Welcome!

By registering with us, you'll be able to discuss, share and private message with other members of our community.

SignUp Now!

Ponderisms

PJ

Well-Known Member
Joined
Oct 25, 2004
Messages
2,801
* I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most
people die of natural causes.

· * Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are
removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes
out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

· * The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to
buy a replacement.

· * Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

· * There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

· * Life is sexually transmitted.

· * Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

· * The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

· * Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

· * Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.

· * Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no
one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

· * Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

· * All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to criticism.

· * In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

· * How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it
takes a whole box to start a campfire?

· * Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

· * Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm
gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."

· * Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

· * If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about
him?

· * Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

· * Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they
are going to look up there anyway?

· * If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

· * If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

· * Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

· * Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets
mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out
the window?

· * Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive
faster?

· * Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
 

Fluffy

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 12, 2004
Messages
21,147
If vegetable oil comes from vegetables where does baby oil come from?



Tests therefore must be testsical which isnt a word

Pushing the elevator button more than once can only help if the contact was not made previously - same with and buttons like that.

As for the glue - well it reacts with the oxygen in the air - of wich there is not sufficiant amounts inside the bottle. Most bottles slowly allow air to penetrate and hence will go off over a long enough period of time.
 

PJ

Well-Known Member
Joined
Oct 25, 2004
Messages
2,801
[quote author=PJ]
· * Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets
mad at you
PJ you are one sick puppy :lol:

[/quote]

Yeah there is a bit of a woman shortage out in the sticks ;)
 

2020 Ladder

Team P W D L PD Pts
1 Panthers 20 18 1 1 299 37
2 Storm 20 16 0 4 258 32
3 Eels 20 15 0 5 104 30
4 Roosters 20 14 0 6 230 28
5 Raiders 20 14 0 6 128 28
6 Rabbitohs 20 12 0 8 169 24
7 Knights 20 11 1 8 47 23
8 Sharks 20 10 0 10 0 20
9 Titans 20 9 0 11 -117 18
10 Warriors 20 8 0 12 -115 16
11 Tigers 20 7 0 13 -65 14
12 Dragons 20 7 0 13 -74 14
13 Sea Eagles 20 7 0 13 -134 14
14 Cowboys 20 5 0 15 -152 10
15 Bulldogs 20 3 0 17 -222 6
16 Broncos 20 3 0 17 -356 6
Top Bottom