A quick joke thread

[Red Baron]

Putin goes into a coma for 5 years. When he wakes up, he goes to Moscow, enters a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender:

-Is Crimea ours?

-Yes, it is.

-And the Donbas?

-Also ours.

-And Kyiv?

-We got that too.

Satisfied, Putin drinks, and asks:

-Thanks, how much do I owe you?

-5 euros.

 

[Status Quo]

The man didn't want to go camping because he thought it was too intense.

 

[Status Quo]

A blonde policewoman is patrolling the highway when she sees a blonde motorist weaving in and out of traffic.

The cop pulls over the motorist and asks for her ID.

Policewoman: May I see your ID, ma'am?

Motorist: What's an ID?

Policewoman: It's a rectangle with a picture of your face on it.

The motorist digs around her purse and pulls out her make up mirror. She takes one look at it and hands it to the officer, "Here it is "

The policewoman takes it, thoroughly examines it, and hands it back to the motorist, saying:

"OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop too !"

That is a joke that requires some reflection!!

 

[Status Quo]

The hearse was driving up a hill when it hit a bump in the road, the back doors opened up and the box went end over end until it went thru the doors of the chemist, end over end up to the counter, it opened up and the corpse said " Have you got something to stop this coffin' "

 

[BOZO]