A man went to confession & confessed to having used the F word. The priest said "Thats four Hail Marys & watch your language in future" But the man said "I want to explain why i used the F word". Very well sighed the impatient priest as he looked at his watch. You see said the man, I played golf on Sunday instead of coming to church. "Was that why you swore?" interrupted the priest. "No, I was on the 1st tee & I hooked my drive badly". "Was that when you swore?" "No, because when i got to my ball, I saw i had a clear shot to the green, but before i could take my second shot a squirrel grabbed my ball & ran up a tree with it" "Was that when you swore?" "No, because an eagle flew by, caught the squirrel in its talons and flew off with it' "Was that when you swore?" asked the increasingly impatient priest. No, because the eagle flew over the green and the dying squirrel let go of my ball and it landed four inches from the hole" In an agitated state, the priest burst out with " Dont tell me you missed the ****ing putt?"