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Friday - Thoughts for the Day

Discussion in 'General Discussion Forum' started by Canteen Worker, Oct 14, 2005.

  1. Canteen Worker

    Canteen Worker Well-Known Member 2016 Tipping Competitor

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    THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN: by Dave Barry, Nationally
    Syndicated Columnist

    1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative
    on the same night.

    2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race
    has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word
    would be "meetings."

    3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

    4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never
    want you to share yours with them.

    5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

    6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

    7. Never lick a steak knife.

    8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

    9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling
    reason why we observe daylight savings time.

    10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
    that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging
    from her at that moment.

    11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to
    make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

    12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
    gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep
    down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

    13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice
    person (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

    14. Your friends love you anyway.

    15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur
    built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

    16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine.. They start out as
    grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until
    they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

    FINAL THOUGHT FOR THE DAY :

    There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagraa than on
    Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2030, there should be a large
    elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no
    recollection of what to do with them.
     
  2. Canteen Worker

    Canteen Worker Well-Known Member 2016 Tipping Competitor

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    Number 11 is a good one for Daniel!!! :lol:
     
  3. Corso Jan

    Corso Jan New Member

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    I like the last one,it is really funny :clap:
     
  4. Dan

    Dan Administrator Staff Member Administrator 2016 Tipping Competitor

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    im not 1 yet!... theres a difference between. make a big deal and dont give me **** on that day!
     
  5. Narcissus

    Narcissus Member

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    And yet on the other thread, you keep talking about getting Vicky to get you a BBQ....
     
  6. Dan

    Dan Administrator Staff Member Administrator 2016 Tipping Competitor

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    yeah, I wanted prices for BBQ o I could justify it....meh I cant be bothered. I am trying to explain to some people that it isnt possible to drive within the speed limit and go from sydney to Byron bay in 6 mayber 7 hours. But they think they can do it no worries. Oh well I have just said"I told you so" so I dont have to say it later, its a 9 hours at least trip
     
  7. Fluffy

    Fluffy Well-Known Member

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    maybe they are doing it at daylight savings changeover so they get the extra hour
     
  8. Garts

    Garts Well-Known Member

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    6 or 7 hrs to Byron, pfftt. someone must be telling porkies!!!
     
  9. Utility Player

    Utility Player Well-Known Member

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    Its only 30 minutes for some :dance:
     
  10. Narcissus

    Narcissus Member

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    UP: That little dancing smilie looks like it's a good thing to be that close...

    I'm a good 20 hour flight away from that place, and it's still not far enough!

    No offence to anyone, but I really don't see the attraction to Byron... it has the same one redeeming feature that Mosman has: a decent road outta there!
     
  11. Dan

    Dan Administrator Staff Member Administrator 2016 Tipping Competitor

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    Its abunch of girls who have never driven there, Vicky is telling them that it is a mathematical impossibility and they called her stupid.

    800Km at an average of 100KMPh = 8 hours pity there is no way they will average 100KMH and they want to stop along the way.

    silly silly people!
     
  12. Utility Player

    Utility Player Well-Known Member

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    Sometimes Narcissus (school holidays especially), I prefer Lennox Head myself.
     

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