The Melbourne ****ing Storm - Rupert Murdoch's very own Cheat Club, devised in a test tube and unleashed on an unsuspecting city. It's time to put this miserable excuse for a footy club to bed. Why should the Storm be hated? Let me count the ways: 1. Cheaters #1 - off the field salary cap cheats. They should hand their rings back and be dragged down manly corso tarred and feathered. I have some tomatoes in the back of my fridge perfectly ripe for the purple pricks. 2. Cheater #2 - on field wrestling. Who would have thought? Well they did. Win at any cost, right? Now it's standard practice. Thank you Bellyme you overbaked errand boy. You should hand back your Coach of the Year awards. You would have known about the rorting too. 3. Slater. 4. It's a completely made up 'club', built with piles of cash in order to create a marketable backdrop for pay tv and sponsorship. Now if it emerged from Victorian rugby league then great, but no, the team is half of Queensland. Smart kiddies would be confused. 5. Smith. 6. Storm, the name, what is that about? Lifted straight from some American team perhaps, or simply the best the overpayed marketing consultants could come up with. 'It rains in Melbourne, right?'. Pathetic. 7. Their fireworks spurting mascot. Please kill me. Is their anything more devoid of meaning than that farm bike riding superhero. I would really love to read the marketing rationale on that one. I hope who ever devised that mascot monstrosity earned a pretty coin to blot out a lifetime of quiet shame.