>>An Aussie died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St.Peter at the >>Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. >> >>He asked, "What are all those clocks?" >> >>St. Peter answered. "Those are Lie-clocks. Everyone on earth has a lie >>clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move." >> >>"Oh" said the man "whose clock is that?" >> >>"That's Mother Teresa"s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she >>never told a lie." >> >>"Incredible" said the man. "And whose clock is that one?" >> >>St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved >>twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life" >> >>"Where's John Howard's clock" asked the man. >>"John Howard's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."