After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and started to watch the tv. As she had become quite aroused by his caressing, she asked in a loving voice, 'That was wonderful. Why did you stop?' He said, 'I found the remote'. Husband and wife are shopping in Coles when the man picks up a carton of Tooheys and sticks them into the trolley 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife 'They're on special, only $20 for 24 cans', he says 'Put them back. We can't afford it,' says the wife and they carry on shopping... A few aisles later the woman picks up a $40 jar of face cream and sticks it into the trolley. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the man, 'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' she says. The man replies... 'so does 24 cans of Tooheys and it's half the bloody price'
