I'll settle for two out of three February 19 | Peter Gardiner http://www.thedaily.com.au/blogs/spray/2009/feb/19/two-out-of-three/ Roll the interview tape please: "David Gallop, NRL CEO, welcome to the Spray and the 2009 season." DG: "My pleasure." TS: "Before we move onto matters league, what did you think of the cricket this summer?" DG: "Pathetic. How can it claim to be the national sport when the Aussies struggle to beat New Zealand the Chappell-Hadlee Trophy!" TS: "A bit like our World Cup capitulation really, only the cricketers got lucky with a Gabba cloudburst and retained the trophy." DG: "Yes aren't those Wallabies patheticÃ¢Â€Â¦the only thing they've got going for them is Robbie Deans and he turns out to be not as smart as we thought. We offer him the Kangaroos coaching job and he turns us down. The arrogance of those Kiwis. They probably think they're the reigning rugby league world champions." TS: "They are aren't they, thanks to Billy's world's best rugby league blunder?" DG: "I don't want to go into that, I've got an NRL powder keg I need to keep a lid on for the whole season." TS: "So how's it shaping up?" DG: "Excellent. No one's been shot yet and we're installing metal detectors and body frisks at the all Manly board meetings to ensure it stays that way. We hear one of the feuding co-owners is a fan of Underbelly, while the other knows where the bodies are buried." TS: "What will you do if the 2008 premiers fold mid-season?" DG: "Slip the Sunshine Coast Sea Eagles into their jerseys and hope nobody notices. They've been whinging about a stadiumÃ¢Â€Â¦ we'll give them Brookvale Oval." TS: "How's the salary cap, coming along?" DG: "Never been better - what with the world financial crisis - the player managers have gone from demanding caviar for their clients instead of oranges at half time, to queuing up for food stamps after the players cut them adrift. Should be a good year, although I believe the Melbourne Storm Financial investment portfolio took a big hit on the futures market - they invested everything they had on Sportsbet to beat Manly in the grand final. No wonder coach Craig is crankier than ever." TS: "If you could wish for three things this year, what would they be?" DG: "All rugby league players to develop a severe allergy to alcohol and women in bars, any legal misunderstandings involving players to by-pass the courts and go straight to the league judiciary and for Wayne Bennett to fall in love with the Sydney media. I'll settle for two out of three."