A quick joke thread

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Eagle thru 'n' thru

Reserve Grader
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?......."where's my tractor".
My young boys came up with that and think its funny.

What did one dog say to the other dog? "Woof".......or the alternative answer is "I don’t know because I don’t understand "woof".
 

grassy

Bencher
My wife came home with a dog. I looked down at the dog and said to the wife,”What sort of dog is that”? She said it’s a little “shih tzu”. I said I know that but what breed is it?
 

manlyfan76

There is no A.I. Just better computers
William Shatner has his own line of women's intermit Apparel.
But it's not selling too well.
Could be the name.
Shatner Panties.
 

grassy

Bencher
I have just found out that my wife has been lying to me. Every morning she tells me she is gonna leave me but when I get home from work she is still here.
 
A bloke walks into a bar in New Zealand and orders a shandy. All the Kiwis sitting around the bar look up, expecting to see another Australian visitor.
The barman says, "You aren't from around here, are ya?"
The guy says, "No, I'm from Canada."
The bartender says, "What do you do in Canada?"
The guy says, "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender says, "A tixidermist? What the hick is a tixidermist? Do you drive a tixi?' "No, a taxidermist doesn't drive a taxi. I mount animals."
The bartender grins and yells, "He's okay, boys. He's one of us!"
 

The Who

Journey Man
I just returned from a trip to the USA. When I entered a bar in New Orleans I noticed a number of dogs taking up spaces.
I quizzed the bartender. "Is it normal for dogs in New Orleans to be allowed in bars". He replied: "They are only here for yappy hour."
 

globaleagle

01100111 01100101
Staff member
Premium Member
Tipping Member
Always carry a potato wrapped in foil to a party.

It's a conversation starter: "Ever seen a lion's egg?"

A conversation avoider: "Excuse me! Hot hot hot!"

A conversation ender: "Just got this cyst removed. Feel how heavy!"

Always carry a potato wrapped in foil to a party.
 

Chip and Chase

True Supporter
Staff member
Administrator
Premium Member
Tipping Member
A blonde policewoman is patrolling the highway when she sees a blonde motorist weaving in and out of traffic.

The cop pulls over the motorist and asks for her ID.

Policewoman: May I see your ID, ma'am?

Motorist: What's an ID?

Policewoman: It's a rectangle with a picture of your face on it.

The motorist digs around her purse and pulls out her make up mirror. She takes one look at it and hands it to the officer, "Here it is "

The policewoman takes it, thoroughly examines it, and hands it back to the motorist, saying:

"OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop too !"
 

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