My dad told me of the time when he was a teenager and his boss sent him to the hardware store in the morning for a Long Wait. My old man's not as stupid as some would believe (generally, although I've got another story coming...) and so he went home for the day. When he showed up the next morning and his boss asked him where he got to, dad just said:
"Well, after standing around for about an hour, the guy at the shop said he didn't have any left. So he sent me to another store, and the same thing happened! I ended up traipsing all over town, all day, and no-one had any in stock!"
Well, his boss loved this story, thinking that he got my dad a beauty. As I said, instead he'd just taken the day off, so everyone was a winner!
A non-work related "event" that happened to my dad was also while he was a youngin'. Although it's technically not a practical joke, it was funny at the time 🙂 Some of you may know the name 'Star Hotel' in Newcastle. If you don't, Google for "Star Hotel Riots". When it first opened, it was probably the only real gay bar in Newcastle. My dad and his mate went for a drink there one Saturday morning. Although he knew it's reputation, he figured he needed a drink, and that was the easiest spot to get one at that age...
Anyway, the two walk in and take a seat. Dad's mate goes up and gets the first round of two pints and then excuses himself to go to the bathroom. Dad waits 5 or 10 minutes and realises that his mate must be sitting down on the job, so to speak, so starts sipping on his drink.
By this time, you gotta realise that since his mate has gone to the bathroom, quite a few men have walked into the bar and all they know is that here's a boy, by himself, with two pints in his possession: "maybe he's getting up some Dutch courage" 🙂
Well anyway, 20 minutes have gone, and so has dad's beer. Bugger this he thinks, and he starts on his mates' drink. Now he's starting to garner quite a few looks of interest from the other guys in the room. He knocks back this drink ASAP (priorities, obviously) then runs in to the bathroom to see what's taking his mate so long. His mate's nowhere to be seen: he set my old man up with two pints, then jumped through the window in the bathroom 🙂
Apparently he was sitting there on the couch, pissing himself laughing when dad got home!
One final story, that involves a little payback... a guy I know (Dan: you might remember Rohan) is from India and moved here to study in Melbourne. Well, on one of his first nights out, his new found buddy and he are drinking, checking out the chicks.
"Go on, Ro, have a shot!" says his mate.
"Well, what should I say?"
"How about this: there's that sweet, cute little Aussie animal in the outback. Everyone loves them! You should tell them they look like one of those... it's a compliment!"
"Good idea, good idea. What's this animal called?"
You can imagine the slap Ro got when he walked up to this chick and shows the pearlies with a wink and a "Excuse me, I hope you don't mind me saying, but you remind me of a bush-pig"!
The payback came a few weeks later as he was working in a hotel restaurant. Apparently this huge gay biker (probably from the Star!) walks up to him in the lobby and says "God you're beautiful. What's your number?".
Well, he didn't want to offend the guy, so he gave him his mate's number...
