[Resurrected] Jarryd Hayne, the (forgotten) locked up man

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Can someone help a brother out please and tell.me what exactly was said in this conversation? Is it English? If i didn't know it was 2 men in their 30's i would guess it was a pair of 10 year old....
FFS.....

PHONE CALL BETWEEN HAYNE AND PEARCE REVEALED

HAYNE: Hey bro, what’s doing?

PEARCE: What are you doing, brother?

HAYNE: (Chuckles) Oh ...

PEARCE: You under the pump?

HAYNE: Hey?

PEARCE: Who’s this sheila coming out saying something about ya?

HAYNE: Oh she’s, f**k, she’s from Newie, bro

PEARCE: Newie?

HAYNE: Full-blown weirdo. Yeah.

PEARCE: What, who, who is she? Are you under the pump?

HAYNE: Yeah. Ask, you know what, ask your boys if you – there’s a couple of your boys might know her, bro. F**kin’...

PEARCE: What’s, what’s her name, bro?

HAYNE: I’ll have a look. It’s (says name)

PEARCE: (Woman’s name.) I’ll ask the boys. What, did you put it on her on Instagram and she wigged out, or you hooked up with her?

HAYNE: Nah. She was just sending me all these, all these nude snaps, bro, on Snapchat and that wanting...

PEARCE: Yeah?

HAYNE: … (Stutters) wanting to link up, link up; said “yeah, yeah”. Then I was in Newie, I was like, oh, I’ll pop in on the way home. So I did that and then f**kin she was filthy cause the cab was out the front. I said, “Oh well, mate, I’m only going to be here for, you know, (laughs) a short time.” She just …

PEARCE: Yeah

HAYNE: Wigged out. And then, um, went – like I watched a bit of the grand final with her old girl. (Laughs)

PEARCE: Yeah

HAYNE: Come, come back and we were just fooling around and she like, she like bled a little bit. It was weird.

PEARCE: Yeah

HAYNE: I was like f**k …

PEARCE: And then she wigged out and that … going on …

HAYNE: Then, then she just wigged out. I said, “Listen, nah you’re sweet.” I said, “F**kin my like my fingernail must have clipped you, that’s all.” There was …

PEARCE: Yeah

HAYNE: … nothing major. Like, it was just a little bit. Full wigged out. Said, “Nah, nah, it’s sweet, sweet.” So we watched a bit of, um, bit of like, um, like f**kin music videos and that. I was like “Oh, OK, I’d, I’d better go now,” rah-rah-rah. And then she was just like filthy that I left her there. (Laughs) I was like, what the f**k?

PEARCE: And then, what, she just wigged, wigged out and called the papers and that.

HAYNE: Yeah bro. Just today, trying to say that I was aggressive and she said, “No, no, no.” I’m like, nate, f**k, I didn’t get my pants off. Like, what the f**k?

PEARCE: What …

HAYNE: Oh, bro

PEARCE: distorted transmission … Yeah have you got a lawyer and that?

HAYNE: Yeah, yeah, nah, I spoke to my lawyer and that. Oh mate, I’ll, I’ll, I’ll get her in defamation easy. Like …

PEARCE: Yeah

HAYNE: Bro. Full-blown – like the next, the next day she was trying to message, message me going, you know, “I’m in the park, this that.” I’m going “Mate, f**kin” …

PEARCE: I’m what?

HAYNE: “I’m in a park by myself. I don’t feel safe.” I’m like (laughs) what the f**k?

PEARCE: Trying to wig you out and that?

HAYNE: Oy, bro, I’ve got to go, bro. My lawyer’s calling me. I’ve got to go.

PEARCE: Yeah, when are you up in Newie next, bro? We’ll catch up. When you around?

HAYNE: Oh, I’ll let you know, brother, I’ll let you know.

PEARCE: All right bro. Look after yourself. See ya bro.

HAYNE: All right ledge. Bye-bye.
 
I think Jarred and Mitch watched a bit too much of these blokes, going by that convo.


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I have attempted translation:

PHONE CALL BETWEEN HAYNE AND PEARCE REVEALED


HAYNE: Hey bro, what’s doing?

Hello Mitchel. What activities have you been partaking in today?

PEARCE: What are you doing, brother?

Id rather not divulge my movements but how about we chat about you my good friend....

HAYNE: (Chuckles) Oh ...

Well things have been better....

PEARCE: You under the pump?

Are you in trouble?

HAYNE: Hey?

Why are you asking good friend?

PEARCE: Who’s this sheila coming out saying something about ya?

Who is this young lady thats come out and made accusations about you Jared?

HAYNE: Oh she’s, f**k, she’s from Newie, bro

Just a young Newcastle local I met the other week.

PEARCE: Newie?

From Newcastle! really?

HAYNE: Full-blown weirdo. Yeah.

After conversing with her over snapchat and Instagram i have decided shes a bit weird. Althou i loved the nude pictures she sent me,

PEARCE: What, who, who is she? Are you under the pump?

Do you even know her name? what have you done this time you big friendly bear....

HAYNE: Yeah. Ask, you know what, ask your boys if you – there’s a couple of your boys might know her, bro. F**kin’...

I have an idea. could you ask around if any of the boys know her or have had relations with her so i can attempt to sully her name in public will you?

PEARCE: What’s, what’s her name, bro?

You cant remember her name can you?

HAYNE: I’ll have a look. It’s (says name)

No i cant. let me just check Instagram. oh wow. its ,,,,,,,,, who would have guessed that?

PEARCE: (Woman’s name.) I’ll ask the boys. What, did you put it on her on Instagram and she wigged out, or you hooked up with her?

i will ask around for you because that's what brothers from different mothers do. Did you send her another dick pic?

HAYNE: Nah. She was just sending me all these, all these nude snaps, bro, on Snapchat and that wanting...

I dont send dick pics Mitchel! She just kept sending me naked photos of herself. I was like ergh. no more please....

PEARCE: Yeah?

Really. sounds horrible...

HAYNE: … (Stutters) wanting to link up, link up; said “yeah, yeah”. Then I was in Newie, I was like, oh, I’ll pop in on the way home. So I did that and then f**kin she was filthy cause the cab was out the front. I said, “Oh well, mate, I’m only going to be here for, you know, (laughs) a short time.” She just …

She wanted to meet up so i said of course. can i collect you at 7pm? I got to Newcastle a bit early and was busy so i said can i just pop by after I'm done at my event. so i booked a cab and as you know its a bugger to get a cab in Newcastle so i said to the cab to wait outside for me. xxxxxxx took it like i only wanted to have sexual relations and was very upset.

PEARCE: Yeah

Well i cant believe that.

HAYNE: Wigged out. And then, um, went – like I watched a bit of the grand final with her old girl. (Laughs)

I know yeah. so she was very upset and i thought i should leave the room for a moment so i went and spoke to her Mum thinking she might be interested in some boom boom. turns out she supports the roosters so that wasn't going to happen....

PEARCE: Yeah

Like yeah. perhaps i should pop round? How old was she?

HAYNE: Come, come back and we were just fooling around and she like, she like bled a little bit. It was weird.

After speaking to her mum i decided to apologise for acting all weird and went back to see her...

PEARCE: Yeah

You didnt?????

HAYNE: I was like f**k …

I felt ashamed of my behaviour so.....


PEARCE: And then she wigged out and that … going on …

You went to say sorry and she got all weird yes?

HAYNE: Then, then she just wigged out. I said, “Listen, nah you’re sweet.” I said, “F**kin my like my fingernail must have clipped you, that’s all.” There was …

EXACTLTY!
I made up a BS excuse about my fingernail and the manicure I had down at the Chinese place in Westfield.



PEARCE: Yeah

No way!

HAYNE: … nothing major. Like, it was just a little bit. Full wigged out. Said, “Nah, nah, it’s sweet, sweet.” So we watched a bit of, um, bit of like, um, like f**kin music videos and that. I was like “Oh, OK, I’d, I’d better go now,” rah-rah-rah. And then she was just like filthy that I left her there. (Laughs) I was like, what the f**k?

I realised id done a **** thing but couldn't bring myself to apologise. She had every right to be angry but given i have the mental age of a 6 month old i just tried to ignore her... lah lah lah lah lah lah... i think it worked well.

PEARCE: And then, what, she just wigged, wigged out and called the papers and that.

I have a feeling that perhaps it didn't go as well as you are making out. are the papers involved?

HAYNE: Yeah bro. Just today, trying to say that I was aggressive and she said, “No, no, no.” I’m like, nate, f**k, I didn’t get my pants off. Like, what the f**k?

They could be. I'm not sure as I've had my head buried up my own arse for so long I dont even know what day of the week it is. I cant have been a bad boy mummy as i didn't even get my little willy out. honestly.

PEARCE: What …

You didn't get it out? was there a dog in the house? i might visit...

HAYNE: Oh, bro

Mate. don't touch a pooch again brother you know once you start again you wont be able to stop....

PEARCE: distorted transmission … Yeah have you got a lawyer and that?

I can stop any time i like. well sort of. can i send you my lawyers details?

HAYNE: Yeah, yeah, nah, I spoke to my lawyer and that. Oh mate, I’ll, I’ll, I’ll get her in defamation easy. Like …

Ive thrown a load of cash at my scumbag lawyer already and he will make it go away like magic. he promised.

PEARCE: Yeah

Your F u c k e d.....

HAYNE: Bro. Full-blown – like the next, the next day she was trying to message, message me going, you know, “I’m in the park, this that.” I’m going “Mate, f**kin” …

The next day i tried to make it better. I even sent her a snapchat photo of my D1@k. that's sure to keep her happy.


PEARCE: I’m what?

Send it to me too brother. id like to see that....

HAYNE: “I’m in a park by myself. I don’t feel safe.” I’m like (laughs) what the f**k?

Im crying like a baby. im scared Mitch. hold me bro....

PEARCE: Trying to wig you out and that?

You stay strong mate. together we can get thru this.


HAYNE: Oy, bro, I’ve got to go, bro. My lawyer’s calling me. I’ve got to go.

I need to go. my Lawyer calling and he wants more cash.

PEARCE: Yeah, when are you up in Newie next, bro? We’ll catch up. When you around?

when you get out in 15 look me up mate. I wont be around and blank you but hey thats life bro...

HAYNE: Oh, I’ll let you know, brother, I’ll let you know.

Im so lucky to have a solid in my life like you Mitch.

PEARCE: All right bro. Look after yourself. See ya bro.

Damm right you half wit **** up. piss off...

HAYNE: All right ledge. Bye-bye.

See you soon dog boy. woof woof lick lick....
 
Can someone help a brother out please and tell.me what exactly was said in this conversation? Is it English? If i didn't know it was 2 men in their 30's i would guess it was a pair of 10 year old....
FFS.....

PHONE CALL BETWEEN HAYNE AND PEARCE REVEALED

HAYNE: Hey bro, what’s doing?

PEARCE: What are you doing, brother?

HAYNE: (Chuckles) Oh ...

PEARCE: You under the pump?

HAYNE: Hey?

PEARCE: Who’s this sheila coming out saying something about ya?

HAYNE: Oh she’s, f**k, she’s from Newie, bro

PEARCE: Newie?

HAYNE: Full-blown weirdo. Yeah.

PEARCE: What, who, who is she? Are you under the pump?

HAYNE: Yeah. Ask, you know what, ask your boys if you – there’s a couple of your boys might know her, bro. F**kin’...

PEARCE: What’s, what’s her name, bro?

HAYNE: I’ll have a look. It’s (says name)

PEARCE: (Woman’s name.) I’ll ask the boys. What, did you put it on her on Instagram and she wigged out, or you hooked up with her?

HAYNE: Nah. She was just sending me all these, all these nude snaps, bro, on Snapchat and that wanting...

PEARCE: Yeah?

HAYNE: … (Stutters) wanting to link up, link up; said “yeah, yeah”. Then I was in Newie, I was like, oh, I’ll pop in on the way home. So I did that and then f**kin she was filthy cause the cab was out the front. I said, “Oh well, mate, I’m only going to be here for, you know, (laughs) a short time.” She just …

PEARCE: Yeah

HAYNE: Wigged out. And then, um, went – like I watched a bit of the grand final with her old girl. (Laughs)

PEARCE: Yeah

HAYNE: Come, come back and we were just fooling around and she like, she like bled a little bit. It was weird.

PEARCE: Yeah

HAYNE: I was like f**k …

PEARCE: And then she wigged out and that … going on …

HAYNE: Then, then she just wigged out. I said, “Listen, nah you’re sweet.” I said, “F**kin my like my fingernail must have clipped you, that’s all.” There was …

PEARCE: Yeah

HAYNE: … nothing major. Like, it was just a little bit. Full wigged out. Said, “Nah, nah, it’s sweet, sweet.” So we watched a bit of, um, bit of like, um, like f**kin music videos and that. I was like “Oh, OK, I’d, I’d better go now,” rah-rah-rah. And then she was just like filthy that I left her there. (Laughs) I was like, what the f**k?

PEARCE: And then, what, she just wigged, wigged out and called the papers and that.

HAYNE: Yeah bro. Just today, trying to say that I was aggressive and she said, “No, no, no.” I’m like, nate, f**k, I didn’t get my pants off. Like, what the f**k?

PEARCE: What …

HAYNE: Oh, bro

PEARCE: distorted transmission … Yeah have you got a lawyer and that?

HAYNE: Yeah, yeah, nah, I spoke to my lawyer and that. Oh mate, I’ll, I’ll, I’ll get her in defamation easy. Like …

PEARCE: Yeah

HAYNE: Bro. Full-blown – like the next, the next day she was trying to message, message me going, you know, “I’m in the park, this that.” I’m going “Mate, f**kin” …

PEARCE: I’m what?

HAYNE: “I’m in a park by myself. I don’t feel safe.” I’m like (laughs) what the f**k?

PEARCE: Trying to wig you out and that?

HAYNE: Oy, bro, I’ve got to go, bro. My lawyer’s calling me. I’ve got to go.

PEARCE: Yeah, when are you up in Newie next, bro? We’ll catch up. When you around?

HAYNE: Oh, I’ll let you know, brother, I’ll let you know.

PEARCE: All right bro. Look after yourself. See ya bro.

HAYNE: All right ledge. Bye-bye.
This rubbed my face in the terrible truth that I support a game that pays people like dog boy and the plane more than any nuclear physicist could ever hope to earn. These two chess grand masters are a poor advertisement for the human race.
 
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