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Wheres DSM5

Discussion in 'Rugby League Forum' started by The Wheel, Nov 16, 2009.

  1. The Wheel

    The Wheel Well-Known Member

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    Cmon you have been wining all year about Ox, now hes gone your not sighted off Nobbys.

    At least you could come on and gloat for a while.  :eek: 8)
     
  2. Cameron

    Cameron Cambo Premium Member

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    hes reaching for the tissues
    word is hes made on hell of a mess
     
  3. Garts

    Garts Well-Known Member

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    He is personally collecting the contract and hand delivering it to ensure Orford signs it.
     
  4. Kiwi Eagle

    Kiwi Eagle Moderator Staff Member 2016 Tipping Competitor

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    I think he is on his off season trip to China he regularly goes on

    He may be searching through China looking for the next manly half
     
  5. Jatz Crackers

    Jatz Crackers Moderator Staff Member

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    Or he could be searching through China for his next manly better half.
     
  6. PONTIAN SEA EAGLE

    PONTIAN SEA EAGLE Well-Known Member

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  7. Moops

    Moops Well-Known Member

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    He is in Bradford as we speak, handling all negotiations.
     
  8. Canteen Worker

    Canteen Worker Well-Known Member 2016 Tipping Competitor

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    He is in the clink at Newtown, arrested for dancing naked on the rooftop!!!!
     
  9. Kiwi Eagle

    Kiwi Eagle Moderator Staff Member 2016 Tipping Competitor

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    DSM has been found, apparently supports a side named Grimsby in the off season

    Dear Players of Grimsby Town FC,

    I am writing with regard to my absolute astonishment and disbelief as to the sheer magnitude of your complete lack of talent and failure to carry out the job for which you are paid to do. I am not aware of any swear word or other derogatory phrase in my current vocabulary which comes close to a description of your ‘performance’ (and I use that term loosely) this afternoon, but let me just say that you have collectively reached a level of inadequacy and ineptitude that neither I nor modern science had previously considered possible.

    In fact I recall a time, in my youth, when I decided to call in sick at work and instead spent the entire day in my one bedroom flat wearing nothing but my underpants, eating toast and ------- furiously over second-rate Scandinavian porn. Yet somehow, I still managed to contribute more to my employer in that one Andrex-filled day than you complete bunch of toss-baskets have contributed to this club in your entire time here.
    I would genuinely like to know how you pathetic little pishflaps sleep at night, knowing full well that you have taken my money and that of several thousand others and delivered precisely ---- all in return. I run a business myself, and I believe I could take any 4,000 of my customers at random; burn down their houses, impregnate their wives and then dismember their children before systematically sending them back in the post, limb-by-limb, and still ensure a level of customer satisfaction which exceeds that which I have experienced at Blundell Park at any time so far this season.
    You are a total disgrace, not only to your profession, not only to the human race, but to nature itself. This may sound like an exaggeration, but believe me when I say that I have passed kidney stones which have brought me a greater level of pleasure and entertainment than watching each of you worthless excuses for professional footballers attempt to play a game you are clearly incapable of playing, week-in, week-out.
    I considered, for a second, that I was perhaps being a little too harsh. But then I recalled that I have blindly given you all the benefit of the doubt for too long now. Yes, for too long you have failed to earn the air you’ve been breathing by offering any kind of tangible quality either as footballers or as people in general. As such, I feel it’s only fair that your supply runs out forthwith.
    I trust, at this precise moment in time, that Mr Fenty is in his office tapping away on the easyJet web site booking you all one-way flights to Zurich, complete with an overnight stay with our cheese eating friends at Dignitas. Don’t bother packing your toothbrush – you won’t need it.
    In the event that our beloved chairman can’t afford the expense (understandable given that he’s soon going to have to assemble a new squad from scratch), then I am prepared to sell my family (including my unborn child) to a dubious consortium of Middle Eastern businessmen in order to pay for the flights. Christ, I’ll drive you there myself, one-by one, without sleep, if I have to.
    Failing that, understanding that most dubious Middle Eastern businessmen are tied-up purchasing Premier League football clubs, I ask you to please take matters into your hands. Use your imagination, guys – strangle yourselves or cover yourself in tinfoil and take a fork to a nearby plug socket, or something. Just put yourselves and us fans out of our collective misery.
    So, in summary, you pack of repugnant, sputum-filled, invertebrate --------; leave this club now and don’t you ------- dare look back. You’ve consistently demonstrated less passion and desire than can commonly be found within the contents of a sloth’s scrotum, so frankly you can just all ---- off – don’t pass go, don’t collect your wages, don’t ever come back to this town again.
    I look forward to you serving me at my local McDonald’s drive-through in the near future.
    Yours sincerely
    A very disillusioned Mariner
     
  10. Dan

    Dan Administrator Staff Member Administrator 2016 Tipping Competitor

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    A top rate speil but ruined by the contradictions in the last paragraph
     
  11. Fro

    Fro Well-Known Member

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    He's still drunk after hearing the news, cant really blame him, he has fought the good fight against this overrated garden gnome and should now be content.
     

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