Bewildered News Ltd journalist runs out of stories about the Manly club

[Phantar]

Just thought I'd throw it out there.

 

[lloydy]

Manly crisis!
Another major blow to the club their bewildered players have had to endure a horror start to pre season training, they returned to find that they now have to drink powerade in place of gatorade!
The players are said to be fuming and someone's mum wrote a letter that someone's brother put on Twitter that they may have a clause in their contract to play basketball or something or someting like that anyway.

 

[Andrew..]

Just thought I'd throw it out there.

I don't think you estimate just how low their journo's will go for a story, heaps left.

Daly Cherry Evans, Johnny Gibbs secret love child ?

Toovey loses control...spotted arriving at training in unwashed car.

Sponsorship Investigation..Galuvao seen at Narrabeen in 92 nissan pulsar.

 

[Captain Moondog]

Elvis not Dead......But sitting on throne in secret bunker under Brookvale Oval shock!

 

[MadMarcus]

In the latest story to rock the Manly Sea Eagles it has been revealed that World's Best CEO Sir Todd Greenberg is deep in negotiations with Warringah Council to buy Narrabeen Beach and relocate it to Belmore.

"Des told me he misses being close to the beach while he is training. What Des wants, Des gets. We have put in a very competitive offer and we are confident we will hit our target on this one." said Greenberg from his Wiley Park compound yesterday.

The Sea Eagles Board's frosty relationship with Warringah Council is being blamed.

 

[Berkeley_Eagle]

I hear the Bewildered toilet cleaner is thinking about it too but is holding out for more $ because of the extra crap down doggy way

 

[Blake]

The Ball Boys website has a pretty funny article about Greenburg buying Brookie Oval, Manly Beach and DCE's hyphen.

http://theballboys.com.au/2011/10/10/bulldogs-reveal-plans-to-poach-brookvale-oval-manly-beach-and-cherry-evans-hyphen/

 

[Jatz Crackers]

Middle East Peace on the Brink

The United Nations today condemned the Warringah Council & the Manly Warringah Sea Eagles for denying the residents of the Gaza Strip the opportunity to relocate to the residential component of Brookvale Oval as part of the famous sportsfields redevelopment.

In a not so surprising move, Council opted to use the information gleened from their 832nd public consultation on the redevelopment proposal to justify their stance that only local beach going bogans could enjoy the surrounds of the hallowed turf of Brookvale Oval.

United Nations president Showmeyour Moon was said to be fuming at Warringah Councils lack of compassion. In a rare display of frustration Mr Moon said yesterday, “the Gaza Strip population has every right to be confused & disappointed as to what constitutes a bogan. The people of the Gaza Strip also love sand. This may unfortunately have a detrimental effect on world peace”

Warringah Council councillor Crystal Kitsch was not available for comment as she couldnt take time out from annoying almost every resident on the northern beaches with wild claims about over develoment and foreign invasions.

 

[Earnie the Eagle]

In a surprise development the federal government has moved troops into Manly to prevent more defectors relocating to Belmore.

The once mothballed HMAS Melbourne is now on its way to be stationed at Manly wharf. The minister of defence said " its a very powerfull statement placing a warship at Manly, it shows that we really mean business"

This will the first time that the new Tiger Attack helicopter will be used in an offensive role, scumdogs call it "The Angel of Death"

Abram Tanks are being positioned on the Spit Bridge.

The government has indicated that those responsible would face harsh punishment and would place in the recently restored Port Arthur convict prison in Tasmania.

 

[anthonyb1965]

Manly Player seen in showers with bare arse!!!

 

[MadMarcus]

Manly Player seen in showers with bare arse!!!

sparking speculation that Manly players can't afford clothes because the club is not paying their wages...

 

[SeaEagleRock8]

Sea Eagles Rocked again - Egor has Get-Out Clause.

 

[Rambo1987]

just wait till one of the players accidently run over a cat. Headline - Manly players kill cat

 

[weev]

Hah, it will never happen! News Ltd journalists will never run out of stories because the imagination runs deep.

Does anyone remember the story about Menzies 'being crucified over their' at Manly for not joining Super League? It was in the Australian many years ago.

I have hated News since (even their company name is a bogus), or as some cynical staff call it, Limited News.

 

[Earnie the Eagle]

just wait till one of the players accidently run over a cat. Headline - Manly players kill cat

Would be worse if it read "Manly players accidentally run over a Bulldog"

 

[Berkeley_Eagle]

A bewildered DCE has a hickey sources say it was a opposition hack that did it

 

[Phantar]

just wait till one of the players accidently run over a cat. Headline - Manly players kill cat

Would be worse if it read "Manly players accidentally run over a Bulldog"

The poor unfortunate animal was called Ritchie. His owner was philosophical however. He was quoted as saying - "He was a useless dog, with no personality and no character. Very unusual in that breed."

 

[Earnie the Eagle]

just wait till one of the players accidently run over a cat. Headline - Manly players kill cat

Would be worse if it read "Manly players accidentally run over a Bulldog"

The poor unfortunate animal was called Ritchie. His owner was philosophical however. He was quoted as saying - "He was a useless dog, with no personality and no character. Very unusual in that breed."

..and ugly to boot

 

[Phantar]

Did I mention the owner's name was Rupert Murdoch?

 

[Rambo1987]

just wait till one of the players accidently run over a cat. Headline - Manly players kill cat

Would be worse if it read "Manly players accidentally run over a Bulldog"

The poor unfortunate animal was called Ritchie. His owner was philosophical however. He was quoted as saying - "He was a useless dog, with no personality and no character. Very unusual in that breed."

..and ugly to boot

Euthanasia