Egrets, I've had a few...(musings and some pics)

[The Who]

I make up my own Dad jokes, which are cringe-worthy, and I've been told more times than I care to remember to "not bother".
There is a 'secret' to creating a dad joke: Think of the punchline first, then craft the riddle to suit the answer.
I find it best to think of a well known saying, ie. a stitch in time saves nine. So the joke becomes: Why did the sewing machine win a bravery award? Because: a stitch in time saved nine!
Here are some other homegrown shockers:
What was the secret to the gardener's success? He knew how to weed out the bad seeds!
What did the building say to the earthquake? You crack me up!
What did the cop say when he caught the jockey speeding? Hold your horses!
What do you call a blushing fish? A red herring!

Now, you try. You'll have your kids/grandchildren in stitches. That's a joke in itself:
Why did the Silvertails member buy knitting needles? To have his family in stitches!

 

[globaleagle]

I thought they were ok!

Gawd, it's not even 7am yet. Who is up this early?

Stoooopid so called friends!

 

[globaleagle]

I don't think I've ever been more excited to get a haircut.

It was quite long just before the lockdown as I was about to get one for my trip to Australia (which also got cancelled).

I mean.... if I could do numerous forward rolls.... I'd look like a tumbleweed!

 

[globaleagle]

Happy Canada day! (eh)

To me and @robbiea at least.

Now go home all you damn tourists!

 

[robbiea]

pfffft Albertan swine.

 

[globaleagle]

pfffft Albertan swine.

I agree! Smelly Albertans!

 

[globaleagle]

Last night there was a trivia question which was something like.

What's the name of Freud's daughter who became a psychoanalyst ?

I answered "Shaden"

And it got a lot more laughs than I was expecting.


(It's Anna btw).

 

[manlyfan76]

Last night there was a trivia question which was something like.

What's the name of Freud's daughter who became a psychoanalyst ?

I answered "Shaden"

And it got a lot more laughs than I was expecting.


(It's Anna btw).

My psychologist would love that.
Dr Mamood loves jokes.

 

[globaleagle]

I was watching a 'home reno' show today - called "Good Bones"

And the introduced some guy called Lenny as the contractor.

The lady hosting the show then said:

Lenny is my Dad's third ex-wife's first husband...oh and also her first.

I was like..



wtf have I just tuned in to???

 

[globaleagle]

^ that's hilarious due to its truthfulness!

Byebye Qantas 747 🙁 It was good knowing ye!

Plus side: Saw a bear today.

 

[globaleagle]

I have an extra 'k' if anyone needs one.

I'll just leave it here.

"K"

 

[globaleagle]

Hello 3 people who sometimes glance in this thread.

I went to take the dog for a walk this afternoon and guess what came came over to say hello!

 

[Chip and Chase]

Hello 3 people who sometimes glance in this thread.

I went to take the dog for a walk this afternoon and guess what came came over to say hello!

That's like those photos of Sasquatch and Loch Ness Monster. I assume there is something in the shadows there ??

 

[globaleagle]

That's like those photos of Sasquatch and Loch Ness Monster. I assume there is something in the shadows there ??

omfg

yes...a great BIG BEAR

 

[globaleagle]

That's like those photos of Sasquatch and Loch Ness Monster. I assume there is something in the shadows there ??

Dear Mr "I've got eyesight like a fruit bat"

Updated pic... just for you! lol

 

[Chip and Chase]

I turned up the brightness on my screen and could see it. Have fruitbats got bad eyesight ??

 

[globaleagle]

No...they've got excellent vision.....

dammit!

 

[globaleagle]

I love spoiling the end of Dorian Gray for people.....

It never gets old.

 

[globaleagle]

I love spoiling the end of Dorian Gray for people.....

It never gets old.

sorry ge, sometimes your genius is just wasted.

 

[globaleagle]

https://www.cbc.ca/news/indigenous/alberta-brewery-maori-pubic-hair-1.5678566

An Alberta brewery has apologized for unknowingly naming their beer 'pubic hair,' after using a Maori word they thought meant feather.

Two years ago, Hell's Basement Brewery released Huruhuru (The Feather) New Zealand Hopped Pale Ale.

This week, Te Hamua Nikora, who is Maori, took to Facebook to explain 'huruhuru' actually means pubic hair in te reo, the language spoken by the Maori people.


Alberta screw up something from another race? I'm totally not shocked

Maybe free beer heading @Kiwi Eagle , @NZEaglesFan , @kiwinoz 's way!!