Egrets, I've had a few...(musings and some pics)

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globaleagle

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Why won't they let cows become pilots?

Because the steaks would be too high!


Ah hahahahahahahhahaha

I made that up.

You heard it here first folks.
(and probably last)

Hey it did say we can post jokes in here.

Ok Ok, so why at school, when the bell rings to end lunch, the teachers want the kids to run as fast as hell back to the classroom, but when the bell rings for a fire, something that can kill, they want them all to walk out slowly and in an orderly fashion??
 

Clint

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RE: Why don't they let cows.....

You have too much time on your hands Global.
You been drinking again??.. I know I have.... and am...
 

globaleagle

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RE: Why don't they let cows.....

Clint said:
You have too much time on your hands Global.
You been drinking again??.. I know I have.... and am...
lol

Too much time and not enough drinking was the problem, giddy from the manly win!
 

globaleagle

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RE: Why don't they let cows.....

too-che

lol

My wife said to me the other day: "Let's go to Luxembourg!"
I said "Nah, let's save up and go to DE-Luxembourg!!"
 

globaleagle

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RE: Why don't they let cows.....

So do you think that on the farm where Dolly the sheep was cloned that when the 2 dolly's came out the Rams went...woohoo! Twins! High five!!
 

globaleagle

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RE: Why don't they let cows.....

Mals said:
Is this the bad joke forum?

I hope so!

A horse walks into a bar.

The barman says "Why the long face?"

Boooooo!

This is an original jokes forum.

They just also happen to be hilarious!

:p :angel:
 

Mals

Bencher
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Why don't they let cows.....

Mmmm ok then...

Why did GE cross the road?

Cause the Nucks goaltending coach was chasing him...

Oh dear I won't be quitting my day job.
 

globaleagle

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RE: Why don't they let cows.....

Well the nucks are known as the 'goalie graveyard', so you're not too far off the mark!!!

:)
 

globaleagle

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RE: Dolly the sheep. Hubba hubba

I thought of this 'far side' style of joke the other day.

It's obv I'm no artist, but it's good enough.

Enjoy! Ya limey landlubbers

Edit: sigh....no one ever comes into this forum. But I havta post it here :(


hUb51kw.jpg
 

wombatgc

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RE: These cigs will kill you!!

globaleagle said:
I thought of this 'far side' style of joke the other day.

Love far side. but made the mistake
of trying to explain one of Larsons pics too a friend
of a friend at a footy game. He didn't get it..:huh:
I'm like, it's a group of cows standing up talking to each other..how funnies that!.....nothing..zippo..!!

Some of my favs below...

gary_larson_cows.jpg



draft_lens2271926module12428403photo_1225779822YakYakYak.jpg
 

globaleagle

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RE: These cigs will kill you!!

Dan said:
pure genius

Thanks Dan but I wouldn't go that far.

Oh


You meant Larson didn't you.

Bugger.


@wombatgc
stories like that remind me of the simpsons episode where homer sees a 'panel a day' farside calendar and continually rips page after page off saying "I don't get it...I don't get it....I don't...etc)

I used to tell people that sometimes the joke lies with what either happens just before or just after then panel itself!

Now I just smile smugly and say 'yakity yak yak yak.'

:)
 

Dan

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RE: These cigs will kill you!!

I remember a card once I bought for an ex girlfriend before she went overseas for a few weeks. It cracked me up, she opened it and didn't get it, I tried to explain it, and she found my explanation funny but still didnt get the card.

The card?

It was a penguin that had just slipped over with a banana peel behind it

Something like

2341827488_3bc502a50f.jpg
 

globaleagle

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RE: These cigs will kill you!!

^ lol

That actually made me laugh! (again)

I love it when people don't get it.

(sorry for not replying sooner - just finished watching parra v chooks)
 

Dan

Kim Jong Dan
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RE: These cigs will kill you!!

I find it hilarious but that is my warped sense of humour. I showed it to leanne, she just looked at me as if I were a freak. I showed it to a mate rob. He also looked at me with the wrf look.

The confused look of the penguin makes it
 

globaleagle

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RE: These cigs will kill you!!

ok ok ok ......

I don't think it's entirely fair to be comparing my crappy pic with Mr GL's!!!

Geez, tough crowd!


* I love the penguin's face. Larson could bring out so much in such few pencil strokes!

- edit: Insert random F/S panel here...

jKnXT1v.gif
 

The Eagle Has Landed

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RE: These cigs will kill you!!

Do you really want to hear a stupid joke?
I don't care your going to anyway.
On the back of a scanlens wrapper quite a while ago was this
Why did the spider climb the wall?
Answer = Pencil.

Am I missing something?
 

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