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Tuesday funny

Discussion in 'General Discussion Forum' started by Fluffy, Jan 24, 2006.

  1. Fluffy

    Fluffy Well-Known Member

    +3,441 / 125
    "Something About Wives"

    My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.

    -Henny Youngman


    My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

    -Rodney Dangerfield


    A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

    -Milton Berle


    The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

    -Henny Youngman


    After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."

    The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."


    When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.


    I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.


    My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.


    A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.


    Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.


    Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa, a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

    Dad: That happens in every country, son.


    Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.


    Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

    Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.


    It's not true that married men live longer than single men.

    It only seems longer.


    Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.


    Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.


    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


    A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.

    The man thinks for a moment and says, “Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."


    Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.

    They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.


    The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
  2. bluesabilly1954

    bluesabilly1954 Member

    +0 / 0
    hallway sex in marriage
    the first five years you have sex in the loungeroom,the kitchen and anywhere elase in the house,
    from five to ten years you have sex once a week in the bedroom

    10 years plus you have hallway sex,that is where you pass each other in the hallway and tell each other to get fecked
  3. The Fonz

    The Fonz Member

    +0 / 0
    I married Mrs Right. I just didm't know her first name was always.
  4. Canteen Worker

    Canteen Worker Well-Known Member 2016 Tipping Competitor

    +212 / 5

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