Egrets, I've had a few...(musings and some pics)

[globaleagle]

I legit heard this the other day:

Setup:

I was in my car, car in front wanted to turn into a spot but another truck was blocking him.

Eventually he had enough, swerved in front of me and beeped the truck guy.

The truck guy leaned out the window and yelled / said:

"Hey douchebag, be respectful, be Canadian. Don't be like a New Yorker, be respectful."

Must admit, I did laugh and went...ahh Canada, what a great place!

 

[globaleagle]

I think this may be what Dan is aiming for this site!

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-09-...el-citizen-in-a-digital-dictatorship/10200278

also...




China is building a digital dictatorship to exert control over its 1.4 billion citizens. For some, “social credit” will bring privileges — for others, punishment.

 

[globaleagle]

Burgess better look after his 'hose'

https://mashable.com/article/fire-whirl-tornado-sucked-firehose-firefighters/#k5s_MVcVCPq8

 

[globaleagle]

My better half has been speaking all afternoon about how she is looking forward to making a hot chocolate.

Unbeknownst to me, she meant to make it out of the chocolate block we keep in the cupboard. I thought she meant she was going to make it out of the chocolate powder in the cupboard.

so..... I got peckish after dinner and 3/4's of a bottle of bourbon. So....I ate the chocolate.

Boy o Boy, am I in trouble!

 

[globaleagle]

@Woodsie this is no laughing matter! Any suggestions appreciated. I offered to go buy some but somehow she worked out I was drunk.

Pfffft

 

[Woodsie]

@Woodsie this is no laughing matter! Any suggestions appreciated. I offered to go buy some but somehow she worked out I was drunk.

Pfffft

Mate, reading that made me remember and miss married life for the first time in years ... no advice old buddy .... just enjoy. embrace and try to survive the experience ...

 

[globaleagle]

Mate, reading that made me remember and miss married life for the first time in years ... no advice old buddy .... just enjoy. embrace and try to survive the experience ...

It's ok, it's just been solved.

Mrs ge said she was going for a walk (which she often does) and then she is going to drive to the supermarket to buy some chocolate.

This is true.

I said: "Well, if you're going to the supermarket anyway, can you buy me some chocolate?"

She said: "Yeah, go and get ****ed."

I do not think I am getting chocolate. lol

 

[globaleagle]

Ok

@Woodsie

So.... Mrs ge arrived back home with some new chocolate. She then said she gave me away on the world wide forum "something awful dot com"

I asked how much did she get for me?

She said I gave you away for free.

I said: "Oh, ok, what does she look like?"

She said: "It was a he."

I said: "You know, it's just so nice to be wanted....I don't care who it is." (I shed a tear at that time).

End result: ge gots him a hot chocolate.

 

[globaleagle]

So I was recently in Las Angeles receiving my nobel prize for being in the wrong place at the wrong time...and one night Mrs ge was so tired she actually got 'uber eats' to deliver us Mcdonalds at the hotel we were staying in.

What a world we live in, I thought, people out there eking a living delivering lazy bastards food every day.

Then, yesterday I was talking to my sister who has a daughter in College. They bought her a meal plan (yeah, I'd never heard of it either) meaning she can go and get 3 meals a day from the pretty decent cafeteria. Costs a couple of grand I think.

To their shock, the credit card they gave her had a really big number on it. About 1000 charges to uber eats.

The reason: Oh I got soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired from college all I could manage was getting food delivered to me every night.

My take: A couple of grand on a meal plan (not used), another couple of grand spent on uber eats = credit card cancellation. You wanna pull some b/s like that? You pay me back and do it again you're out of uni, or paying for it yourself!

Party on niece!

 

[Woodsie]

So I was recently in Las Angeles receiving my nobel prize for being in the wrong place at the wrong time...and one night Mrs ge was so tired she actually got 'uber eats' to deliver us Mcdonalds at the hotel we were staying in.

What a world we live in, I thought, people out there eking a living delivering lazy bastards food every day.

Then, yesterday I was talking to my sister who has a daughter in College. They bought her a meal plan (yeah, I'd never heard of it either) meaning she can go and get 3 meals a day from the pretty decent cafeteria. Costs a couple of grand I think.

To their shock, the credit card they gave her had a really big number on it. About 1000 charges to uber eats.

The reason: Oh I got soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired from college all I could manage was getting food delivered to me every night.

My take: A couple of grand on a meal plan (not used), another couple of grand spent on uber eats = credit card cancellation. You wanna pull some b/s like that? You pay me back and do it again you're out of uni, or paying for it yourself!

Party on niece!

Does your sister want to sponsor an age pensioner in Australia ....... I will send photos of me eating once a month ....

 

[globaleagle]

Does your sister want to sponsor an age pensioner in Australia ....... I will send photos of me eating once a month ....

Hope so! I'd be cool to have a second nephew!

I think it maaaaaaaaaay be the dad's fault (only child you see)

Like he gave her $800 when she went to london for FIVE days and she 'sprained' her ankle on the first day meaning she 'just had' to take taxis everywhere.

OMG FMD SMH = sheesh

 

[Woodsie]

Hope so! I'd be cool to have a second nephew!

I think it maaaaaaaaaay be the dad's fault (only child you see)

Like he gave her $800 when she went to london for FIVE days and she 'sprained' her ankle on the first day meaning she 'just had' to take taxis everywhere.

OMG FMD SMH = sheesh

Poor girl is just trying to find her way in a harsh and insenitive world ..... she doesn't need the mean Uncle from the North picking on her ...

 

[globaleagle]

Poor girl is just trying to find her way in a harsh and insenitive world ..... she doesn't need the mean Uncle from the North picking on her ...

Sucks to be her then, she lives in Canada too! bloody 'artists' and english majors!

 

[Woodsie]

Sucks to be her then, she lives in Canada too! bloody 'artists' and english majors!

Well, ..... don't be too harsh on them ..... the world needs waitresses ....

 

[globaleagle]

Well, ..... don't be too harsh on them ..... the world needs waitresses ....

hahahaha...oh.....ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

[globaleagle]

What the ef are you lookin' at?

 

[globaleagle]

Here's a pic I thought was funny-ish

 

[globaleagle]

So....

A friend of mine got her picture taken with some famous person with the promise that it would be emailed to her. (It was)

Today (Saturday) her mum asked, "Whatever happened to that picture you said you were going to get?"

Friend: "Mum, I posted it on facebook on Monday! Didn't you see it?"

Mum: "Did you? Oh well... I don't follow everyone I know on facebook."

Friend: "MUM, I'm your ONLY child!!!!!!"


I lol'ed probably more than I should have. But sheesh, that's cold mum, real cold! lol

 

[globaleagle]

I saw this and it made me think of @Woodsie

https://www.gocomics.com/offthemark/2018/10/15

But only to deflect attn off myself.

 

[manlyfan76]