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Messed up relationship stories

Dan

Kim Jong Dan
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Earls truly inspirational story of ****-ups and woe has inspired me to realise I have a lot to achieve before I actually do have severely ****ed up relationships.

You all know mine.

So lets hear some more.

Actually here is another of mine.

I had an ex try to stab me once :) 8| 8|
 

PJ

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*PJ thinks about whether or not he should admit to this on a public forum*
 

Utility Player

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A mate of mine came home from the 2nd job he had been working early one night (the 2nd job was to help pay for his wedding) to find his fiance perched up in the sack with a guy from her job.
 

Dan

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PJ just say it mate.

And UP.....that is way too common. Work is the best place to pick up the young hotties.
Especially in big companies!

I still think Earl has the winner!
 

Nutzcraw

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Ahhh that's rough UP.

I was "with" a girl a couple of years back. By "with" i mean that we were rooting for a few months but were never "official" anyway she was originally from NZ and had maori in her. A hot type of maori believe me. Like gorgeous but she just had the slighty tanned skin. Not the big, i'm going to smash your head in type of girl... that was her dad!

He was absolutely massive. It was her 19th birthday and she was having a party, as the party went on she obviously got a bit frisky so grabbed me and took me to her mum and dad's room as it was the furtherest away from the party... ended up going for it on the bed.. then dad walked in!!!

He was pretty filthy, at least he gave me enough time to do up the strides before belting me a couple of times. :lol:

Nah, he didn't get me to bad.. i'm a fairly built bloke anyway so somewhat stood my own but i'd say he got me on points decision hahahha.... I still ended up seeing the girl for about another month but then decided stuff this!
 

clontaago

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hmm. Ex GF and I are out a club, she was acting a bit weird and I asked what was wrong. She had recently changed jobs and had a work going away party which i couldnt go to. Anyway, turns out she kissed some bloke on the night.

So I crack it, call her a slut and tell her to piss off basically. She storms off to the toilet in tears. Anyway, I cooled down a bit and went and waited outside the toilets and about 20 minutes later I stopped a girl and said; "Can you just go in there and tell Lauren I want to speak to her", she says yes and then about 2 seconds later this other chick comes running out of the toilets with blood on her hands screaming, "A girl in there has slit her wrists".

I knew straight away it was her. 2, 2 inch cuts down the length of both wrists with a Crown lager bottle she had broken and used. Doc said she was very, very lucky.

Anyway, a month later we got engaged and then a year after that we broke up.
 

The Gronk

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This seems tame by comparison.......

A mate of mine was getting ready to be best man at his brother's wedding in about two hours, and had had an absolute barney with his missus the night before, and she had stormed off. She comes back, throws anything in the house she can find at him, and then says she is going to the wedding just so she can ruin it, because she never liked his brother.

We spend the whole wedding looking over our shoulders, but she decided to stay at home, trash the house, and put all his stuff on the front lawn and douse it with petrol...my mate couldn't underestand...he was like....I didn't even get to cheat on her and she does this?

Man...she was a psycho. If she didn't have set of DDs that she got out at every opportunity I don't think he would have lasted 5 minutes with her.
 

Dan

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Yup Earl with Doug a close second
 

Nutzcraw

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I might have another one.. worthy

It doesn't involve any blood or anything though hhaha.. it's just a bit gross
 

Dan

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No gross stories in case Doug pulls out the kernel storY
 

Dan

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My Stabbing story!

We were at my ex's place and talking about something, she had a knife because she had to pick something out of something, actually WHY DID SHE HAVE A KNIFE??

Anyways I went to get a drink and got her one put them down and was standing at the bedroom door, apparantly she didnt want orange juice!

She ran at me with the knife outstretched. I grabbed her by the wrist as she ran towards me and spun her around squeezed her wrist and hand until she dropped the knife.
Gave her a very stern warning about ever ever ever thinking of doing anything like that again!
 

Dan

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A mate of mine picked up this chick Sarah at 9am on a
Sunday morning at the Bereisford (a few years back now)...anyway she was hot and an awesome root and it was going well....threesomes the whole kit and kaboodle BUT after a while he figured something was a bit strange about her job (and a mate tipped him off)....
She took alot of chemicals (Big fan of Coke and Special K)

He would drop her off to work and it was just behind where he was living in the city.
She eventually told him that she was a prostitute and she figured he knew (we all had a hunch).
At first he thought [censored] it who cares shes hot and it doesn't mean anything when shes with the other blokes, and just kept partying hard with her.
Eventually it got a bit much- she was ringing him at work chasing chemicals and sounding like she had been shot by a tranquilizer dart (Special K) so he deleted all her numbers.
She was rocking up to his place and waiting out the front from 5.30 for 2 hours for 2 weeks (and she'd come randomly on the weekends) and then eventually she stopped once he said he would call the cops.


now that guy is pushing for a top 3 spot
 

earl

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geez,
Slit wrist , knife attacks , and prostitutes. Well , my ex who 's ex i ran over was a pro as well.
We all have some screwed up lives . Shows where all a little human.
Damn we should write a book or something.
 

Utility Player

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Indeed my Wife's cousin was living with us a few years ago and hooked up with a very attractive bird. The came around home after about 3 months of going out together to announce that they were getting engaged etc. One thing that worried us was that she was unemployed but allways seemed to have money. Well it turned out that she was a pro and was happy with the cousin because he was away from home travelling for work a fair bit. When the poor bugger found out (one of her friends told him) she said "I don't know why your so angry darling it's just a rub and a tug".
 

clontaago

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THE KERNEL!!!!

"A mate of mine" was rooting this chick in the bum, when he pulled out he had a fully intact corn kernel stuck on his knob.

True story

Another ex of mine punched me in the face at a party one night, good punch too.
 

Utility Player

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THE KERNEL!!!!

\"A mate of mine\" was rooting this chick in the bum, when he pulled out he had a fully intact corn kernel stuck on his knob.
That's what you call rough(age) sex ;)
 

earl

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THE KERNEL!!!!

\"A mate of mine\" was rooting this chick in the bum, when he pulled out he had a fully intact corn kernel stuck on his knob.

True story

Another ex of mine punched me in the face at a party one night, good punch too.

I always said corn tastes like crap.

Just on the girl punching incident, i was chasing this girl for ages and one night asked her why she had been sacked form her other job.
She told me that her ex pissed her off so she punched him on the kill floor of an abbys and tried to get him caught in a machine.
Psycho much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

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