[moved] Warne- sprung again!

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PJ

Bencher
When Shane Warne and Simone first got married Shane said, "I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it.
In all their 10 years of marriage, Simone had never looked.
However, on the afternoon of their 10th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer cans and $81,874.25 in cash.
She closed the box and put it back under the bed.
Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why there even was such a box with such contents.
That evening, they were out for a special anniversary dinner.
After dinner, Simone could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying,” I am so sorry. For all these years, I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now 1 need to know, why do you keep the 3 beer cans in the box?”
Shane thought for a while and said, I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again."
Simone was shocked, but said, I am very disappointed and saddened by your behaviour. However, since you are addicted to sex, I guess it does happen and I guess 3 times is not that bad considering your problem."
Shane thanked her for being so understanding. They hugged and made their peace.
A little while later Simone asked Shane, "So why do you have all that money in the box?" Shane answered, "Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recycling centre and redeemed them for cash."
 
If you live in australia and this din't hit your inbox yesterday, it is safe to assume you have very little friends :blaugh:
 
Well I'm glad I have friends!
Did you hear about the wealthy business man who, so as his gene pool could continue down the line, had himself cloned.
It turned out that the clone of this man was a real bastard and managed to rub everyone up the wrong way.
The wealth business man got sick of his rude clone so one day he pushed him off a cliff.
Police were unable to charge the business man with murder as the clone wasn't a real person, so instead they charged him with...
'Making an obscene clone fall'
boom tish!
 
Did you hear about the wealthy business man who, so as his gene pool could continue down the line, had himself cloned.
It turned out that the clone of this man was a real bastard and managed to rub everyone up the wrong way.
The wealth business man got sick of his rude clone so one day he pushed him off a cliff.
Police were unable to charge the business man with murder as the clone wasn't a real person, so instead they charged him with...
'Making an obscene clone fall'
boom tish!

That joke makes me sad. My day is that much darker for reading it

:blaugh:
:blaugh: :blaugh:
 
Seeing as you enjoyed the last one so much Dan here is another one to tell the good folk in Fiji....

Did you hear about the bloke with a dog called Mace who kept eating all the grass in his backyard so he eventually had to tie him up.
Eventually the grass started to get really long due to this bloke being really lazy.
One day he was working on his car in the backyard and he lost his favourite wrench in the long grass and couldn't find it.
He ended up giving up looking for it and went to bed.
The next morning he awoke to find all the grass trimed down and his prized wrench sticking out at him.
He figured out Mace must have got of his chain and eaten the grass, so when he went over and picked up the wrench he proclaimed....
"Amazing mace, how sweet the hound,
that saved a wrench for me"
 
Seeing as you enjoyed the last one so much Dan here is another one to tell the good folk in Fiji....

Did you hear about the bloke with a dog called Mace who kept eating all the grass in his backyard so he eventually had to tie him up.
Eventually the grass started to get really long due to this bloke being really lazy.
One day he was working on his car in the backyard and he lost his favourite wrench in the long grass and couldn't find it.
He ended up giving up looking for it and went to bed.
The next morning he awoke to find all the grass trimed down and his prized wrench sticking out at him.
He figured out Mace must have got of his chain and eaten the grass, so when he went over and picked up the wrench he proclaimed....
\"Amazing mace, how sweet the hound,
that saved a wrench for me\"



Are you guys opening christmas crackers in your office or something?
 
I have a massive amount of sad jokes at my disposal, due simply to the fact that I get great pleasure in getting a groan as opposed to a laugh.
There is no use telling the others in my office as they are all female and I'm sick of them flying straight over their heads.
 
yeah i like delivering that kind of humour, but hearing it is not cool dude
 
we all paid to watch it. some of us just didnt pay in cash
 
Team P W L PD Pts
9 8 1 116 18
9 7 2 72 16
9 7 2 49 16
11 7 4 59 14
9 6 3 57 14
10 6 4 -10 14
10 6 4 115 12
10 5 5 -56 12
11 5 5 30 11
10 4 6 15 10
10 5 5 -13 10
10 4 6 -18 8
9 3 6 -71 8
10 3 6 -9 7
9 2 7 -69 6
9 2 7 -87 6
9 1 8 -180 4
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