An old joke

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You have probably heard this one before but as there is no footy to talk about any more we might as well resurect old jokes.

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up
leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her
around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is
completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.

There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of
cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the
entire wall!

It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange
them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had
put into organizing the display.

There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears
covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears
running all the way along the top shelf.

She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a
large a collection of Teddy Bears, but doesn't mention this to him,
and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.

They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after a while,
she finds herself thinking, "Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the
one! Maybe he could be the future father my children?"

She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds
warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically
lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip
off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love.

She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more
creativity, more heat than she has ever known.

After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive
guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls
over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, "Well, how was it?"

The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into
her eyes, and says...........................................

"Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf."

Jatz Crackers

First Grader
A rough looking woman in her 50s was sitting at a bar. She had incredibly hairy armpits so that whenever she raisded her arm to order a drink, a mass of dark hair was visible to everyone.

At closing time a drunk bloke at the far end of the bar pointed to the woman and said to the bartender "Id likshe to buy the ballerina here one lasht drinky poo for the night."

Ballerina? said the bartender. What makes you think she is a ballerina?

The drunk replied, any girl that can lifsht her leg that high jushed hashed to be a ballerina !

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  • Jethro
    Star Trekkin' across the universe

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