> ANGER MANAGEMENT
>
> When you occasionally have a bad day, and you just
> need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on
> someone you know. Take it out on a total stranger.
>
> The idea started out one day when I was sitting at my
> desk and remembered a phone call I had forgotten to
> make. I found the number and dialed it.
>
> A man answered, saying, "Hello" I politely said, "This is Chris, may I
> speak to Robyn Carter?"
>
> Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me.
>
> I couldn't believe someone could be so rude.
>
> I tracked down Robyn's correct number and called her.
> I had transposed the last two digits of her phone
> number. When I hung up with Robyn, I decided to call
> the 'wrong' number again.
>
> When the same fellow answered the call, I yelled "You're
> an asshole" and hung up.
>
> I wrote his number down, with the word 'asshole' next
> to it and put it in my desk drawer.
>
> Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or
> generally had a bad day, I would call him and yell,
> "You're an asshole". It always cheered me up.
>
> When caller I.D. came to my area, I thought my
> therapeutic 'Asshole' calling would have to stop.
>
> So I called his number and said, "Hi, I'm John Smith
> from the telephone company. I'm just calling to see if
> your interested in the caller I.D. program?"
>
> He yelled "No" and slammed the phone down.
>
> I quickly rang him back and said "that's because your
> an Asshole!"
>
> One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into
> a parking spot.
>
> Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the
> spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled to him that I
> had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a 'For
> Sale' sign in his car window and so I wrote down the number.
>
> A couple of days later, right after calling the first Asshole, (I now
> had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW
> asshole too.
>
> I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
>
> "Yes it is" came the reply.
>
> "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
>
> "Yes, I live at 1802 West, 34th Street. It is a yellow
> house, and the car is parked right out in front".
>
> "What is your name?" I asked.
>
> "My name is Don Hansen" he replied.
>
> "When is a good time to catch you Don?"
>
> "I'm home every evening after five".
>
> "Listen Don, can I tell you something?"
>
> "Yes?"
>
> "Don, your an asshole!" and hung up. Now when I have a
> problem, I had two assholes to call.
>
> I put his number in the speed dial.
>
> I came up with an idea. I called asshole #1.
>
> "Hello"
>
> "Your an asshole!" (but I did not hang up).
>
> "Are you still there?" he asked.
>
> "Yeah"
>
> "Stop calling me!" he screamed down the phone.
>
> "Make me"
>
> "Who are you?" he yelled.
>
> "My name is Don Hansen"
>
> "Yeah? Where do you live?"
>
> "Asshole, I live at 1802 West, 34th Street, yellow house, with my black
> BMW parked out in front.
>
> He said, "I coming over right now. Don, you had better
> start saying your prayers!"
>
> "Yeah, like I am really scared, asshole".
>
> Then I called asshole #2.
>
> "Hello", he said.
>
> "Hello asshole" I said.
>
> "If I ever find out who you are" he yelled.
>
> "You'll what?" I said.
>
> "I'll kick your butt so hard" he exclaimed.
>
> I answered, "Well asshole, here's your chance. I'm
> coming over right now"
>
> Then I hung up and rang the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West,
> 34th Street and that I was on the way over there to kill my gay lover.
>
> Then I hung up and rang Channel 3 about the drug gang
> war that was in progress at 1802 West, 34th Street.
>
> Then I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th
> Street. There I saw two assholes beating the crap of
> each other in front of five squad cars, a police helicopter and a news
> crew.
>
>
> Now, I feel better.
>
> Anger Management that really works! Not recommended. Don't try this at
> home. Have a nice day!