Embarrassing / goofy things I've done.

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So I was reading this book and there was a line in it: "It's well known that what really causes scurvy is onanism!"

The Captain replied: "Hey everyone, Wedge just made his first joke!"

So it was late and I was like: "I dunno what onanism means, I'll look it up tomorrow." I forgot and today we drove to my mother in laws place. Now she is pretty much a genius and science guru so I said:

"Hey mother in law, what does onanism mean?"

She laughed and replied: "It means to play with your penis!"

dear oh dear

@:blush:@:blush:@:blush:

Remember folks, always get your answers from google!
 
Even I'm too embarrassed to type how old I was before I realised Nutella would be delicious!

When I was a kid I saw the pic on the jar, it was just bread and nutella smeared on it and it looked so dry and well...yuck, so I just assumed I wouldn't like it.

Slow forward many, many , many years and I was like, 'Ummm this is just gunna be hazelnut chocolate, that sounds delicious!'

And it is.

So many lost years.


Also (this is more stupid than embarrassing, I guess) but my snow jacket is done so I ordered a new one from 'merica. All the reviews are great, etc. - Trew Capow jacket

When it gets here the box is real small which I think is unusual for a nice warm jacket.

Turns out I didn't read all the info properly, it was just a shell jacket, no insulation - it goes over the top of all your warm layers to protect you from wet snow, etc.

The second worse part, I had to pay $80 customs duty as canada hits you up for importing clothes.

The actual worst part...it was $372 AMERICAN!

fmd, like almost $500 for a raincoat???????
 
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I remember going for a swim in Brunswick Heads late one night after a big session at the pub. Naturally I decided not to put my clothes back on as I didn't have a towel. A police car pulled up as I was crossing the park on my way home. Luckily it was one of the local coppers and he just shook his head and drove on. I didn't get locked up and everything else is a bit of a blur.
 
I was just bragging to my partner about how good my non alcoholic beer turned out. After two pints I realised I had the taps mixed-up. Me: Sorry, I can't drive to the shops to get nappies now. Response; that's ok, you can still walk and take the kids with you.
Time for some more (full strength) beers now :)
 
Also (this is more stupid than embarrassing, I guess) but my snow jacket is done so I ordered a new one from 'merica. All the reviews are great, etc. - Trew Capow jacket

The second worse part, I had to pay $80 customs duty as canada hits you up for importing clothes.

The actual worst part...it was $372 AMERICAN!

fmd, like almost $500 for a raincoat???????

Update: - I just returned that mo-fo.

On top of the jacket, you'd need a midlayer ($150) to be even somewhat warm. So 500+80+150 = $730 = far far far too much to pay for a stuff up!

I feel better already!
 
Update: - I just returned that mo-fo.

On top of the jacket, you'd need a midlayer ($150) to be even somewhat warm. So 500+80+150 = $730 = far far far too much to pay for a stuff up!

I feel better already!
Reminds me of the time I asked the Ms to buy me a hiking mattress for Christmas and she instead ordered the compression sack for the mattress. We sent it back but not before she asked; if the bag is 60 bucks how f ing much was the mattress going to cost? (I still use a $5 piece of foam)
Last year her mother took a look at my Christmas list and decided to buy me a still attachment for my brewing equipment (there was no chance my partner would have bought it but I thought it was worth a shot). When she gave it to me she asked what it was for. I said; it's a still I will make whisky with it! She replied; oh, I wouldn't have gotten you it if I knew that was what it was for! I didn't send that one back though :)
 
Reminds me of the time I asked the Ms to buy me a hiking mattress for Christmas and she instead ordered the compression sack for the mattress. We sent it back but not before she asked; if the bag is 60 bucks how f ing much was the mattress going to cost? (I still use a $5 piece of foam)
Last year her mother took a look at my Christmas list and decided to buy me a still attachment for my brewing equipment (there was no chance my partner would have bought it but I thought it was worth a shot). When she gave it to me she asked what it was for. I said; it's a still I will make whisky with it! She replied; oh, I wouldn't have gotten you it if I knew that was what it was for! I didn't send that one back though :)

Psssh, tell her you can't give presents with conditions! I wonder what your m.i.l thought it was? Glad the foam worked out. I assume a hiking mattress is something that does the hiking for you and when it returns to camp you fall asleep on it after drinking too much home made whisky.
 
So the other day I order a pizza and when it arrives there's no toppings, no sauce, nothing...just a big old round crust.

After complaining to the company I went back to the box and realised ….

I'd accidentally opened it upside down!











Ok, ok I read that one but thought it was funny.........
 

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