Funnies -> chuk in your own

[Dan]

How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught fire.

 

[Dan]

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.

 

[clontaago]

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.

 

[The Fonz]

Why did timmy fall off the swing?
Because of multiple bullet wounds to the chest.

 

[PJ]

How do you get a women off during sex?
Give her a shove!

 

[clontaago]

Nice one Fonz!

 

[PJ]

A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police. The copper approaches him and politely asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?"
"Why?" snorts the man. "Is there a fat chick in my car?"

 

[Dan]

PJ nice and i like your train of thought!

 

[PJ]

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh

 

[Dan]

Because I am a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about, especially while driving quietly. The answer is always either sex or football, though I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't.

 

[PJ]

On a cold, cold night two bulls are standing in a field. One says "Boy it's mighty cold out here!", the other says "Yes, I think I might slip into a nice Jersey".

 

[PJ]

If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster. What would you have?
2 ft. of my cock in your ass.

 

[PJ]

What's slimy cold long and smells like pork
Kermit the frogs finger

 

[PJ]

what is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?
Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12

 

[Dan]

there are 2 cows in a paddock. one of them raises its head and says
"Mooooo"

The other one turns to him and says
"**** I was going to say that!"

 

[PJ]

Two eggs boiling in a pan, one male and one female.
The female egg says "Look, I've got a crack"
"No good telling me" replies the male egg "I'm not hard yet"

 

[PJ]

Q. What do a gynocologist and a pizza boy have in common?
A. They can smell it but they cant eat it!

 

[PJ]

Q. What does a dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs ???......
A. A clit around the ear and a flap across the face

 

[Nutzcraw]

Q. - what do you do when your missus is annoying ya while you watch the footy??

A. - Take her back to the sink and shorten the chain!

 

[PJ]

Q. What's the last thing that goes through a fly's mind when it hits a windscreen?
A. It's arse!