Dogs v Cats

Discussion in 'General Discussion Forum' started by PJ, Jun 29, 2006.

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  1. PJ

    By:PJJun 29, 2006
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    I don't like cats so I found this funny!

    THE DOG'S DIARY:

    7 am- Oh boy! A walk! My favourite!

    8 am- Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!

    9 am- Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!

    Noon- Oh boy! The yard! My favourite!

    2 pm- Oh boy! A car ride! My favourite!

    3 pm- Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!

    4 pm- Oh boy! Playing ball! My favourite!

    6 pm- Oh boy! Welcome home Mum! My favourite!

    7 pm- Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favourite!

    8 pm- Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!

    9 pm- Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favourite!

    11 pm- Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favourite!


    THE CAT'S DIARY:

    Day 183 of my captivity...

    My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
    The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

    Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
    they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top
    of the stairs.

    In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair - must try this on their bed.

    Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what good
    little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.

    There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
    solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called
    "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

    I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

    The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait. It's only a matter of time.
     
  2. Dan

    By:DanJun 29, 2006
    Kim Jong Dan
    Staff Member Administrator 2018 Tipping Competitor

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    lol nice!
     
  3. Fluffy

    By:FluffyJun 29, 2006
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    love it

    cats are evil
     
  4. Matabele

    By:MatabeleJun 29, 2006
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    I guess that means feline = feminine.

    canine = masculine.
     
  5. Garts

    By:GartsJun 29, 2006
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    any man who likes cats I worry about.
     
  6. clontaago

    By:clontaagoJun 30, 2006
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    I like cats
     
  7. earl

    By:earlJun 30, 2006
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    Yeah me too, just the ones that live in Africa.
     
  8. PJ

    By:PJJun 30, 2006
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    I like monkeys
     
  9. Matabele

    By:MatabeleJun 30, 2006
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    Shouldn't you boys be at:

    www.bestiality.com
     
  10. PJ

    By:PJJun 30, 2006
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    ****...I hope hope those Beastiality pop ups stop soon on the work computer....I should've known!
     
  11. Matabele

    By:MatabeleJun 30, 2006
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    Is it an actual site?
     
  12. PJ

    By:PJJun 30, 2006
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    I don't know- from the home page it looked pretty farking real and before I could exit I already had five pop-ups fire out at me...haven't had anymore though!
     
  13. clontaago

    By:clontaagoJun 30, 2006
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    Did the "pop-up" come from underneath your desk Pete?
     
  14. Matabele

    By:MatabeleJun 30, 2006
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    I didn't think they'd be that brazen.

    Apologies....
     
  15. PJ

    By:PJJun 30, 2006
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    na- no need for apologies- no one goes on my computer except me anyway....and they only came up straight away then stopped.
    As for the pop ups coming from under my desk well I've decided to leave that comment- all the come backs I thought of are really sick ones!
     
  16. earl

    By:earlJul 1, 2006
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    i didnt think we were allowed to advertise our personell websites.
     
  17. Garts

    By:GartsJul 1, 2006
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    and penis I assume
     
  18. Matabele

    By:MatabeleJul 2, 2006
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    i didnt think we were allowed to advertise our personell websites.

    [/quote]
    Are you suggesting I employ dogs?
     
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