1. What is the best thing about dating a homeless woman? You can drop her off anywhere 2. What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted. 3. What should a woman say to a man she's just had sex with? Whatever she wants. He's sleeping. 4. Where does virgin wool come from? Ugly sheep. 5. Can you spot the blind man at a nudist colony? Yes, it isn't hard. 6. How can you make your wife mad while making love? Call her from your cell phone. 7. What does the bride of a Polish man get that's long and hard on her wedding night? His last name. 8. What's the down side to a threesome? You'll likely disappoint two women instead of just one. 9. How do you know you're really ugly? Dogs close their eyes when they're humping your leg. 10. Why are hurricanes named after women? Because they arrive wet and wild, then leave with your house and car. 11. What's the similarity between a hurricane and an Alabama divorce? Somebody's gonna' lose a trailer...
The ones about the hurricane reminded me of a standup comic I saw on the TV the other night. He was talking about the hurricanes and that there was this old guy who was going to tie himself to a tree on the waterfront, saying how fit he was and that he was doing it to prove that he was healthy. Well, I'll always remember the line from this comedian: "It's not THAT the wind blows. It's WHAT the wind blows. If you get hit by a Volvo, it won't matter too much that you did your 50 situps this morning". I dunno: I'm tired, and that's what I was reminded of...
