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Tuesday Funny

Discussion in 'General Discussion Forum' started by Canteen Worker, Apr 20, 2010.

  1. Canteen Worker

    Canteen Worker Well-Known Member

    +215 /5
    One night, a Queenslander was driving south from Brisbane while a New South Welshman was driving north from Sydney. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head on, mangling both cars.

    The Qld guy squeezes out of his wrecked car, surveys the wreck and exclaims, "Crikey, I'm lucky to be alive." The NSW guy extracts himself from the wreckage of his car uninjured and also feels fortunate to have survived such a crash.

    The Cane Toad walks over to the Cockroach and says, "Listen mate. I think that this is a sign that we should put behind our petty State of Origin differences and live as friends instead of rivals."

    The Cockroach thinks for a minute and then says, "You know, you're absolutely right. We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if a certain something may have also survived the crash." And with that, he went to the back of his car, prised open the boot and emerged with a brand new, undamaged bottle of Bundaberg Rum. He turns to the Cane Toad and says, "What luck! This also is surely a sign that we should be friends. Let's toast to us."

    He hands the bottle to the Queenslander who accepts the offer and enthusiastically sucks down half the bottle before saying, "Here's to friendship. Your turn." and hands the bottle back to the New South Welshman.

    The Cockroach takes the bottle back, calmly replaces the lid, throws the bottle over the side of the bridge into the swirling waters below and says, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the cops to turn up."
  2. Fro

    Fro Well-Known Member

    +301 /0
    I went to see a hypnotist last night, he hypnotised 7 people. Was very funny until he dropped a chair on his foot. He yelled out “F%^& me”. What happened next will haunt me forever...
  3. ManlyBacker

    ManlyBacker Winging it Staff Member

    +972 /7
    Goods efforts from both of ya :)
  4. Volley

    Volley Well-Known Member

    +1,109 /54
    I went to a fancy dress party Saturday night only wearing a pair of pants.

    The host asked me what I was meant to be. I told her I was a premature ejaculation, I just came in my pants.
  5. fLIP

    fLIP UFO Hunter

    +1,324 /37
    lol, nice volley
  6. Zep

    Zep Active Member

    +8 /0
    we were given Kevin in 07, he will be given back in 11
  7. The Gronk

    The Gronk Well-Known Member

    +37 /0
    [quote author=Nate link=topic=183058.msg262432#msg262432 date=1273719557]
    we were given Kevin in 07, he will be given back in 11

    Glad to hear he will be re-elected at the 2010 election, and hand the baton over to Julia in 2011. 
  8. Bradza

    Bradza Well-Known Member 2017 Tipping Competitor

    +790 /9

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