Try Hard Writing (Topic - Sex)

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Canteen Worker

First Grader
I came across this article in the SMH and thought it worthy of forum mention. Get the word in bold and see if you can use it in a sentence some time!!

US author wins 'bad sex' award
December 14, 2004 - 1:06PM

American author and journalist Tom Wolfe won one of the world's most dreaded literary accolades on Monday - the British prize for bad sex in fiction.

It is awarded each year "to draw attention to the crude, tasteless, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel".

Wolfe won it for a couple of purple passages from his latest novel I am Charlotte Simmons, a tale of campus life at an exclusive US university.

"Slither slither slither slither went the tongue," one of his winning sentences begins.

"But the hand that was what she tried to concentrate on, the hand, since it has the entire terrain of her torso to explore and not just the [b:7cb9d7a885]otorhinolaryngological[/b:7cb9d7a885] caverns - oh God, it was not just at the border where the flesh of the breast joins the pectoral sheath of the chest - no, the hand was cupping her entire right - Now!"

Judges described Wolfe's prose as "ghastly and boring".

The former Washington Post correspondent, whose debut novel Bonfire of the Vanities was a defining text of the 1980s, fought off stiff competition from 10 other authors including South African Andre Brink, whose novel Before I Forget contains the following description of a woman's vulva:
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"(It was) like a large exotic mushroom in the fork of a tree, a little pleasure dome if ever I've seen one, where Alph the sacred river ran down to a tideless sea. No, not tideless. Her tides were convulsive, an ebb and flow that could take you very far, far back, before hurling you out, wildly and triumphantly, on a ribbed and windswept beach without end."

Another writer who only narrowly escaped the prize was Britain's Nadeem Aslam for his novel Maps for Lost Lovers a tale of life in a Muslim community in an English town.

"His mouth looked for the oiled berry," one of his raunchiest passages starts.

"The smell of his armpits was on her shoulders - a flower depositing pollen on a hummingbird's forehead," another reads.

The winner of the award, organised by the London-based Literary Review, is given an Oscar-style statuette and a bottle of champagne - but only if he or she comes to the awards ceremony in person.
 

Dan

Kim Jong Dan
Staff member
Administrator
Tipping Member
oh dear lord.

Virgins and complete geeks should never write about sex
 

Canteen Worker

First Grader
I hope you aren't saying that I am either! I don't read that sort of literature but thought it funny enough to post. Unbelievable what some people see as literature!

Bring back Jane Austen!
 

Dan

Kim Jong Dan
Staff member
Administrator
Tipping Member
No but only a virgin or a geek would write this

"But the hand that was what she tried to concentrate on, the hand, since it has the entire terrain of her torso to explore and not just the otorhinolaryngological caverns - oh God, it was not just at the border where the flesh of the breast joins the pectoral sheath of the chest - no, the hand was cupping her entire right - Now!"


Someone who learnt about sex from a biology book clearly
 

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