VRL Round 5: Results

[fLIP]

Schlossy's Shoes 82
Doug Dougs Dazzlers 0

Manly McAwesomes 29
drunk monkeys drunk monkeys 14

Grim Reapers 32
Burpengary Boozehounds 8

Prahran Pyromaniacs 46
Mzilikazi Assegais 18

Ryan Ryan 26
Friday on my mind Sloths 0

Disco FC Dancers 16
Gunners Gunners 14

Dazzling Pigeons 40
Canteen Team Pie Throwers 4

Queensland Pirates 28
units units 22


1. MANLY MCAWESOMES
2. SCHLOSSY'S SHOES
3. QUEENSLAND PIRATES
4. DISCO FC DANCERS
5. GRIM REAPERS
6. DAZZLING PIGEONS
7. PRAHRAN PYROMANIACS
8. MZILIKAZI ASSEGAIS

9. Burpengary Boozehounds
10. Gunners Gunners
11. Canteen Team Pie Throwers
12. units units
13. Ryan Ryan
14. drunk monkeys drunk monkeys
15. Friday on my mind Sloths
16. Doug Dougs Dazzlers

 

[fLIP]

How about the shoes????

 

[Disco]

Dancers going strong 4-1

 

[Downie]

82? Fark me.

Although, the mighty Manly McAwesomes are 5 from 5 and have the best defence in the comp. Sound familiar?

 

[fLIP]

they've got to be a 'shoe in' for the premiership I reckon.

 

[The Gronk]

***Pyros Torch Assegais to Re-Kindle Season***

The Prahran Pyromaniacs have put in a strong performance at Spearthrower Stadium, flogging the Mzilikazi Assegais 46-18. A confused captain Danny Buderus spoke frankly after the win:

"Look, I'll be honest with you blokes. I've got no idea how this scoring system works. I'll be buggered how someone can be given a forward try for having a good game, and then concede one as well for having a bad game. And if Eric Grothe counts as a playmaker when he is out on the wing then I'm Robert Mugabe's aunty's cousin's half brother."

In related news imbecilic halfback Craig Gower is in doubt for this week after having a curse placed on him by local witch doctors after last week's game.

"All I did was get paralytic and grope the local chief's 13 year old daughter! Next thing some witch doctor has put a curse on me! For all I know I might have grown a set of antlers by kick-off this weekend!"

Meanwhile Pyros coach Hamburglar appeared confident about this week's clash with the as yet undefeated Manly McAwesomes.

"I reckon we'll Mc**** on those McAwesomes this weekend. We outpointed them last week, so next week should be a McPasting. They might come from Manly, but they should know that whenever they come to your mum’s house they are going to get McRooted." he said.

 

[fLIP]

\"Look, I'll be honest with you blokes. I've got no idea how this scoring system works. I'll be buggered how someone can be given a forward try for having a good game, and then concede one as well for having a bad game. And if Eric Grothe counts as a playmaker when he is out on the wing then I'm Robert Mugabe's aunty's cousin's half brother.\"

Gold

 

[Nutzcraw]

Boozehounds Lose Again.

****

 

[Fluffy]

Sloths Coach identifies problem.

At the after match press conference coach fluffy said he believed he had identified the problem. "Ive made a mistake and picked up a team of golfers" he said. Explaining that they are always trying to get a negative score. "The boys were reasonbly satisfied this weekend scoring -10 but are feeling a let down after the -26 last weekend". When asked how it has affect the football players in the team the respnce was "Well i think its obvious, Stewy has only scored 3 tries in 5 games, well down on his average and its influenced young McManus who has jumped on the golfing bandwagon". When asked how he plans to fix the problem fluffy said " I am going back to basics, incentive based contracts. For every game that a player scores positive points they get a stupid looking pair of pyjama pants and should the team make the 8 this season i will by them a gold jacket that will not match with anything"

The incenetives may just work but the media are still sceptical and the Sloths will go into next weeks game with a start of 20+.

 

[The Gronk]

golfers....lol

I wish I had thought of that, I could have picked myself to play for the Pyros. I am very good at getting large positive scores on the golf course.

Any other news coming out of VRL team camps this week gentlemen?

 

[Nutzcraw]

Boozehounds Coach knew the loses were just around the corner

"Look, i know it doesn't help that we didn't train all week and I forgot to name a team but you would think the boys going in at the last minute would put up a better showing wouldn't you?" Is the brief assessment Coach Nutzcraw gave of his men's result this week.

"I don't know where to go from here. I guess you could say I'm paying the price for not completely understanding the rules of the VRL at the trade period. We might just have to conceed that this is a re-building phase we are going through and to make the 8 would be probably the only achievable goal that we had set at the start of the year."

When told that some of his team including his kicker/winger will be on the bye this week Nutzcraw said "For **** sake!"

The side this week to take on Ryan Ryan will be as follows:

01. William Zillman
02. Fraser Anderson
03. Matt King (c)
04. Timana Tahu
05. Jake Webster
06. Benji Marshall - BYE
07. Grant Rovelli - BYE
08. Jeff Lima
09. Paul Aiton
10. Garrett Crossman
11. Cory Patterson
12. Simon Mannering - BYE
13. Tonie Carroll

14. Marshall Chalk - DROPPED
15. Blake Green
16. Junior Moors
17. Trevor Thurling

GOOOOOO BOOZEHOUNDS!

 

[Ryan]

How am I 13th with my squad?

 

[fLIP]

Pirates Drunken Post Match Conference

The Queensland Pirates today continued their fantastic start to the season making their run 4 wins from 5 appearances. The Pirates team have a lot to look forward to but today went on the defensive after their coach fLIP turned up to the post match conference with a blood alcohol reading higher than Todd Carney on joy ride.

When asked what he thought of the game, fLIP replied, "YOU!!!, Why the **** would I want to be interviewed by you???.... NO!"

Despite his comment to the female reporter she continued to try and make something of the interview by questioning Pirates captain Cooper Cronk, however, fLIP kept interrupting the reporter and she eventually exited the press conference in tears.

Although nobody at the Pirates has given an official explanation on fLIP's future, we can only assume things are starting to look very grim for the man that many thought would coach Australia later on this season. These somewhat frequent misdemeanors putting a lot of doubt on his representative coaching career.

fLIP continued to mutter on about "Coff's Harbour" and "She Wanted It" but nobody could quite understand what it was he was alluding to. The press conference had to be cut short when fLIP fell asleep during questioning, however, this didn't seem to effect him for very long after the game when 'always on duty' reporter Danny Scoop spotted fLIP in a Gold Coast bar drinking with NRL player Chris Walker.

Despite the problems over the weekend insider knowledge tells us that although fLIP has caused quite a concern at the Pirates this season, his job will be secure. The Pirates taking a stance that what fLIP does off the field is one thing, but it should not detract from the excellent start he has given this new Silvertail's Franchise.

 

[The Gronk]

Pirates Drunken Post Match Conference

The Queensland Pirates today continued their fantastic start to the season making their run 4 wins from 5 appearances. The Pirates team have a lot to look forward to but today went on the defensive after their coach fLIP turned up to the post match conference with a blood alcohol reading higher than Todd Carney on joy ride.

When asked what he thought of the game, fLIP replied, \"YOU!!!, Why the **** would I want to be interviewed by you???.... NO!\"

Despite his comment to the female reporter she continued to try and make something of the interview by questioning Pirates captain Cooper Cronk, however, fLIP kept interrupting the reporter and she eventually exited the press conference in tears.

Although nobody at the Pirates has given an official explanation on fLIP's future, we can only assume things are starting to look very grim for the man that many thought would coach Australia later on this season. These somewhat frequent misdemeanors putting a lot of doubt on his representative coaching career.

fLIP continued to mutter on about \"Coff's Harbour\" and \"She Wanted It\" but nobody could quite understand what it was he was alluding to. The press conference had to be cut short when fLIP fell asleep during questioning, however, this didn't seem to effect him for very long after the game when 'always on duty' reporter Danny Scoop spotted fLIP in a Gold Coast bar drinking with NRL player Chris Walker.

Despite the problems over the weekend insider knowledge tells us that although fLIP has caused quite a concern at the Pirates this season, his job will be secure. The Pirates taking a stance that what fLIP does off the field is one thing, but it should not detract from the excellent start he has given this new Silvertail's Franchise.

Is coach fLIP by any chance the lovechild of Willie Mason and Craig Gower?

 

[fLIP]

Mason and Naiqama

 

[SilentBob]

The Reapers are slowly but surely creeping to the top.