing room for your cattle dog?
* When packing an Esky do you put the ice or the beer in first?
* Is the traditional Aussie Christmas dinner:
a) At least two roasted meats with roast vegetables, followed by a pudding you could use as a cannonball. Also ham. In 40C heat.
b) A seafood buffet followed by a barbie, with rather a lot of booze and ham. In 40C heat.
c) Both of the above, one at lunchtime and one at dinnertime. Weather continues fine.
* How many beers in a slab?
* Does "yeah-nah" mean "Yes and no" or "Maybe" or "Yes I understand but No I don't agree"?
* The phrases "strewth" and "flamin' dingo" can be attributed to which TV character?
a) Toadie from Neighbours
b) Alf from Home & Away
c) Agro from Agro's Cartoon Connection
d) Sgt. Tom Croydon from Blue Heelers?
* When cooking a barbecue do you turn the sausages
a) Once or twice
b) As often as necessary to cook
c) After each stubby
d) Until charcoal?
* Name three of the Daddo brothers.
* Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC?
* Which option describes your ideal summer afternoon:
a) Drinking beer a mate's place
b) Drinking beer at the beach
c) Drinking beer watching the cricket/footy
d) Drinking beer at a mate's place while watching the cricket before going to the beach?
* Would you eat pineapple on pizza? Would you eat egg on a pizza?
* How many cans of beer did David Boon consume on a plane trip from Australia to England?
* How many stubbies is it from Brissy to the Gold Coast in a Torana travelling at 120km/h?
* Who are Scott and Charlene?
* How do you apply your tomato sauce to a pie?
a) Squirt and spread with finger
b) Sauce injection straight into the middle?
* If the police raided your home would you:
a) Allow them to rummage through your personal items
b) Phone up the nearest talkback radio shock jock and complain
c) Put a written complaint in to John Howard and hope that he answers it personally?
* Which Australian Prime Minister held the world record for drinking a yardie full of beer the fastest?
* Have you ever had/do you have a mullet?
* Thongs are:
a) Skimpy underwear
b) Casual footwear
c) They're called jandals, bro?
d)Japanese Safety Boots
* On which Ashes tour did Warney's hair look the best? 1993, 1997, 2001 or 2005?
* What someone is more likely to die of?
a) Red Back Spider
b) Great White Shark
c) Victorian Police Officer
d) King Brown Snake
e) Your missus after a big night
f) Dropbear?
* How many times must a steak be turned on a conventional four-burner barbie?
* Can you sing along to Cold Chisel's Khe Sahn?
* Explain both the "follow-on" and "LBW" rules in cricket and discuss the pros and cons for the third umpire decisions in the latter....
* Name at least 5 items that must be taken to a BBQ.
* Who is current Australian test cricket captain:
a) Ricky Ponting
b) Don Bradman
c) John Howard
d) Makybe Diva?
* Is it best to take a sick day:
a) When the cricket's on
b) When the cricket's on
c) When the cricket's on
* What animal is on the Bundaberg Rum bottle?
* What is the difference between a pot and a middy of beer?
* What are Budgie smugglers?
* Did you cry when Molly died on a Country Practice?
* A "Hoppoate" is:
a) A breed of kangaroo
b) A kind of Australian "wedgie"
c) A disgraced Rugby League player?
* What does having a 'chunder' mean?
* When you were young did you prefer the Hills Hoist over any swing set?
* What do the following terms mean:
a) Mate?
b) Maate
c) Maaaaaaate?
* Best Aussie name is what?
a) Cheryl
b) Charlene
c) Bazza
d) Thommo
e) Shazza
* What does the terminology 'True Blue' mean?
* How many slabs can you fit in the back of a Falcon Ute while also allowing room for your cattle dog?
* When packing an Esky do you put the ice or the beer in first?
* Is the traditional Aussie Christmas dinner:
a) At least two roasted meats with roast vegetables, followed by a pudding you could use as a cannonball. Also ham. In 40C heat.
b) A seafood buffet followed by a barbie, with rather a lot of booze and ham. In 40C heat.
c) Both of the above, one at lunchtime and one at dinnertime. Weather continues fine.
* How many beers in a slab?
* Does "yeah-nah" mean "Yes and no" or "Maybe" or "Yes I understand but No I don't agree"?
* The phrases "strewth" and "flamin' dingo" can be attributed to which TV character?
a) Toadie from Neighbours
b) Alf from Home & Away
c) Agro from Agro's Cartoon Connection
d) Sgt. Tom Croydon from Blue Heelers?
* When cooking a barbecue do you turn the sausages
a) Once or twice
b) As often as necessary to cook
c) After each stubby
d) Until charcoal?
* Name three of the Daddo brothers.
* Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC?
* Which option describes your ideal summer afternoon:
a) Drinking beer a mate's place
b) Drinking beer at the beach
c) Drinking beer watching the cricket/footy
d) Drinking beer at a mate's place while watching the cricket before going to the beach?
* Would you eat pineapple on pizza? Would you eat egg on a pizza?
* How many cans of beer did David Boon consume on a plane trip from Australia to England?
* How many stubbies is it from Brissy to the Gold Coast in a Torana travelling at 120km/h?
* Who are Scott and Charlene?
* How do you apply your tomato sauce to a pie?
a) Squirt and spread with finger
b) Sauce injection straight into the middle?
* If the police raided your home would you:
a) Allow them to rummage through your personal items
b) Phone up the nearest talkback radio shock jock and complain
c) Put a written complaint in to John Howard and hope that he answers it personally?
* Which Australian Prime Minister held the world record for drinking a yardie full of beer the fastest?
* Have you ever had/do you have a mullet?
* Thongs are:
a) Skimpy underwear
b) Casual footwear
c) They're called jandals, bro?
d)Japanese Safety Boots
* On which Ashes tour did Warney's hair look the best? 1993, 1997, 2001 or 2005?
* What someone is more likely to die of?
a) Red Back Spider
b) Great White Shark
c) Victorian Police Officer
d) King Brown Snake
e) Your missus after a big night
f) Dropbear?
* How many times must a steak be turned on a conventional four-burner barbie?
* Can you sing along to Cold Chisel's Khe Sahn?
* Explain both the "follow-on" and "LBW" rules in cricket and discuss the pros and cons for the third umpire decisions in the latter....
* Name at least 5 items that must be taken to a BBQ.
* Who is current Australian test cricket captain:
a) Ricky Ponting
b) Don Bradman
c) John Howard
d) Makybe Diva?
* Is it best to take a sick day:
a) When the cricket's on
b) When the cricket's on
c) When the cricket's on
* What animal is on the Bundaberg Rum bottle?
* What is the difference between a pot and a middy of beer?
* What are Budgie smugglers?
* Did you cry when Molly died on a Country Practice?
* A "Hoppoate" is:
a) A breed of kangaroo
b) A kind of Australian "wedgie"
c) A disgraced Rugby League player?
* What does having a 'chunder' mean?
* When you were young did you prefer the Hills Hoist over any swing set?
* What do the following terms mean:
a) Mate?
b) Maate
c) Maaaaaaate?
* Best Aussie name is what?
a) Cheryl
b) Charlene
c) Bazza
d) Thommo
e) Shazza
* What does the terminology 'True Blue' mean?
