Embarrassing / goofy things I've done.

[Dan]

married a westy

 

[globaleagle]

So I was reading this book and there was a line in it: "It's well known that what really causes scurvy is onanism!"

The Captain replied: "Hey everyone, Wedge just made his first joke!"

So it was late and I was like: "I dunno what onanism means, I'll look it up tomorrow." I forgot and today we drove to my mother in laws place. Now she is pretty much a genius and science guru so I said:

"Hey mother in law, what does onanism mean?"

She laughed and replied: "It means to play with your penis!"

dear oh dear



Remember folks, always get your answers from google!

 

[globaleagle]

Even I'm too embarrassed to type how old I was before I realised Nutella would be delicious!

When I was a kid I saw the pic on the jar, it was just bread and nutella smeared on it and it looked so dry and well...yuck, so I just assumed I wouldn't like it.

Slow forward many, many , many years and I was like, 'Ummm this is just gunna be hazelnut chocolate, that sounds delicious!'

And it is.

So many lost years.


Also (this is more stupid than embarrassing, I guess) but my snow jacket is done so I ordered a new one from 'merica. All the reviews are great, etc. - Trew Capow jacket

When it gets here the box is real small which I think is unusual for a nice warm jacket.

Turns out I didn't read all the info properly, it was just a shell jacket, no insulation - it goes over the top of all your warm layers to protect you from wet snow, etc.

The second worse part, I had to pay $80 customs duty as canada hits you up for importing clothes.

The actual worst part...it was $372 AMERICAN!

fmd, like almost $500 for a raincoat???????

 

[Captain Moondog]

I remember going for a swim in Brunswick Heads late one night after a big session at the pub. Naturally I decided not to put my clothes back on as I didn't have a towel. A police car pulled up as I was crossing the park on my way home. Luckily it was one of the local coppers and he just shook his head and drove on. I didn't get locked up and everything else is a bit of a blur.

 

[MuzztheEagle]

I was just bragging to my partner about how good my non alcoholic beer turned out. After two pints I realised I had the taps mixed-up. Me: Sorry, I can't drive to the shops to get nappies now. Response; that's ok, you can still walk and take the kids with you.
Time for some more (full strength) beers now 🙂

 

[globaleagle]

Also (this is more stupid than embarrassing, I guess) but my snow jacket is done so I ordered a new one from 'merica. All the reviews are great, etc. - Trew Capow jacket

The second worse part, I had to pay $80 customs duty as canada hits you up for importing clothes.

The actual worst part...it was $372 AMERICAN!

fmd, like almost $500 for a raincoat???????

Update: - I just returned that mo-fo.

On top of the jacket, you'd need a midlayer ($150) to be even somewhat warm. So 500+80+150 = $730 = far far far too much to pay for a stuff up!

I feel better already!

 

[MuzztheEagle]

Update: - I just returned that mo-fo.

On top of the jacket, you'd need a midlayer ($150) to be even somewhat warm. So 500+80+150 = $730 = far far far too much to pay for a stuff up!

I feel better already!

Reminds me of the time I asked the Ms to buy me a hiking mattress for Christmas and she instead ordered the compression sack for the mattress. We sent it back but not before she asked; if the bag is 60 bucks how f ing much was the mattress going to cost? (I still use a $5 piece of foam)
Last year her mother took a look at my Christmas list and decided to buy me a still attachment for my brewing equipment (there was no chance my partner would have bought it but I thought it was worth a shot). When she gave it to me she asked what it was for. I said; it's a still I will make whisky with it! She replied; oh, I wouldn't have gotten you it if I knew that was what it was for! I didn't send that one back though 🙂

 

[globaleagle]

Reminds me of the time I asked the Ms to buy me a hiking mattress for Christmas and she instead ordered the compression sack for the mattress. We sent it back but not before she asked; if the bag is 60 bucks how f ing much was the mattress going to cost? (I still use a $5 piece of foam)
Last year her mother took a look at my Christmas list and decided to buy me a still attachment for my brewing equipment (there was no chance my partner would have bought it but I thought it was worth a shot). When she gave it to me she asked what it was for. I said; it's a still I will make whisky with it! She replied; oh, I wouldn't have gotten you it if I knew that was what it was for! I didn't send that one back though 🙂

Psssh, tell her you can't give presents with conditions! I wonder what your m.i.l thought it was? Glad the foam worked out. I assume a hiking mattress is something that does the hiking for you and when it returns to camp you fall asleep on it after drinking too much home made whisky.

 

[globaleagle]

So the other day I order a pizza and when it arrives there's no toppings, no sauce, nothing...just a big old round crust.

After complaining to the company I went back to the box and realised ….

I'd accidentally opened it upside down!











Ok, ok I read that one but thought it was funny.........