Tim Smith leaves dark place for comeback

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http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/sport/nrl/tim-smith-leaves-dark-place-for-comeback/story-e6frexnr-1225766898518


Tim Smith leaves dark place for comeback

By James Phelps From: The Daily Telegraph  August 28, 2009 12:00AM

THE sun bounces off Tim Smith's face as he sits in a green field on the outskirts of Melbourne. He lies back basking in the warmth. In the light. But the darkness still lives inside him. The depression that ruined his career at Parramatta.


Smith looks down at his shadow as he talks about the two weeks he spent sitting in a room in a Gold Coast rehabilitation clinic. With just a bed, a sink and a toilet, he was locked in this room, but he wasn't alone. The snarling black dog was there too. All teeth and terror.

"I will always be bipolar,'' Smith said. "That is something that will never go away. I will get depressed from time to time, but it is something I have to deal with.

"It is something I would not wish on anyone, but I have just had to learn to deal with.''

Just three years after being labelled the next Peter Sterling, this former Dally M rookie of the year found himself in a hospital room confronting his demons. His career had come crashing down after a series of alcohol-related misdemeanours.

After playing three games of season 2008, Smith fronted a press conference at Parramatta Stadium on April 14 and told the world he was standing down from rugby league.

While choking back tears, he also revealed he had been diagnosed with bipolar and said he needed help.

"It was tough,'' Smith said. "Real tough. I was really lucky I had a lot of people around me that were very supportive. I don't know what would have happened without that support because it was the hardest time of my life. I spent two weeks in the clinic. I had to go in and talk about all this personal stuff.

"They made me get it all off my chest. I would wake up early and go and talk to people. I had to open up about all my problems. I would have two or three of those sessions and then go back to my room and think about it. I had to stay there until they thought it was OK.''

Darkness had engulfed Smith in the weeks leading up to his shock departure from the Eels.

He spent most of his time in his bedroom with the curtains drawn shut. "I just had to leave the Eels. It was for me and I did it for myself. I am still, to this day, glad I did it because I was in a real bad place.''

But 16 months on, Smith can see the light. He survived a 12-month stint with English Super League giants Wigan without incident. He now has his sights set on a return to the NRL.

"I have always wanted to get back,'' Smith said. "At the time I needed to get away because of all the drama, but I am back now.

"I think I have just grown up as a person. Obviously I have a girlfriend now and she has helped me a lot. We have known each other for a few years and we started dating about four months ago. She has helped give me stability.''

Smith, 24, is willing to do whatever it takes to return to the NRL and will play for just $50,000 a year if he has to.

"Hopefully within a week or two I will have something nutted out,'' he said. "But I know I have to start all over again. I am not going to be on the money I was on, but I am willing to take that paycut.

"I just want to get back in it and prove to myself I can be the player I know I can be.''
 
I admit I've had mixed thoughts over Tim Smith as a No. 7 but he would come cheap and could be a good signing thoughts ? He also has a not bad kicking game.
 
Tim smith is a nice guy in RL (real life)... he was under immence pressure when he was sent to parra as a teen, and was always telling friends (from the GC) how tired he was all the time from training etc.

You can talk about depression as an excuse, but in this case an excuse that is worth listening to.
 
Theres a fair difference betwen bipolar and depression Matas, as I am sure you are more than aware
 
Matabele link said:
I hate it when people use depression as an excuse for their failings.

That’s a bit rich.

Depression has nothing to do with one’s own failings as you put it Mata.

It’s a disease that doesn't discriminate and unfortunately it takes the lives of many of a good young and old people alike with suicidal tendencies.

Suffering from bipolar and admitting that you have it wouldn't have been easy to accept by Tim Smith, seeking help for it would have been even harder. I'm not a big fan of him but all power and strength to him in fighting his demons.
 
Anyway who cares whether he has got depression or not, bottom line is that he actually isn't that good. Wouldn't want him anywhere near a Manly jumper.
 
PONTIAN SEA EAGLE link said:
meditation works it stills the mind people should try it $30 a session beats alcohol.  
meditation costs zip for those few who are ready in this moment to forget all the intellectual theories we call knowledge, and to privilege what is right now over our theories about what has been and what should be.

Or we can believe we know who Tim Smith (or David Gallop :)) is and who he should be.
 
Rex link said:
meditation costs zip for those few who are ready in this moment to forget all the intellectual theories we call knowledge, and to privilege what is right now over our theories about what has been and what should be.
That's easy for you to say!  :)
 
So quick to jump on matas. Did any of you stop to think he may be talking from a standpoint of personal experience and knowledge?

I would hazzard a guess that a fair percentage of users of this site are sufferers of depression or bipolar but we all learn to handle it and deal with it differently
 
Exactly Dan.  With Smith "blaming" his condition for his alcohol fuelled exploits all he is doing is reinforcing the unfair stigma and stereotypes.
 
I am getting depressed just reading this thread.

Funny how we don't hear about Mason blaming being caught pissing against a wall on his ADHD any more.

Wake up people.  These are just excuses thought up by smart arse lawyers to say that the person was not responsible for his actions.

I was at the Captain Cook hotel in the rocks on the night that smith got caught pissing in someones front yard.  He was just very pissed on the night. 
 
He doesn't have depression, he's got manic depression/bipolar. It's completely different and as someone who once had a manic episode you've got no idea how out of control and out of touch with reality it makes you. It was ****ing awesome tbh, I was the king of the world :eek: Anyway I'm sure Mata is just **** stirring.

As for Smith he'd be a great back up and could be a good half but we seem to have two good prospects already in Hodgkinson and Cherry Evans.
 
DSM5 link said:
I suffer from it everytime I see Orford get that ball in his hand twenty metres out. 

LOL. I find curling up in the foetal position and humming to myself helps with this.
 
Dan link said:
So quick to jump on matas. Did any of you stop to think he may be talking from a standpoint of personal experience and knowledge?

I would hazzard a guess that a fair percentage of users of this site are sufferers of depression or bipolar but we all learn to handle it and deal with it differently

The personal experience and knowledge angle can also work for the people bagging his statement Dan. 1 year ago I would have probably could have gone along with what he was saying, a personal experience has changed that opinion now though
 
Team P W L PD Pts
3 3 0 48 6
4 3 1 28 6
3 2 1 10 6
4 2 2 39 4
3 2 1 28 4
3 2 1 15 4
3 2 1 14 4
2 1 1 13 4
2 1 1 6 4
3 2 1 -3 4
3 1 2 0 2
3 1 2 -5 2
3 1 2 -15 2
3 1 2 -22 2
3 1 2 -36 2
2 0 2 -56 2
3 0 3 -64 0
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