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Discussion in 'General Discussion Forum' started by The Wheel, May 13, 2005.

  1. The Wheel

    The Wheel Well-Known Member

    +1,721 / 71
    The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

    Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife.

    When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person.

    He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need - a new suit."

    He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long."

    Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

    "Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said.

    Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly.

    As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"

    Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."

    The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve and 16-1/2 neck."

    Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

    "Been in the business 60 years!"

    Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.

    Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"

    Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure."

    The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see...size 36."

    Joe laughed "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."

    The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

    New suit = $400
    New shirt = $ 36
    New underwear = $ 6

    Second opinion PRICELESS
  2. PJ

    PJ Well-Known Member

    +49 / 0
    Not too bad....
    Did you here about the 90 year old billionaire who went to visit his GP to tell him that he had just made his new 18 year old super model wife pregnant.
    The doc sat the old bloke down on a chair and started to tell him a story.
    "When I was a kid I was walking through the forest with my grandfather and about 100m down the hill beside the stream was a beaver, " he said.
    " My Grandfather then got down on one knee and prentended to shoot the beaver - low and behold it dropped dead."
    At this point the old man interjected, "That can't be right, someone else must have shot the beaver."
    to which the doc replied-"exactly!"
  3. willstyles

    willstyles Active Member

    +4 / 0
    I've heard the first one before. It's solid, but the second one certainly made me laugh.

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