• We had an issue with background services between march 10th and 15th or there about. This meant the payment services were not linking to automatic upgrades. If you paid for premium membership and are still seeing ads please let me know and the email you used against PayPal and I cam manually verify and upgrade your account.
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  • Wwe are currently experience some server issues which I am working through and hoping to resolve soon, Please bare with me whilst I work through making some changes and possible intermittent outages.
  • Apologies all our server was runing rogue. I managed to get us back to a point from 2:45 today though there is an attachment issue i will fix shortly. Things should be smooth now though


* I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most
people die of natural causes.

· * Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are
removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes
out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

· * The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to
buy a replacement.

· * Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

· * There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

· * Life is sexually transmitted.

· * Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

· * The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

· * Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

· * Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.

· * Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no
one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

· * Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

· * All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to criticism.

· * In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

· * How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it
takes a whole box to start a campfire?

· * Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

· * Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm
gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."

· * Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

· * If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about

· * Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

· * Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they
are going to look up there anyway?

· * If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

· * If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

· * Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

· * Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets
mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out
the window?

· * Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive

· * Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
If vegetable oil comes from vegetables where does baby oil come from?

Tests therefore must be testsical which isnt a word

Pushing the elevator button more than once can only help if the contact was not made previously - same with and buttons like that.

As for the glue - well it reacts with the oxygen in the air - of wich there is not sufficiant amounts inside the bottle. Most bottles slowly allow air to penetrate and hence will go off over a long enough period of time.
[quote author=PJ]
· * Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets
mad at you

PJ you are one sick puppy :lol:


Yeah there is a bit of a woman shortage out in the sticks ;)
Team P W L PD Pts
10 9 1 124 20
10 8 2 81 18
10 7 3 70 16
10 7 3 69 16
11 7 4 59 14
10 6 4 -10 14
11 6 5 107 12
11 6 5 -9 12
10 5 5 -56 12
11 5 5 30 11
10 4 6 15 10
11 5 6 -12 10
11 4 6 -7 9
10 3 7 -103 8
10 2 8 -81 6
10 2 8 -91 6
10 1 9 -186 4
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