Alpha magazine hilarity

[Matabele]

From this year's edition:

Orford's expert kicking game will pay plenty of bills for the Raiders until Campo gets back.  (My comment: Assuming the ball has a biro point and the bills are lined up beyond the dead ball line).

Josh Perry's departure leaves a big gap in the forwards. (My comment: None more so than the big gaps he's left for the opposition to run through every game for the last two years.)

Have added skillful Adam Cuthbertson to the pack.  (My comment: Clearly St George have no intention of breaking the repeat Premiership hoodoo anytime soon).

Trent Hodkinson must avoid second year syndrome while adjusting to leading a new team around the park.  (My comment: Has he yet led a team around the park?  Maybe up the garden path).

JWH turned some heads last year with his fearsome defense. (My comment:  Sorry, we must have all been looking the other way).

Gained three gifted ball players in Mateo, Inu and Berrigan.  (My comment: One day they'll work out they are supposed to handle the football, not their own).

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And finally an interesting stat:

Average attendance at NRL games last year 17,367 putting it 21st on the world league table of average attendances.

Super 14 average attendance 25,374 and 11th on the world league table. 

 

[Rex]

More of a lampoon, with elements of pasquinade, than satire

 

[Darren]

Didn't they do any of our players? why aren't we in there, Foran, Hoppa, Cunningham etc I'm sick of reading about Carney, Benji, etc

 

[Chip and Chase]

Darren our players are too old and slow for feature articles.

I have had cause to chuckle on many occassions at those "experts" who think that Matt Orford is going to lead Canberra to the promised land.

As for Cuthbo, I have a little niggle in my mind that he might go alright at the Dragons. He was always a confidence player and a coach like Des or Ricky Stuart was never going to suit that, whereas Bennett always seems to get the best out of players with his ability to nuture and instill some self belief. Wouldn't be surprised to see him have a good year.

 

[The Eagle]

C&C Promised land perhaps not but better than 7th,without a doubt

 

[eagles2win]

Now Mata would you like to leave a comment about a U20 League game out rating a test match in Union on foxtel?

 

[Jatz Crackers]

Trent Hodkinson must avoid second year syndrome while adjusting to leading a new team around the park.  (My comment: Has he yet led a team around the park?  Maybe up the garden path).

He did lead a team around the park. SCSE to a premiership. The very thing that propelled him into the NRL.

 

[Captain of the Gate]

I just saw Dessie flicking through Alpha at Dee Why Coles, wonder if he had th same thoughts

 

[Matabele]

Now Mata would you like to leave a comment about a U20 League game out rating a test match in Union on foxtel?

The game is too complicated for convict to understand.

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[quote author=Matabele link=topic=186548.msg317772#msg317772 date=1298634483]
Trent Hodkinson must avoid second year syndrome while adjusting to leading a new team around the park.  (My comment: Has he yet led a team around the park?  Maybe up the garden path).

He did lead a team around the park. SCSE to a premiership. The very thing that propelled him into the NRL.
[/quote] Wow.  A legend in the Queensland Cup, like Squasher hey?

 

[TokyoEagle]

I was a free settler, Mata. I am smart enough to understand the intricacies of Union?

 

[The Gronk]

[quote author=Ant80 link=topic=186548.msg317977#msg317977 date=1298712865]
Now Mata would you like to leave a comment about a U20 League game out rating a test match in Union on foxtel?

The game is too complicated for convict to understand.

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[quote author=Matabele link=topic=186548.msg317772#msg317772 date=1298634483]
Trent Hodkinson must avoid second year syndrome while adjusting to leading a new team around the park.  (My comment: Has he yet led a team around the park?  Maybe up the garden path).

He did lead a team around the park. SCSE to a premiership. The very thing that propelled him into the NRL.
[/quote] Wow.  A legend in the Queensland Cup, like Squasher hey?
[/quote]

Hold the ball within kicking range until you receive a penalty.  Real complicated. 

Union is a funny game.  Fantastic at amateur level, boring at elite level. 

 

[SeaEagleRock8]

No-one understands Union. It is beyond the capacity of the human brain to know all the rules. Crouch touch engage they have got to be kidding. I'd love to know the percentage of scrums that are completed without being stopped re-set penalised etc.

 

[Jatz Crackers]

Wow.  A legend in the Queensland Cup, like Squasher hey?

Now who didnt love Squasher ?

 

[Matabele]

No-one understands Union. It is beyond the capacity of the human brain to know all the rules. Crouch touch engage they have got to be kidding. I'd love to know the percentage of scrums that are completed without being stopped re-set penalised etc.

Union is a simple game, it's the referees that are complicated.

 

[TokyoEagle]

I was a free settler, Mata. I am smart enough to understand the intricacies of Union?

Sorry, that was meant to say    AM I .......?