Bowel Screening

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eagle66

Bencher
Got my free bowel screening pack from the Governement the other day.
Asked the wife what should I do with this?
1. open the envelope you dumbarse
2. poke the stick in your **** today
3. poke the stick in your **** tomorrow
4. send it off.

So the only **** I found was what the wife served up on the plate. Took a sample from that as per her instructions. Did the same the next day

Got the results back. Some concerns as result 1 showed arsenic traces and result 2 had high levels of bleach.
 
Got my free bowel screening pack from the Governement the other day.
Asked the wife what should I do with this?
1. open the envelope you dumbarse
2. poke the stick in your **** today
3. poke the stick in your **** tomorrow
4. send it off.

So the only **** I found was what the wife served up on the plate. Took a sample from that as per her instructions. Did the same the next day

Got the results back. Some concerns as result 1 showed arsenic traces and result 2 had high levels of bleach.
What , no old lace also . You got off lightly but you should have been a shining light with the bleach .
 
Not that I’m an expert, as I haven’t tried it, but I‘ve heard that when you want to bleach you arse, you apply the bleach externally; maybe you should ask your wife to try it that way.
 
Got my free bowel screening pack from the Governement the other day.
Asked the wife what should I do with this?
1. open the envelope you dumbarse
2. poke the stick in your **** today
3. poke the stick in your **** tomorrow
4. send it off.

So the only **** I found was what the wife served up on the plate. Took a sample from that as per her instructions. Did the same the next day

Got the results back. Some concerns as result 1 showed arsenic traces and result 2 had high levels of bleach.
Well stating the bloody obvious here, the missus doesn't know exactly what she's doing. By any chance is she blonde? Tell to try antifreeze next time :lipssealed::lipssealed::lipssealed:
 
Got my free bowel screening pack from the Governement the other day.
Asked the wife what should I do with this?
1. open the envelope you dumbarse
2. poke the stick in your **** today
3. poke the stick in your **** tomorrow
4. send it off.

So the only **** I found was what the wife served up on the plate. Took a sample from that as per her instructions. Did the same the next day

Got the results back. Some concerns as result 1 showed arsenic traces and result 2 had high levels of bleach.
bleaching of the arse, nic players do it regularly for him
 
This reminds me of Bobby Lulham, Balmain and Australian test player who was having an affair with his mother-in-law in 1950's then the mother-in-law was poisoning him.
Excerpt from Wikipedia.
In 1953, Lulham was in the headlines after his mother-in-law, Veronica Mabel Monty, with whom he was having a sexual relationship, was charged with attempting to poison him with thallium.[4][5][6] At the time Monty was living with her daughter and son-in-law following separation from her husband. In the end, the verdict was 'not guilty'. However, Judith Lulham divorced him over his admission during the trial of "intimacies" with Monty.[4] Lulham never played football again.
 
We lost our son in law at 39.

From at least 40 do it annually , it could well save your life !!

If you have any family history it should be done annually from about 25.
I'm 35 and just had my entire bowel out due to a huge number of polyps and what turned out to be a stage 2a tumour. If I'd held out much longer getting checked I would have been a goner. No family history either. Worth getting checked!
 
I'm 35 and just had my entire bowel out due to a huge number of polyps and what turned out to be a stage 2a tumour. If I'd held out much longer getting checked I would have been a goner. No family history either. Worth getting checked!

Good work , Mick was diagnosed at 35, dead at 39 + 360 days
 
Can't find a sad react, so sorry for your loss :(

Yes it was a tough 5 years , and more so for our daughter who was basically his carer , whilst working and raising their boys.

We spent an enormous amount of time travelling from Brisbane to help them out but that’s what you do for family!!
 
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