Bulldogs reveal plans to poach Brookvale Oval, Manly Beach and Cherry-Evans’ hyphen

[Captain Moondog]

(I got this from www.ozcardtrader.com.au sorry if has already been posted )

Written by The Ball Boys
Fresh after signing Manly Sea Eagles coach Des Hasler and possibly several support staff and star players, Canterbury Bankstown CEO Todd Greenberg has shockingly revealed further plans to poach iconic Manly figures like Brookvale Oval, Manly Beach and even Daly Cherry-Evans’ hyphen.
The Hasler signing has shocked Manly and blowdryer fans around the globe, and it seemed things couldn’t get any worse for the Northern Beaches club when strong rumours emerged over the weekend that the man many call “Des” would be taking with him his entire support staff, as well as several key players such as Kieran Foran, Tony Williams, the Stewart brothers and Cliff Lyons, the last of whom is planning to come out of retirement pending the successful birth of his 3rd great-grandchild.
But Canterbury don’t seem finished there, and Greenberg explained that his spending spree was part of a strategic 5 day plan.
“For us, signing Manly’s coach, their support staff and their players, is only the tip of the Greenberg”, Iceberg stated to a packed media contingent at a local Lakemba kebab store. “Our strategic 5 day plan has been in the works for several months now, and we feel that bringing across Manly’s oval as well as their main tourist attraction would not only strengthen our premiership claims, but also force Sea Eagles fans to find somewhere else to drunkenly urinate whilst dancing to hit 1971 Daddy Cool song ‘Eagle Rock’.”
Perhaps the biggest surprise though is the possible stealing of boom halfback Daly Cherry-Evans’ hyphen, with Greenberg admitting he’s been hugely impressed this season with the surname’s form. “I honestly think that double-barrelled surname has been one of the finds of the season, and adding that hyphen to our roster could only help the players even more”, Greenberg continued. “Imagine a squad with names like Ben Bar-ba, Josh Morr-is, Trent Hodkinso-n, we’d be unstoppable.”
Asked how he would look to utilise Brookvale Stadium and Manly beach in Belmore, Greenberg stated that while “nothing was set in concrete”, they’d be looking to move both to Homebush and “surround them with concrete”.

There were also rumors that Des Hasler's hairdressers will follow Des to the Campsie K9's along with the ground announcer & the canteen lady on the family hill. The Stewart boys are in a tug of war between the Wallabies & the Socceroos.

Curiouser and Curiouser.

 

[Phantar]

I heard a rumour that Grant Goldman may be heading to the Cats 'n Dogs club. Apparently they want a new ground announcer.

I can hear it now:

'Burqaaaaaaaaa!'

 

[Captain Moondog]

They can happily poach Warm Beer on the Hill from Manly. Then we can sign up Cold Beer, I here he's much better.

Saw a band called Free Beer once. They pulled a big crowd. Everybody left after the first song though, I think the poster was misleading.

 

[Matabele]

They couldn't take Byso as their chief photographer of cheerleaders could they?