one for the ladies.............NOT

[Fro]

A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and
says to her husband, "I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly - pay me
a compliment".

The husband replies, "your eyesight's f*ckin' perfect".

 

[Canteen Worker]

Where did they bury him?

 

[Fro]

They havent found the body yet

 

[earl]

My wife kept telling me how she was going to go in the army but they told her she had to put on weight. I asked her if she was still interested in joining the army. She said no and ask why.
I replied with , Well , i suppose you can stop putting on weight now.
I thought this was a quick and witty remark. the whole week in the spare room soon fixed that idea.