VRL - Round 4 Results

[fLIP]

Queensland Pirates - 53
Dazzling Pigeons - 20

Disco FC Dancers - 36
units units - 26

Canteen Team Pie Throwers - 6
Ryan Ryan - 0

Gunners Gunners - 24
Prahran Pyromaniacs - 14

Grim Reapers - 49
Friday on my mind Sloths - 8

Mzilikazi Assegais - 18
drunk monkeys drunk monkeys - 8

Schlossy's Shoes - 30
Burpengary Boozehounds - 0

Manly McAwesomes - 32
Doug Dougs Dazzlers - 0


1. MCAWESOMES
2. PIRATES
3. SHOES
4. DANCERS
5. ASSEGAIS
6. BOOZEHOUNDS
7. REAPERS
8. PIGEONS
9. Gunners
10. Pyromaniacs
11. Pie Throwers
12. Sloths
13. drunk monkeys
14. units
15. Ryan
16. Dougs Dazzlers

 

[The Gronk]

Pyros flaming mad after plunging to second straight loss

Fiery scenes followed the Prahran Pyromaniacs second straight loss last weekend.

Pyros coach Mark Latham nearly lifted the roof off the sheds during an explosive post-match address at your mum's house.

"What are ya's? Another conga line of suckholes?" Bloody arse lickers!!" he fumed before getting into a taxi with a driver who promptly put on some Mal Meninga style arm guards.

Pyros captain Danny Buderus thinks some of the problems might be due to the extended absence of try-scoring forward Steve Menzies.

"There hasn't been any beaver around the team for a few weeks now. As a result some of the boys are starting to go blind and others have hairy palms. I can't help but feel it is affecting their performance."

The side also appeared less than confident about their upcoming clash against the Mzilikazi Assegais at Hartsfield stadium. "We don't even know where the joint is! It's probably over in some spear throwing country in Africa! We'll probably come home with the Ebola virus!! I reckon I just drank the gross national product of their country!" said Craig Gower from outside a nightclub.

Internal investigations into Gower's comments are continuing, at least until the media interest subsides.

 

[Nutzcraw]

Boozehounds coach fuming but expected the loss

Once the yelling down the phone ceased Coach Nutzcraw had this to say: "**** me dead, what a frustrating **** **** of a weekend. [long pause] Look, it was a deadset frustrating weekend for me. It wasn't til either during the games or after the games i had learnt guys like Webster and Tahu were not actually **** playing. I got rid of Tony Martin who ended up scoring a try and converting a goal, i swapped him for that **** Wes Naqaima who didn't do anything except miss his only shot at goal. My dragon's players, quite frankly played like a raging pile of dog ****. My halves are ****. My forwards are ****. I guess the upside is it's only our first loss and it's a long season but **** me it's frustrating, ya know. I got rid of side **** show Matthew Petersen earlier in the year and now he's getting a run and scoring tries. A highly **** frustrated weekend alright, ****!"

Coach Nutzcraw pretty much hung up after that and as you can tell does not take losses very well and the VRL is likely to fine him $10,000 for his comments.

 

[Fluffy]

i got my ass kicked

i had 34 points positive and 26 negative to get to 8

can anyone top that?

 

[fLIP]

Pirates Finding Form

In a competition that's only just closing on its quarter way mark, the Queensland Pirates are showing what some experts consider to be the form that could very well lead them to the premiership decider. Having won three of there first four matches convincingly there is reason for the Pirates players and administrators to to be optimistic.

"We're going well" said Pirates coach fLIP in the post match conference. "We had a hick-up against the rapers, [cough] I mean the reapers in round two. I though we we're scored pretty badly in that matche. Players who score 2 tries are certainly not MIA. But I can't stew on it two much. They've got a good team the Reapers. A good home ground at the Infernal Ream. You know I've heard people are dying to become members of that club."

"What we need to remembered is the guys in our team were disappointed. We thought we were hard done by but we did what every well coached and determined team would in that situation. Rack up 40 and 50 points on our opponents in the following weeks."

"I knew when I was selecting my players that I was going out on a limb with quite a few blokes. Especially young Israel Falou. We fought tooth and nail to get him and for just under half a million a season he isn't letting anybody down."

Given the breaking news yesterday that Andrew Johns had retired for the game Pirates coach fLIP could only see the positives. "Yeah, you know, I wasn't really prepared to go for a top of the range 5/8th. I knew with a bit of work I could give an exciting young up and comer a big chance and Jarrod Mullen has grabbed it with both hands. And with Joey giving the game the flick yesterday I can't be happier. He's now the Knights halfback and we're sitting pretty for the rest of the season I reckon.

When asked where he can see the Pirates going this season he replied, "Look, I'm a realistic type. But I'd like to see us end in a top 4 spot. We'll have a good shot from their. Anything more is a bonus but we need to remember we've got a tough draw. We only play Doug's Dazzlers once which is a given two points so the odds are stacked against us but we've made a good start and uh, hopefully it'll continue.

 

[Matabele]

i got my ass kicked

i had 34 points positive and 26 negative to get to 8

can anyone top that?

Yeah, they've buggered the game up with all that MIA and playmaker rubbish. I fail to see the point of it.

 

[Fluffy]

i dont get how a winger scoring 2 tries making 6 - 8 tackles and misisng none can get negative points against them - thats a pretty good game from any winger in my books not world beating but nothing wrong.

I reakon i might win the title for most points lost by the end of the year.

lol

 

[Matabele]

It's getting to the point where you're better off not selecting wingers and error prone players.

 

[Utility Player]

We didn't turn up to play

This was the blunt assesment by Dazzling Pigeons coach Homer Jay.

"Well yeah it was Easter and all and most of the boys being good christaians we went out Friday and got really hammered."

"Thats the reason we didn't turn up to play the bus driver was with us and forgot the way to the ground."

"The pathetic losers who did show up did ok in only going down 53 to 20 to that Pirate scum but hey its a long season and Easter only comes twice a year."

So endeth the lesson.