VRL News & Views

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First Grader
Premium Member
VRL News & Views

Dancers go 2 from 2

The Disco Dancers moved into second place on the Silvertails ladder after a comprohensive victory over Ryan on the weekend. However coach Disco-Stu was far from estatic with his teams performance, "were just not clicking, one week our backs are strong and forwards week, the next week our forwards are strong and our backs weak, we need to come together as a unit".

Whilst downplaying the teams efforts as a whole, Stu still manged to single out some individuals "God, Cameran Smith is every coaches wet dream, the kid averages 12 points a week, and consistantly bags a forward and involvement try, and you wonder why he was our key signing " "i also thought Whitey (Brett White) and Danny (Daniel Holdsworth) were strong, gee brett though he was a winger bagging two".

When asked why Stu named the injured Matt Orford at half, therefore playing Ryan without a 7, Stu had this to say "i was mocking Ryan, we took out our general and we still trounced him" when questioned firther Stu confessed "I was drunk when i picked the team.........i didn't even notice matty was wearing a leg brace"
VRL News & Views

Dazzling Pigeons go down

In a close fought encounter at your mums house the Pigeons went down 30 points to 26 to a resurgent Prahran Pyromanics.

"The Pyromanicas were on fire today" Pigeons coach Homer Jay lamented. "I thought my team played well but we just not good enough on the day"

When asked if the lack of a 5/8 halfback and hooker may have had anything to do with the defeat coach Jay was forthright "not in the least, I would field a team of front rowers if I was allowed"

When asked about possible team changes he advised "well jailbird Naiqama is gone, he drove the team bus to the game ffs". "I offloaded him for Michael Gordon from the Panthers, anyone who can kick 8 from 8 is a gun in my books"


Journey Man
VRL News & Views

Down to the wire
The Friday on my mind sloths have gone down by 2 points to the Bupengary Boozehounds in a nail biter. With the scores locked at 12 all with less than 1 minute to play Referee Shaun Archer has called the silliest penalty of all time against Peter Wallace for being offside from the kick leaving the side gutted. The Boozehounds playing in gree for this game quickly potted the 2 points from 25m out sealing the game before the Sloths captain Brett Stewart could argue his point. When question how you can be offside when the opposition kicks referee Archer disagreed pointing out the player in red 6 was in front of the kicker in red 7. Video referee Bill Ward was "draining the lizard" at the time and so was unable to point out that they were on different teams and it was Archer's colour blindness that made them both look to be playing in the same colour.

Later at the press conference when questioned by the media did he get it wrong, Archer made the comments "I called it how i saw it" and "I felt the boozehounds had played better anyway so I saw no big problem with it"

Coach Fluffy took the blame for this one stating "look we should have scored 24 points in this match had it not been for our high mistake rate" and also conceeded the no goal kicker policy was probably not working to well. "The no kicker policy isnt really working too well so this week will see Joe Williams get a run at half back, although obviously we wanted Michael Monaghan to get a run but he was unavailable so Joe will get a start"


UFO Hunter
VRL News & Views

Pirates Coach Annoyed with Results

The Queensland Pirates coach today vented his frustration over the weekends shock loss to the Reapers. In an exclusive interview coach fLIP said he was bemused by the leagues logic that a bloke who scores 2 tries is considered 'Missing In Action'

"I'm a little annoyed about it" fLIP said. "

"Actually, NO, I am ****ing livered. We are equal 6th on points but at this stage of the competition for and against is everything. I can't be having blokes put in two try performances and then being robbed of their efforts."

Two of the Queensland Pirates players who scored trys on the weekend had them disallowed with MIA penalties, making up 8 of the 25 points deducted from his side this weekend. While this wouldn't have changed the outcome of the game it would have left the Pirates with a top 8 spot.

Although being angry over the weekends events fLIP said we wouldn't see another outburst like the one made a few weeks back about rival team the Shoes.

"You've seen the last of that mate. I'm a changed man. Thats not to say I'm still a little confused over the ruling but one thing I need to do is lead by example. Its a long season and we'll get over it. I need to keep a positive frame of mind for the team. There's a long way to go yet."

One thing is for sure, the Pirates have a very competitive side. Once the high profile players start to click there's very few in the Silvertails league who will admit they can stop them.


Journey Man
VRL News & Views

Ryan Ryan's coach Ryan was unavailable to the media. His recruiting manager is due to be sacked because he well and trully missed the boat on all available talent.
Ryan is thinking of donating his 2 million unspent salary cap funds to The National Dwarf Throwing Competition, who also seem to be short in players available.


UFO Hunter
VRL News & Views

Pirates announce new signing by Konsen Tric-Cirlces, March 28, 1:45 PM
Team: Queensland Pirates
League: Silvertails (0965)
The Queensland Pirates have today announced the signing of the 2006 Number One Try Scorer, 'Nathan Merritt'. A deal, estimated to be worth a quarter of a million sees the super star try scoring whiz calling the beaches of South Queensland home.

"I'm excited about the move" said Nathan at the signing press conference.

"I had to weigh up my options but at the end of the day it was a no brainier. They're an exciting team the pirates and I'm just thrilled to be named along side their big name stars"

Although it was a good day for the Pirates and Nathan alike, it was a sad day for Luke Covell. The Pirate winger was cut from the squad after two very bad performances to start the season. The Pirates coach had this to say about Luke's departure.

"He's a **** player. There really are no other words to describe it. There I am, sitting in the coaches box hoping for several hundreds of thousands of dollars to rake in points and he stands on the wing and does jack ****. And when it comes to kicking a goal he can't even bloody well do that."

When we asked Luke about the decision he replied, "Its a sad day for me. I was enjoying my time at the Pirates. Its a great team, great atmosphere and fLIP is the best coach out there. I loved my role in the squad but I'm very optimistic about being picked up by another team. There's a long way to go in the comp, I'll survive."

This weeks game against the Ryan's will see Nathan Merritt make is debut for the side and a big contingency of followers are expected to show up and see their new player take the field.


Journey Man
VRL News & Views

The Mzilikazi Assegais would merely like to point out that we are 2-0 and on top where we expect to be.


Reserve Grader
VRL News & Views

The Manly McAwesomes would like to point out they are top of the table both in point differential and awesomeness.


VRL News & Views

Koopu released as backrow becomes fruitier with Plum

Press Release:

Burpengary Boozehounds coach Nutzcraw: " I would like to announce the new signing of Nigel Plum. We have signed Nigel today and had to let Wairangi Koopu go in order to secure his services."

Coach Nutzcraw says the decision to let Koopu go was a difficult one but at the same time has faith in his new signing. "Nigel is a workaholic, he should get through plenty of tackles and should help us on our road to victory this year. It was a tough decision to let Koopu go knowing he should return from injury shortly but we are sure that nigel will get through more work and will be more of an asset to the team"

When asked whether Nigel would go straight into the run on side Nutzcraw had this to say "I think he will. Our second row is mad up of interchange players and they just aren't getting enough time to prove their worth. So, with the addition of Nigel we should get a full 80 minutes out of him and we are hoping he can get through his normal hefty workload"

We also asked Coach Nutzcraw while we had him whether he had come up with the halves combination he wants. "Yeah, i think we will give Rovelli a rest this week and see if Heady can add his own touch of flair to the team. The competition for spots is definately on and Grant will get another chance in the future. They both have to prove their worth to me and with Grant getting the first 2 games it's only fair we give heady a go"

He also made mention that Paul Aiton may miss this weeks game with a knee injury. "Paul, is struggling a little.. his knee pulled up a little sore after last week. He will travel with the team but it's unlikely he'll be playing"

So with that the team to take on Dougs Dazzlers is:

01. William Zillman
02. Tony Martin
03. Matt King (c)
04. Timana Tahu
05. Jake Webster
06. Benji Marshall
07. Matthew Head
08. Carl Webb
09. George Gatis
10. Bryce Gibbs
11. Junior Moors
12. Nigel Plum
13. Simon Mannering

14. Fraser Anderson
15. Marshall Chalk
16. Trevor Thurling
17. Matthew Bell


First Grader
Premium Member
VRL News & Views

Disco-Stu Has Full Support Of The Board
Disco has moved to quash rumours of unrest within the coaching rank of the Disco Dancers, stating "Disco-Stu is a fantastic coach and all the players and support staff, and more importantly the board are behind him 100%.
The move comes after the Dancers embarrasing round 3 defeat to the Pigeons, where the team failed to score a single point. This comes on top of the non-selection of Richie Williams as well as not realising Matt Orford was injured last week.
In response to the controversy Stu had this to say "F**k you all you mangy b*stards"


First Grader
Premium Member
VRL News & Views

Disco Stu First Coach to Go

In a move that is set to rock the foundation of the Silvertails Cup. The Disco Dancers have released coach Disco-Stu after only 3 games of his 15 year contract.
"It is true that the Dancers and Stu have parted ways, we expect alot here at the Dancefloor and Stu was dragging everyone down" Disco Said
Controversial bench utility Richard Williams had this to say "Stu was a joke of a coach, we were meant to be training mid-week, but he had us in the nightclub, poppin Eckies and getting sh*tfaced"
Whilst secondrower Clint Newton had this message to Stu "why dont you advertise the fact that your out of a job pr*ck"
Replacing Stu is assistant coach, Disco-Steve, who said this about his appointment "i should have had the job from the start, and now i'll show everyone why as i take the Dancers to the title"

***Disco-Stu was unavaliable for comment, it is presumed that he is laying face down in a body of water somewhere


First Grader
Premium Member
VRL News & Views

Mata, i see you have Patten, Peachey and Josh Morris

i also see you are a bit light on for halves

could i propose a trade, one of your three for one of Richard Williams, Joel Moon, Jeremy Smith or Greg Eastwood

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