Need some footy jokes to get through the offseason.

[The Eagle]

Hodkinson will fill Orfords shoes

Chris Bailey signs with manly for 4 season

 

[Darren]

A guy is at a bar with a friend and his dog. He says to his friend- I think there's something wrong with my dog.

Friend: What's wrong with him?
Guy: Well whenever Steve Matai gets injured he barks like crazy
Friend: What happens after that?
Guy: I dunno, he hasn't stopped barking in 3 years

Osama Bin Laden has appeared on Iraqi TV this morning to quell rumours of his death in an explosion in Baghdad yesterday. To prove that the appearance was not pre-recorded Osama stated that he "watched the league semi between Saints and Manly and the Sea Eagles were crap."
The US and Aust government officials have dismissed the report saying it
could have happened any time over the past 2 years.

 

[mosto]

The Eagles are due to play the Sharks at Brookie, but due to an unprecedented run of injuries and suspensions, only two players are available for selection, Anthony Watmough and Jamie Lyon. Not wanting to embarrass the club by forfeiting, Killer and Choc take the field. At halftime they go into the sheds with Manly leading 30-0. Choc looks over at Killer and says "Bugger this, I'm off to the Leagues Club". Killer replies "Mate we've still got a half of footy to play" to which Choc says "You'll be right by yourself, I'll see you at the Club after the game". A little while later Choc's sitting at the club when Killer wanders in. "How'd ya go" asks Choc. "It was tight, but we got up 30-28" says Killer. "What!" says Choc in disbelief "It was 30-0 when I left, what happened". "Well," says Killer "I got sent off 5 minutes into the second half!" 🙂

 

[Rambo1987]

a sign out the front of a Sydney church says "Jesus is coming" and underneth it someone wrote "bet the roosters sign him first"

 

[Dan]

Q: How do we know a Parramatta fan invented the toothbrush?
A: Because if anyone else had invented it, it would be called a Teethbrush

Did you hear that the Post Office has had to recall their latest stamps? They had pictures of Parramatta players on them. People couldn't figure out which side to spit on!!

Government offical visits a Parramatta Supporters house and starts asking all the usual questions and gets to how many children the Woman has:

12
12! Ok, I'll need to know their names?
Robert
and?
Called 'em all Robert.
Isn't that confussing.
Nah means I can just yell out "Come here Robert!" or "F off Robert!"
Ok but what about if you only want one of them?
Then I use their last name.

 

[Darren]

Des went to the shops to buy the paper. He gave the attendant a TEN dollar note and went to walk away. The attendant said "here's your 9 dollars back" and Des ran out of there screaming!!!!

His colleague said "I'd heard he was afraid of CHANGE!!!!"


Ben Cousins Meal Deal. Coming exclusively to the Punt Road Oval Canteen!!

$4.95, No Burger, No Fries, Just Coke and Ice...  bit low that one

 

 

[Jooe]

Graham Lowe  ;D

Cheers

 

[eagle-rock08]

Jesus and Satan were arguing about footy.  So they decided to play a game of league on a neutral ground (between heavan and hell).

Jesus said we'll win because we get all the good players up here.  But Satan said he'd win because he got al the refs down there. 

 

[Schooner]

I heard this one last year...

Q) What's the difference between Darren Lockyer and the St George Illawarra Dragons?

A) Darren Lockyer only sounds like he's choking...

 

[willstyles]

I heard this one last year...

Q) What's the difference between Darren Lockyer and the St George Illawarra Dragons?

A) Darren Lockyer only sounds like he's choking...

Hah! I thought I'd heard all the Dragons/chokers jokes. That's a good one, cheers mate.