A comparison of NRL footy teams to their female equivalent

First Grader
Melbourne Storm - Delta Goodrem. Tidy, attractive, professional and uncontroversial. Nice to look at, but for some reason just makes you want to yawn.

St George -Illawarra Dragons - Elle MacPherson. Past her glorious best but still easy on the eye and an old favourite with most.

Souths Rabbitohs - Whitney Houston. Has not looked after herself in
recent years and has gone completely off the rails.

Sydney Roosters - Amelie Mauresmo. Last woman on Earth scenario : you still wouldn't.

Parramatta Eels - Katie Holmes. Has a certifiable psycho in charge of her every move. Has lost credibility in recent times.

Wests Tigers - Britney Spears. At times can look stunning, at others It can get ugly.

Canterbury Bulldogs - Christina Aguilera. Looks like she enjoys it rough and dirty.

NZ Warriors - Paris Hilton. Lays down way too easily.

Canberra Raiders - Princess Diana. May be a blue blood, but hasn't done anything for a while.

Brisbane Broncos - Madonna. Also past her glorious best, but refuses to accept it gracefully.

Cronulla Sharks - Jenna Jamieson. Can cop a pounding and keep coming back for more.

Penrith Panthers - Krystal from Big Brother. Has the biggest and best assets going around, but we all know they're not the real deal.

North Queensland Cowboys - J-Lo. Quality all over, but especially good down back.

Newcastle - Kylie Minogue. Very decent despite not having much up front.

Gold Coast Titans - The Olsen Twins. Not ready to go yet but shaping quite well.

Manly Sea Eagles - Rikki Lake. Everyone used to hate her but now she is met with little more than indifference.


Kim Jong Dan
Staff member
Tipping Member
titans one is fantastic. but I think we can do better than that.

Manly = Riki lake please!
Manly = Mariah Carey past champion who lost a bit of "Glitter" and looked to be gone but now back better than ever with some major enhancements.
Journey Man
I was also going to say, you'd never get in bed with Condaleeze Rice.

The Roosters would be Lindsay Lohan - well known for partying and being famous for being famous, but haven't acheived anything of note in the past two years.
Journey Man
Manly Martina Hingis - dominant in the 1990s, dissapeared from view for several years and now struggling to come back with an underpowered front end.


Souths: Anna Nicole Smith- everyone would be happy is she just went away and if it wasn't for rich backers she wouldn't be anyone!


Newcastle: Florence Griffith Joyner....she has the medals (had she dead now) but we still know she cheated!
Journey Man
Norths - Chloe Jones. Could never quite make it to the top of the tree, was constantly getting beaten by her neighbour and no longer exists.

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