Well I'm sure some of you have heard these before (esp. the coco pop one) but hey its Friday we need to laugh....
JOKE1
A teacher asked her class to use the word "contagious in" a sentence.
Ronald the class swot, gets up and says,
"Last year i got the measles and my Mum said it was contagious."
"Well done, Ronald" says the teacher. "Can anyone else try?"
Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails , says
"My grandma says there's a bug going around, and it's contagious."
"Well done, Katie" says the teacher, "Anyone else?"
Little Irish Shaun jumps up and says in a broad Irish voice,
"Out next door neighbour is painting his house with a two-inch brush and my dad says it will take the contagious"
JOKE2
An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in Sydney with 2000 yen and walked out with $72
The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen and was handed $66, so he asked the teller why he got less money then the previous week.
The teller replied, "Fluctuations."
The Asian man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, he turned around and shouted,
"Fluc you Aussies too!"
JOKE3
A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.
"You know what", says the 7 year old, "I think it's about time we start swearing."
The 4 year old nods his head in approval. "When we go down stairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, OK"?
"OK" the 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast.
"Oh, **** mum, i guess I'll have some Coco Pops"
WHACK!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out. She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?!
I don't know", he blubbers, "but you can bet your ****in' ass it wont be Coco Pops".
JOKE1
A teacher asked her class to use the word "contagious in" a sentence.
Ronald the class swot, gets up and says,
"Last year i got the measles and my Mum said it was contagious."
"Well done, Ronald" says the teacher. "Can anyone else try?"
Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails , says
"My grandma says there's a bug going around, and it's contagious."
"Well done, Katie" says the teacher, "Anyone else?"
Little Irish Shaun jumps up and says in a broad Irish voice,
"Out next door neighbour is painting his house with a two-inch brush and my dad says it will take the contagious"
JOKE2
An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in Sydney with 2000 yen and walked out with $72
The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen and was handed $66, so he asked the teller why he got less money then the previous week.
The teller replied, "Fluctuations."
The Asian man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, he turned around and shouted,
"Fluc you Aussies too!"
JOKE3
A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.
"You know what", says the 7 year old, "I think it's about time we start swearing."
The 4 year old nods his head in approval. "When we go down stairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, OK"?
"OK" the 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast.
"Oh, **** mum, i guess I'll have some Coco Pops"
WHACK!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out. She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?!
I don't know", he blubbers, "but you can bet your ****in' ass it wont be Coco Pops".
