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Having troubles at home??

Nutzcraw

Active Member
Joined
Oct 5, 2005
Messages
4,826
If your having troubles at home, the reason may well be that you haven't followed these 20 simple steps:

1 . When she asks how she looks - shrug and say "could be better" . This
will keep her on her toes and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness.
Alternatively, if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard
until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man
you are.

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are
like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she
is, say you better be. Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will
show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her
fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement and every
girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. Then ,
when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because
jewelry is for pussies and Asian ladies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure shes looking. When she
is, stare into her eyes mouth the words "f *ck you" and grab the other
girls ass. Girls love competition.

8. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those
special nicknames.

9. Warm her up when shes cold...and not by giving her your jacket...
because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if
you don't stop whinging about the cold right now you're going to be
whinging about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

10. Take her to a party. When you get there shell have to go to the
bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the
party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the
party.

11. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick
the pet. I always find stuff like that funny Why shouldn't girls?

12. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her
self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep
down desires to be.

13. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes,
earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the
pair. This way she'll go crazy.

14. Give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on
it. but not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking
about.

15. T!tty twisters and plenty of them.

16. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no.
This way she'll think you're mysterious.

17. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material
objects aren't important. The only thing thats important is that she keeps
you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

18. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just
whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's
coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present
visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that
much but I think it's funny.

19. If shes mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise
her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make
sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her that when you call you're
going to tell her of a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited.
Now don't call.

20. Next time you are having sex, make sure you get off before she does,
then get off her and leave. Girls love that.
 

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