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clontaago

First Grader
I keep having my profile on that dating website RSVP rejected.
One of the questions is, 'What do you want in a woman?'.
Apparently 'my dick' is not an acceptable answer.
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A suicide bomber runs into a pet shop and yells, 'you've all got 30 seconds to get out!'
The tortoise at the back of the shop shouts, 'you prick !'
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why are women like clouds? eventually they go away and its a really nice day
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Whats the difference between light and hard?
You can sleep with a light on.
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A man walks into a petrol station and says, 'can I please have a KitKat Chunky?'
The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him.
'No,' says the man, 'I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat bitch.'
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My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood.
We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and, when I am in a bad mood, it leaves a big  big red mark on her forehead.
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I was at an ATM money machine when an old lady came up and asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
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Zebo, a half blind five year old south african orphan, has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes. Give just small donation of 2 dollars and we'll send you the video, it's hilarious....
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I had a dog named minton who had an unfortunate habit of eating shuttlecocks.
Bad minton.
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Two men are in a pub. One says to his mate 'My mother-in-law is an angel'. The reply from his friend...... 'You're so  lucky... Mine's still alive...'
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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says; 'no way, you won't bring it back.'
 
Did you hear that they have found Diarrhea is hereditary ...
......
....
it runs in your genes!
 
Team P W L PD Pts
3 3 0 48 6
4 3 1 28 6
3 2 1 10 6
4 2 2 39 4
3 2 1 28 4
3 2 1 15 4
3 2 1 14 4
2 1 1 13 4
2 1 1 6 4
3 2 1 -3 4
3 1 2 0 2
3 1 2 -5 2
3 1 2 -15 2
3 1 2 -22 2
3 1 2 -36 2
2 0 2 -56 2
3 0 3 -64 0
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