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The Eagle's 2012 Preview

Discussion in 'Rugby League Forum' started by The Eagle, Feb 8, 2012.

  1. The Eagle

    The Eagle Well-Known Member

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    So the NRL season is merely weeks away and for us silvertails we get to start with hopefully the world championship in rugby league,i know i know we lost to the sharks but after "stealing" 2 grand finals from them we owed them something......we couldnt afford a pack of timtams (According to the telegraph anyway) so we gave them a trials win!!!

    Presented for your reading pleasure is my preview for the season ahead,enjoy

    Minor Premiership standings

    1 Wests Tigers
    2 Warriors
    3 Manly
    4 North Queensland
    5 South Sydney
    6 Melbourne
    7 Gold Coast
    8 Parramatta
    9 Canterbury-Bankstown
    10 Sydney Roosters
    11 Newcastle
    12 St George Illawarra
    13 Brisbane
    14 Canberra
    15 Cronulla
    16 Penrith

    Team Reviews in table order

    Tigpies
    Ins: Adam Blair, Joel Reddy, Matt Bell, Tom Humble, John Grant

    Outs: Bryce Gibbs, Tim Moltzen, Todd Payten, Wade McKinnon, Geoff Daniela, Mark Flanagan, Andrew Fifita

    Look like a legitimate title contender this year,however most of those outs are for a single player,The merkin known as Adam Blair who cowardly hits rookies whilst held by his teammates,

    Why theyll make the 8 - Adam Blair gives them everything they needed,even sadly his merkin's additude will help the rest of his pack not look like schoolkids

    Why they wont make the 8 - Adam Blair getting suspended,he'll be walking a tightrope after the legendary battle of brookvale,Also a new term was coined after their contract debacle which is where a player dogs one club and rejoins his own "Doing a Moltz",he wasnt really worth all that effort from either club

    Warriors

    The other fearful prospect in chasing back to back,The warriors are a tad stronger this year and whilst it reads alot of first graders have left the club,their under 20s could spank the **** out of most top grade teams,especially this years panthers,Also look to Friend to add much needed creativity from hooker

    Ins: Nathan Friend

    Outs: Lance Hohaia, Brett Seymour, Joel Moon, Aaron Heremaia, Jeremy Latimore

    Why they'll make the 8

    Have you seen their squad? They are no **** one of the scariest sides ever constructed legally,Friend will give some much needed flair at hooker and Johnson is one of the scariest halfbacks to play against,he near made me lose my lunch in my pants in the grand final

    Why they wont make the 8

    Injuries or the debacle surrounding the signing from the roosters of Maloney a year out from the end of contract,the NRL must fix this stupid sort of signing,Also Maloney's kicking under the pump might prove to much for the warriors this year

    Sea Eagles

    Chasing back to back is never easy,but when a coach loses his **** at the board,leaves the club then trys to rip its celebrating heart out on his way through the door,it makes things a little tougher....however with that its now on the players to prove they made the team,instead of the coach

    Ins: Ben Farrar,Nick Skinner

    Outs: Will Hopoate, Shane Rodney, Michael Robertson

    Why they'll make the 8

    K Foz,Cherry Poppins and The prince of brookvale or as Ray Warren calls him,Mr Magic would be a bountiful reason why this heavyweight will be around in september however theres alot more stars a little under the hood,including the entire back row and both centres,Still slightly skinny upfront but that didnt stop them in 2011 and those depth players got a run

    Why they wont make the 8

    George Roses weight baloons and tips the bus over whilst driving up the M4 to spank the spooners,Injuries or the feared 2nd year or new coach syndrome,will miss departing trio Rodney,Hopoate and the mercurial Mr Robertson

    Cowboys

    After unearthing a particularly huge prospect last year in Simms,i expect improvement from this lot this year,Thurston moving over gives (Merkin) Lui a run in the number 7

    Ins: Kane Linnett, Luke Harlen

    Outs: Willie Tonga, Leeson Ah Mau, Will Tupou, Shannon Gallant, Michael Bani, Clint Amos

    Why they'll make the 8

    Thurston,Bowen and Simms could almost do this themselves however they do have other talents in the squad,Plus Thurston isnt known as the worlds best (Argueably) playmaker for nothin

    Why they wont make the 8

    Injuries,Suspensions,Monsoonal weather or Robert Lui going upstate for his (alleged)heinous crimes,Either that or Sam Backo extracting revenge

    Souffs

    Look like a contender,smell like a contender,taste like a pile of injuries however with the "loss" of Sandow could find themselves playing september football for a change

    Ins: Matt King, Ryan Carr, Justin Hunt

    Outs: Chris Sandow, Beau Falloon, Shannon McPherson, Luke Stuart, Rhys Wesser

    Why they'll make the 8

    A very talented top squad,a successful new coach and yet another few decent signings in Matt King,replacing whoever he is replacing.....

    Why they wont make the 8

    Souths are renowned worldwide for both under achieving and having copious amounts of injuries,either could lose them their spot

    Storm

    In recent years always a headache for anyone unlucky enough to play against them,they should scrape into the 8 this year on the back of the big 3

    Ins: Michael Greenfield (St George), Ryan Hoffman (Wigan), Siosia Vava (Cronulla), Shea Moylan (Wynnum-Manly), Kenneath Bromwich, Mahe Fonua, Slade Griffin, Ben Hampton, Tohu Harris, Jordan McLean (all from Thunderbolts U20's side)

    Outs: Adam Blair, Beau Champion, Jake Hawkins, Mitchell Johnson, Sione Kite, Elijah Niko, Robbie Rochow, Chase Stanley, Atelia Vea, Troy Thompson (retired), Adam Woolnough (retired)

    Why they'll make the 8

    The competition in this league whilst the best worldwide has alot of space for improvement,to see this you just have to look at former stormer Beau Champion,apparently a legitimate 1st grader he is the reason for blowouts....in the favour for anyone he is opposing

    Why they wont make the 8

    Same as every team,injuries suspensions and assorted other excuses....but mostly because they have lost the emotion that drove them to clinch the minor premiership,you cant hold it in THAT long

    Titans

    Should be looking back at september football this year due to plethora of new signings,new centre pairing (If thats what you want to call Champion) and a supposedly revived Prince

    Ins: Jamal Idris, Luke Douglas, Beau Champion, Nate Myles, Beau Falloon, Phil Graham, Aidan Sezer

    Outs: Nathan Friend, Anthony Laffranchi, Brad Meyers, Esi Tonga, Joseph Tomane, Will Matthews, Luke Capewell, Preston Campbell, Clinton Toopi, Shannon Walker

    Why they'll make the 8

    That new team smell that they had whenever it was they joined the competition should be back in full force,no longer dads army

    Why they wont make the 8

    When Scott Prince is seen as your lord and Mantits Idris is seen as your saviour,you know you have a slight problem

    Parramatta

    Have cut alot of dead wood that could see them in the race,only to fall out early in the finals to a record score

    Ins :Chris Sandow,Ben Roberts,Esi Tonga,Joseph Paulo,Taulima Tautai ,Willie Tonga

    Outs :paul Whatuira,Jeff Robson,Anthony Mitchell,Joel Reddy,Chris Walker,Chris Hicks,Tom Humble,Manase Manuokafoa,Daniel Mortimer

    Why they'll make the 8

    Alot of new faces,alot of bad players let go and the signing of the new next Stirling,Chris Sandow should bring some flamboyancy to a side that has nothing but flamboyancy.....

    Why they wont make the 8

    Because they are parramatta,their "Big Signings" are a poor joke and theres another few years til their only big signing since.....well lets face it they've never had one William Hopoate will be joining them....in a few years

    Bulldogs

    Perrenial best of the rest the bulldogs have made a few high profile signings in the offseason including former Manly coach Des Hasler and english sensation James Graham

    Ins: James Graham (St Helens)

    Outs: Andrew Ryan (retired), Michael Hodgson (retired), Brad Morrin (retired), Chris Armit (Penrith), Jamal Idris (Gold Coast), Mickey Paea (Hull KR), Ben Roberts (Parramatta), Aidan Sezer (Gold Coast), Junior Tia Kilifi (Penrith), Gary Warburton (released)

    Why they'll make the 8

    They will have you believe that Des Hasler took the field last year,which he did not,they will also have you believe that James Graham will add starch to their pack,which he will

    Why they wont make the 8

    Other than their biggest signing adding starch to their STRONGEST position on field,perhaps also in the NRL at this point in time,he is like a 3rd nipple in the bulldogs pack,They did not need him,Also wont make the 8 because a ****load of deadwood in the backs and a fullback that couldnt catch an STD in a brothel

    Roosters

    Should be slightly resurgent this year due to the loss of Todd Carneys drinking bills,however the problem is that is a financial gain.....not a place they needed it

    Ins: Jack Bosden, Peni Tagive, Daniel Tupou

    Outs: Todd Carney, Nate Myles, Mark Riddell, Daniel Conn, Kane Linnett, Phil Graham

    Why They'll make the 8

    They lost Carney and "**** in this hallway yeah?" Myles,on the back of which last year seemed to make them slightly better

    Why they wont make the 8

    They dont have the cattle,Mitchell Pearce is as good a halfback as Adolf Hitler was a good bloke (That means he is REALLY ****)

    Knights

    Have a new owner,new coach but a hell of alot of work to do which sadly includes finding a real owner to the 6 and 7 jerseys

    Ins: Darius Boyd, Timana Tahu, Kade Snowden, Danny Buderus, Alex McKinnon,Adam Cuthbertson

    Outs: Mark Taufua, Keith Lulia, Isaac De Gois, Ben Rogers, Adam MacDougall, Steve Southern, Antonio Kaufusi, Dan Tolar

    Why They'll make the 8

    The Wayne Bennett factor has seen him miss the finals rarely whilst head coach of a team

    Why they wont make the 8

    Their halves,Gidley is about as much as a halfback as Robert Lui is for womens rights,Their signings were so so including Danny Buderus (Just retired already you merkin) and Kade Snowden (either very good or very average)

    Illawarra

    The toll of the post Bennett era sees them chasing huge names such as Tim Moltzen? and losing him? WTF?

    Ins: Chase Stanley, Will Matthews, Jeremy Latimore, Tim Moltzen, Leeson Ah Mau, Daniel Vidot, Josh Miller, Atelea Vea

    Outs: Darius Boyd, Jack Bosden, Jon Green, Mark Gasnier, Peni Tagive, Alex McKinnon, Jon Green,Adam Cuthbertson

    Why They'll make the 8

    Because according to Wendell Sailor,Jamie Soward is a football god and they ummm.....HAVE THE RED V!!!!

    Why they wont make the 8

    Even their newly built stand choked in the last big wind in Wollongong,They lost a fight with wests over Tim Moltzen which makes you think he is a superstar.....however he is not,Its the Post-Bennett Era now,they are going downhill

    Donkeys

    Darren Lockyer has reportedly had his last **** in Broncos hq which means he is officially retired

    Ins: Petero Civoniceva, Luke Capewell

    Outs: Darren Lockyer, Denan Kemp, Shane Tronc, Shea Moylan

    Why they'll make the 8

    Love them or hate them they are the broncos and have been a force since the start of their time and will continue to do so,Lockyer or not

    Why they wont make the 8

    Whilst having alot of talent already,their biggest signing is probably going to be a grandfather in the next year or 2 and who exactly in the **** is Luke Capewell? Also they have lost their boy Lockyer to the grips of retirement,even old codgers have to hang up the boots sooner or later

    Canberra

    This team boasts the grace of a besser brick and adds to it a lust for losing their big names to keep a licenseless speedster who doesnt believe cops can read their own speedo

    Ins: Nil

    Outs: Alan Tongue, Daniel Vidot, Josh Miller, Matt Orford, Danny Galea

    Why They'll make the 8

    Sam Williams is a star on the rise and i hear that former blues (LOL) five eight Campese is fighting fit waiting for the season to start

    Why they wont make the 8

    They didnt make it last year and released the amazing,the sensual and the delectable Matt Orford,plus great clubman Tongue and Vidot and went and replaced them with......(drumroll).....NOBODY!!!!

    Sharks

    After spanking the reigning premiers in a be all and end all trial,the trophy should be immediatly rushed to Shark HQ to be on display in their trophy cabinet....Wait whats that bones? They dont have one? oh wells......

    Ins: Mark Taufua, Jeff Robson, Bryce Gibbs, Andrew Fifita, Jon Green, Isaac De Gois, Ben Ross,Todd Carney

    Outs: Kade Snowden, Luke Douglas, Dean Collis, Taulima Tautai, Ryan Tongia

    Why they'll make the 8

    Because Paul Gallen said so,Also i hear Paul Gallen can turn water into urine!!! ASTONISHING!!!!

    Why they wont make the 8

    They are the sharks,they will be to comfortable nessled in with new signing Carney at Northies to play proper football or infact follow the law

    Panfers

    After signing with the mountain men (isnt that an all male porno?) Gus Gould's hair turned bright white!!! Watch out there will be alot of tickets handed out at games if anyone is a very bad boy

    Ins: Clint Newton, Danny Galea, Geoff Daniela

    Outs: Timana Tahu, Trent Waterhouse, Frank Puletua, Shane Elford, Matt Bell, Petero Civoniceva, Adrian Purtell

    Why they'll make the 8

    Because god loves them....no seriously he does,he loves those who love....whatever it is folks from penrith love,god really loves the riff!!!

    Why they wont make the 8

    Where do i start? Signings? Ok so they've lost alot of ummmmm....players of not much value and replaced them with fewer places of not much value,Coach Ivan Cleary has basically nothing to work with,what he will be doing is akin to doing a ****,finding a canvass and attempting to make a masterpeice using nothing but chopsticks and rubber bands,Penrith are specials for the spoon,bet of the year as far as this race goes....wait a second i mean least wins,due to the fact that Melbourne changed the meaning of wooden spoon,it now entails boats and other goodies including kitchens and big screen tvs,penrith will be lucky to make 10 points byes inclusive
     
  2. Chip and Chase

    Chip and Chase True Supporter Staff Member Administrator Premium Member 2016 Tipping Competitor

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    tl;dr.

    Also fearful of amount of speeling and grammetical errors likely to be present.

    BTW Berrigan is playing for Canberra this year.
     
  3. Ian Martin tragic

    Ian Martin tragic Well-Known Member

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    Beautiful work Eagle.

    I suppose (hope) that we've had our little dose of earth-shuddering, self destructive off-field catastrophe early this year and got it out of the way.

    I just want the WCC thing to go off well without any major injuries, plane crashes, arrests, etc, like a good solid trial in the frozen wastes of Leeds. Then its 5 weeks away trying to learn the new coach's playbook. Let's see how we are travelling after that. I'd be happy with 3 wins by then.
     
  4. eagles2win

    eagles2win Well-Known Member

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    Can I post this on another forum?

    Absolute crack up
     
  5. The Who

    The Who Well-Known Member

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    While respecting your opinions I can hardly believe your predications for the top eight. You have put in Suffs, Titans and Parramatta yet have Newcastle, Illawarra and Brisbane finishing 11-13th.
    No way will this be the case.
    Brisbane will be in the top three because they have so many advantages over the remaining 15 clubs. Wouldn't it be nice to know you are playing (virtually) every Friday night, and have a talent pool drawn from 2 million people!
    I hope I'm wrong, but history is on my side, and Broncos will continue to be at or near the top of the table until the NRL puts another one or two teams in Brisbane to even up the comp.
     
  6. Stevo

    Stevo Well-Known Member

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    Paul Gallen can turn water into urine. lol
     
  7. Cameron

    Cameron Cambo Premium Member

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    Couldnt catch an std in a brothel lol
    Quality shAne
     
  8. MadMarcus

    MadMarcus Local Lunatic 2016 Tipping Competitor

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    A very entertaining read Eagle.

    For mine, I think Tigers, Souths, Roosters will finish lower thanks you have predicted and the Sharks, Melbourne, Broncos and maybe Titans will be higher.
     
  9. The Eagle

    The Eagle Well-Known Member

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    Yes you can mate,just put a link to us there :)

    Dan could use the publicity to make sure all manly
    fans come down here (Hopefully im not standing on his
    toes)[hr]
    The top 4 is the premiership heavyweights,certainties i believe for the 8,between 5-15 isnt set in stone and will be subject to injuries and suspensions and those last 4 spots are up for grabs

    Anyone is welcome to disagree as my views arent often shared
    by all

    Panfers will finish last,this is also a certainty imo
     
  10. The Eagle

    The Eagle Well-Known Member

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    Shameless self bump before kickoff
     

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