I have borderline personality disorder (BPD). AMA, please.

Feeling, Dealing & Healing (free verse poem)



25/10/2017 (edited 25/11/2017)



Feeling

People are relatively annoyed.

Writing something to release let go.

My humble polite personal self cannot help you.

Recognize responsibly what you need to do to get better.

Can only share what works for me (most idealistically).

Indeed you are seriously fitfully sensually beautiful.

Well beyond my culpable capabilities of wording.

Physical proportion pleasantly personified.

Are you effective enough with this feeling?

#youare #iam #believethat



Dealing

Observe this feeling of frustrated annoyance.

Shall we positively cope with what this is?

All you can do is be there and care.

Selfish negative attitude nightmares negate us.

Boundary of secure comfort limits our friendly zone.

World deceived by your wonderful ornaments.

Still a human that needs to be nurtured, loved and cared.

For deluded objectification and selfish obsession ruin us.

Can your soulful heart sense this?

#please #safe #personalspace



Healing

Radically accept our impermanent nature peacefully.

Mindfully suffer aware of the existence.

Please selflessly desire less than you need.

Awareness benefits things beyond our ego.

Equally understanding and sharing compassion.

Respect for you with genuine universal love.

Being your friend is more than just enough.

To gratefully cherish what energy we have.

What do you honestly need?

#always #forever #nomatterwhat
 
How can someone stop being a boring person?

https://www.quora.com/How-can-someone-stop-being-a-boring-person

By James Haforlarin (Reader, writer, talkative, entrepreneur)

Answered 15h ago

Been boring is horrible and I know because I've been there. To stop being boring is not easy and you'll have to invest a lot of effort in yourself.

If you are ready, you can start by

1. Staying away from your phone - phone addiction had made a lot of people into automatons. They can craft perfect IMs and emails but they are dead in real life. So please stop spending so much time and invest more time talking with real people in front of you.

2. Invest in hobbies - being boring comes from being bland and always doing the same things. Invest in your hobbies instead, go out and try new things. Do some woodworking, hill climbing, writing, skydiving, sports, volunteering or whatever it is you have interest in.

3. Make new friends at your hobbies - the next thing to do is to make new friends who you share hobbies together. This similarity will make it easier to talk and make a connection with them. And the more friends you make, the less boring you'll be. But that's not all.

4. Diversify too - here comes the real deal, hanging out with one type of people at one hobby will make you interesting there but boring elsewhere. So to be interesting, you need to diversify. Have a bunch of hobby. Don't eat at one restaurant. Don't always take the same road home. Have more than one bestfriend. Take your partner to different locations for dates. Don't talk to only one kind of people. As for me I have both extroverts, introverts, needs and guys as friends. Make my life fun.

5. Ask interesting questions - you'll always be boring when you stick to how are you? And what do you do?. When you meet people ask more interesting questions such as what's your story? Give me the highlights of your day? What's interesting about your childhood? Do you believe in colonizing Mars?

6. Learn interest digging - Dale Carnegie once said “talk to a man about his interest and he'll listen for hours”. A lot of times I was boring in the past is because I dwelled on my interest alone and didn't care about my audience's. I talked about psychology when they love medicine or air planes. So to be interesting, find out what your audience likes and dwell on that.

7. Learn the art of elaboration - you'll always be boring if you give response such as fine or okay to questions. Learn to elaborate! When someone ask about your day, say “my day was bland, just sat at home throughout doing quora and watching the punisher, didn't like the film at all” instead of the stupid “fiiiine”

8. Don't be afraid to share - A friend once told me that you can't be a good conversationalist without being vulnerable. You see, being interesting is not always about listening. Some people are nervous talking to strangers right off the bat, and you need to share before they reciprocate. So stop keeping shush. Talk about your day, life, business, upbringing etc.

9. Laugh at the voice - ah ah! The biggest problem of all. Most boring people have the limiting belief that they are just boring. A voice keeps repeating it upstairs. You need to start laughing at this voice because the only reason you are being is because you have boring behaviors not because you are boring.
 
24129529_1269630509803206_2617196454053403282_n.jpg
 
Hi Patrick, I hope you are doing well. I have another question for you about Borderline Personality if you don't mind? What would you say is the worst aspect of B.P.D.? I thank you again for your time.

Hey,

Thank you for your question.

For me, the worst aspect of BPD is the feeling of irrelevance and powerlessness. That I am not worthy of peace, love or understanding. That beneath my careful public relations guard, I am a terrible person. That it's only a matter of time before everyone of consequence figures it all out, misjudges my intentions, blocks me, un-friends me and shuts me out. These are very strong emotional feelings of abandonment and that are always lingering in my mind, no matter how illogical and irrational they maybe.

With that, though, there is hope. You do get better when you start to begin to learn to radically accept that no one is perfect. You can shift your mental perception and train your mind to be stronger and tougher. Not judging yourself, your feelings and just realizing that you have to let go and not let these things control you. Feelings are not facts. Life is really good. Sometimes it can be dark, miserable and lonely, but you need to stay positive and make the very best of it that you can.

Later,

Pat.

[email protected]

http://stores.ebay.com.au/patorick

http://forums.leagueunlimited.com/threads/i-have-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-ama.461654/

https://silvertails.net/threads/i-have-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-ama-please.51172/

https://themighty.com/author/patrick-flynn/

https://www.facebook.com/patorick.flynn.1

https://www.facebook.com/Embrace-Mental-Health-Meetups-1089415667776279

...
 
Hi Patrick,

Thanks for sharing these links and info.

Have you ever been checked for leaky gut syndrome and food allergies/sensitivities? I am asking because there is a link between that condition and auto-immune conditions.

My health issues (anxiety, depression, hypertension, schizophrenia, chronic fatigue) and my interest into science led me to find that out.

I am now fixing my leaky gut to try and fix my other issues. My schizophrenic symptoms have greatly lessened since I cut out the multiple food allergies I have that were causing me auto-immune reactions and I am have become nearly all vegan ; I am on the paleo/AIP diet.

I am thankful to have found someone to talk to about it, sharing my story that openly is something I have never done due to the shame and fear around it and I don't know anyone who has a severe mental condition, I think you can understand....

Cheers from France. I have lived in Australia for 5 years and have just returned home.

I love Australians, you guys are warm and lovely people.

Feel free to share my messages on your blogs if you want to.

I will stay in touch.

Hey,

Not sure about leaky gut syndrome or food allergies, but I am very conscious of gluten and try to eat as mindfully as possible with lots of fresh fruit and vegetables. Lots of exercise too in terms of soccer, yoga and dog walks. It all helps.

I’m an open book, happy to talk to you and people in general about BPD and mental wellness. There is no stigmatic shame to me with mental health. I understand that some people are very personally private about their mental issues and that’s ok. You are not defined by the illness that you have been diagnosed with, you are still a sentient being that requires peace, love and understanding. You deserve to know that your feelings are relevant and that you as a person are important.

Social stigma towards people living with severe mental illnesses is an issue and there is nothing that we can do to change that. Some people are committed to misjudging us and our behaviors, but that is ok. They are entitled to their mentality and I respect their divergent views. They are objects of compassion that also need peace, love and beautiful light. Everyone does.

Later,

Pat.

[email protected]

http://stores.ebay.com.au/patorick

http://forums.leagueunlimited.com/threads/i-have-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-ama.461654/

https://silvertails.net/threads/i-have-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-ama-please.51172/

https://themighty.com/author/patrick-flynn/

https://www.facebook.com/patorick.flynn.1

https://www.facebook.com/Embrace-Mental-Health-Meetups-1089415667776279
...
 
patorick2010 said:
Hi Patrick,

Thanks for sharing these links and info.

Have you ever been checked for leaky gut syndrome and food allergies/sensitivities? I am asking because there is a link between that condition and auto-immune conditions.

My health issues (anxiety, depression, hypertension, schizophrenia, chronic fatigue) and my interest into science led me to find that out.

I am now fixing my leaky gut to try and fix my other issues. My schizophrenic symptoms have greatly lessened since I cut out the multiple food allergies I have that were causing me auto-immune reactions and I am have become nearly all vegan ; I am on the paleo/AIP diet.

I am thankful to have found someone to talk to about it, sharing my story that openly is something I have never done due to the shame and fear around it and I don't know anyone who has a severe mental condition, I think you can understand....

Cheers from France. I have lived in Australia for 5 years and have just returned home.

I love Australians, you guys are warm and lovely people.

Feel free to share my messages on your blogs if you want to.

I will stay in touch.

Hey,

Not sure about leaky gut syndrome or food allergies, but I am very conscious of gluten and try to eat as mindfully as possible with lots of fresh fruit and vegetables. Lots of exercise too in terms of soccer, yoga and dog walks. It all helps.

I’m an open book, happy to talk to you and people in general about BPD and mental wellness. There is no stigmatic shame to me with mental health. I understand that some people are very personally private about their mental issues and that’s ok. You are not defined by the illness that you have been diagnosed with, you are still a sentient being that requires peace, love and understanding. You deserve to know that your feelings are relevant and that you as a person are important.

Social stigma towards people living with severe mental illnesses is an issue and there is nothing that we can do to change that. Some people are committed to misjudging us and our behaviors, but that is ok. They are entitled to their mentality and I respect their divergent views. They are objects of compassion that also need peace, love and beautiful light. Everyone does.

Later,

Pat.

[email protected]

http://stores.ebay.com.au/patorick

http://forums.leagueunlimited.com/threads/i-have-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-ama.461654/

https://silvertails.net/threads/i-have-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-ama-please.51172/

https://themighty.com/author/patrick-flynn/

https://www.facebook.com/patorick.flynn.1

https://www.facebook.com/Embrace-Mental-Health-Meetups-1089415667776279
...
Click to expand...
Ive just changed yoga classes, the last one was very convenient, close to work and just before work BUT the new one is much much better.
 
Is it possible to recover from Borderline Personality Disorder?

https://www.quora.com/Is-it-possible-to-recover-from-Borderline-Personality-Disorder

Answered by Cate Caton on the 14th of January.

Of all the personality disorders, BPD has the most hope for recovery. Why? Because it is the one where the empathy of the individual is intact. BPD people ultimately turn against themselves, blaming themselves and taking too much responsibility for problems. They lash out at others in frustration and emotional dysregulation, then blame themselves for the reaction and results. This is a good thing, because it means they are still willing to take some responsibility for their behaviors as the cause of problems, which means they can self examine and make efforts to change. Narcissists blame others, and feel fine about themselves depending heavily on defense mechanisms, so there is no motivation to self examine and make changes.

The key issues of BPD are that damage has occurred usually from neglect and abuse early in life, and the individual feels invalidated, unheard and needing validation and reassurance from others. They do not feel a stable sense of self because of past abuse, and lean on others, things, purchases, drugs, etc…to get reassurance of their goodness and value as a person. They use relationships as source for validation and pleasure, but move too quickly out of despair and emotional neediness.

The individual with BPD should look at their history and the messages they received from important people, then work against negative messages. Abandonment issues should be examined as well. The Whole Object Relations of a person with BPD is not intact, learn to accept others and situations as both good and bad, valuable and flawed. Black and white thinking is not helpful, learn to be neutral when evaluating a person and situation. Mindfulness if very helpful for this, and part of Dialectic Behavioral therapy. Learn to tolerate distress from situations without lashing out and reacting, and learn to self soothe internally without using outside crutches, even other people.

Learn acceptance of yourself as good AND bad and most importantly, validate yourself realistically and with acceptance. As long as a person has empathy, a true desire to be connected to others in a healthy way for the right reasons (mutual emotional support, helping each other, and caring for and about each other), there is hope for change and growth. Self reliance is the key and acceptance for when others disappoint, because they surely will.

https://www.quora.com/Is-it-possible-to-recover-from-Borderline-Personality-Disorder
 
Why do people with BPD leave such an impact which makes them hard to forget?

https://www.quora.com/Why-do-people-with-BPD-leave-such-an-impact-which-makes-them-hard-to-forget

Answered by John Davies (BA Hons from University of Wales Cardiff UWIC) on the 20th of January 2018.

They open up a huge wound, it’s not one they made, it’s one your parents did years ago.

They took you high to a place you always wanted to go, they took you high and convinced you, you were worth so much and you were special. You finally believed that you were worth so much and hadn’t been that happy in years and years.

They re-enacted the insecurity screwed up people associate with loving someone. It’s not the flat, stable, conservative feeling we want, it’s a high. If you only saw dad at the weekends, then the weekends were special, not because dad was but because you craved the attention and being liked by someone you feared didn’t creates such a strong response in you.

Borderlines idealize, like a Hollywood movie love. It doesn’t last because they feel they don’t deserve you, and maybe you feel you never deserved them - and that’s tough on you both.

It re-opens a chasm of neglect, abuse, loneliness, emptiness and destruction that maybe you thought was long forgotten, they are a teacher in some ways. they show you what’s wrong with you, it’s up to you to join the dots and see what you need to do for yourself.

https://www.quora.com/Why-do-people-with-BPD-leave-such-an-impact-which-makes-them-hard-to-forget
 
So very grateful to have made the local paper again.

#pagesix

At the risk of sounding self-promotional...

----------

Buddhist monk to lead educational seminars in Wagga this weekend

http://www.dailyadvertiser.com.au/s...tional-seminars-in-wagga-this-weekend/?cs=148

By Lachlan Grey

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REFLECTION: Peir Woon, Geshe Sherab and Patrick Flynn share a moment of contemplation. Geshe will lead seminars in Wagga this weekend. Picture: Laura Hardwick

February 9 2018 - 2:52PM

Wagga residents have the opportunity to open their hearts and minds this weekend with a series of seminars presented by respected Buddhist teacher Geshe Sherab.

Geshe has travelled across the globe sharing his knowledge and is excited to teach in Wagga for the first time since 2016.

“We want teach people how to be aware of themselves and care for themselves and their minds,” he said.

“You can change your whole outlook on life and experience new things.”

Wagga’s Patrick Flynn has been practicing Buddhism for 13 months and says he has already felt the benefits.

“The study of mindfulness and relaxing was something of interest to me,” he said.

“It’s about learning to let go of egotistical illusions … and all those things you hang onto mentally.”

Click here for more information on the sessions.
 
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