Australian Passport Application letter

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I think we can all relate to this !!!

Australian Passport Application letter



      Dear Minister,


I'm in the  process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.

How is it  that Dick Smith has my address and telephone number and knows  that
I bought a TV cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the  Federal Government
is still asking me where I was born and on  what date?

For Christ's  sake, do you guys do this by hand?

You have my  birth date  on all the income tax forms I've filed for the  past
30 years.  It's on my health insurance card, my  driver's licence, on the
last eight bloody passports I've had, on  all those stupid customs
declaration forms I've had to fill out  before being allowed off the planes
over the last 30 years, and  all those insufferable census forms that are
done at election  times.

Would  somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name  is
Maryanne, my father's name is Robert, and I'd be absolutely  astounded if
that ever changed between now and when I  die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I apologise  Minister, but  I'm really pissed off this morning.  Between you
and me, I've had enough of this bull****!  You  mail the application to my
house, then you ask me for my ****ing  address.  What is going on?
You have a gang of Neanderthal  arseholes working there?  Look at my damn
picture.  Do  I look like Bin Laden?  I don't want to dig up Yasser  Arafat,
for **** sakes.  I just want to go and park my arse  on a sandy beach.  And
would someone please tell me, why  would you give a **** whether I plan on
visiting a farm in the  next 15 days?  If I ever got the urge to do something
weird  to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want  to
tell anyone!

Well, I have  to go now, because I have to go to the other end of the city
and  get another ****ing copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of  $60!
Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the  same spot to
assist in the issuance of a new passport the same  day?  But nooooo, that'd
be too damn easy and maybe make  sense.  You'd rather have us running all
over the ****ing  place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find  some
arsehole to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn  picture -- you know,
the one where we're not allowed to smile  in?!  ****ing morons!

Hey, you know  why we can't smile?  Because we're totally pissed off!

Signed - An  Irate ****ing Australian Citizen.

P.S. Remember  what I said above about the picture and getting someone  to
confirm that it's me?  Well, my family has been in this  country since
1788 when one of my forefathers arrived in a  convict ship I have served in
the military and have had security  clearances up the yingyang.  I was aide
de camp to the  Governor of our State for three years, and I have been  doing
volunteer work for the CMF for about five years.  However, I have to get
someone 'important' to verify who I am --  you know someone like my doctor
WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN  COMMUNIST ****ING CHINA!!!  ;D
 
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