RIP Rugby League 1908 - 2008

MadMarcus

Toovey for NRL CEO
RIP Rugby League
1908 - 2014

Sorely missed by those who loved her, this once great game will be remembered for her remarkable ability to survive for so long as an honourable sport despite decades of mismanagement.

After miraculously surviving the Super League war of the mid-1990s, Rugby League was ultimately engulfed by corruption towards the end of 2014 and died an unfittingly undignified death at the hands of a bald man who, despite making Eddie Obied look like Mother Theresa, was dubbed "a great administrator" by the co-conspirators of the game's downfall in the media.

From 2015, the clubs that formerly played in the National Rugby League now play for the Bunnies Storm Cup (or the "BS" Cup as it is often referred to by its fans) in the "National Wrestling League". This "simulated sport" screens live from ANZ Stadium at 7:30pm each weeknight on Fox 8.

Teams play in 10 minute blocks, with 90 second breaks in between for ads. Often the players are part of additional ads during game time - a memorable example being Greg Inglis' well known slogan "I'm glad I paid up my AMP life insurance", which he says each time he goes for one of his famous dives.

Each week a club is voted out of the competition until at the very end only 1 survives. The result is democratically determined by people texting and tweeting their preferred champion throughout the season. Although Chairman Todd Greenberg retains a right of veto.

When a possible try has been scored, the decision is referred to "experts" Karl Stefanovic, Brad Fittler and Delta Goodrem who view the incident with their chairs facing the wrong way. If they think a try has been scored they push their buzzer and their chair swings around so they can see the tryscorer. Naturally, they provide insightful and witty comments throughout the championship, demonstrating their expert knowledge.

As the ads proclaim "you will never guess the twist we have in store for the end of the year", people start to wonder whether the rumours that Tim from Big Brother will be a celebrity referee in the Grand Final are true, or whether SBW (who backflipped on his rugby deal after being guaranteed the 2015 and 2016 premierships) will actually be called for a forward pass. The general consensus is that the latter is a little far fetched, so most people are expecting Tim to take the stage on grand final day.
 

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2025 Ladder

Team P W D L PD Pts
1 Raiders 19 16 0 3 158 36
2 Bulldogs 18 14 0 4 136 34
3 Storm 18 13 0 5 222 32
4 Warriors 18 12 0 6 28 30
5 Panthers 18 10 1 7 79 27
6 Broncos 18 10 0 8 78 26
7 Sharks 19 11 0 8 23 26
8 Dolphins 18 9 0 9 169 24
9 Sea Eagles 18 9 0 9 22 24
10 Roosters 18 8 0 10 4 22
11 Cowboys 19 7 1 11 -157 19
12 Dragons 18 6 0 12 -64 18
13 Tigers 19 7 0 12 -135 18
14 Eels 18 6 0 12 -147 18
15 Knights 19 6 0 13 -116 16
16 Titans 18 5 0 13 -149 16
17 Rabbitohs 19 6 0 13 -151 16
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